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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my DD shouldn't have been punished for saying this ?

89 replies

spiderpig8 · 07/03/2010 11:24

That her drawing was rubbish ! She takes her art very seriously and rubbed out one side of a butterfly wing and said it was rubbish.The teacher told her that in school they weren't allowed to call their work rubbish and put her name on the board.Actually found this out from the TA.She is 8

OP posts:
Feenie · 07/03/2010 13:02

Actually, I don't think there are - I've certainly never seen any. And it isn't just AIBU - it's often the case on Primary aswell that the teacher is a twat. So rude and disrespectful.

TheFirstLady · 07/03/2010 13:09

I have never seen any threads where teachers are calling parents twats and saying they are not fit to have children. Yet, as Feenie says, it seems to be acceptable to say this about teachers - for comic effect? Really? I don't think it is very funny to say that someone should be drummed out of their profession on the basis of a one-sided and partial story.

thumbwitch · 07/03/2010 13:11

Pah - bloody teachers and art! If the DD knows her own work is rubbish, she can say so - WTF has it to do with the teacher anyway? It's not like she called anyone else's work rubbish, she rubbed her drawing out because she wasn't happy with it - and she's PUNISHED for this?

Wow - let's all keep going with the "praise mediocrity" thing and don't allow any criticism that might make anyone feel like they haven't achieved something, even if they KNOW it themselves.

FFS - I despair.

BTW, I still resent bitterly being slapped on the hand when I didn't immediately stop tracing a butterfly when we were told to stop and I was halfway through - I think I was 6 at the time and you know how hard it is to reposition the tracing paper properly if you stop halfway! I was trying to do a proper job but got a slapped hand for it (Looooong time ago) - warped me, that did.

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 13:14

Feenie I teach young kids myself so call me what you like I would call a Bad Doc a knob and a priest/nun/pope etc . If the story is correct we have a bad teacher who==a knob for reacting in this way. Teachers need to take criticism if they are in the wrong AS DO PARENTS. And claig am pouring you another.Come on Feenie tell us would you defend the teachers actions if true I just want to know and proise to moderate the insults? PLEASE

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 13:20

@claig

Feenie · 07/03/2010 13:21

No, of course I wouldn't if the story was verified - but my point is that it isn't yet, and yet too often on MN posters refer to teachers this way. It shows marked disrespect and, as I said, I wouldn't dream of referring to parents as such.

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 13:24

thefirstlady not many BAD teacher are drummed out of the profession in the state system they are moved. We are not talking about allegations of abuse here just rotten teaching style IF TRUE. Suck it up I say

claig · 07/03/2010 13:24

thanks cos the sherry is all gone

Teachers are human beings like the rest of us. Nobody is above criticism. All of us are capable of being knobs, politicians, doctors, lawyers, dentists, estate agents, mumsnetters, and also teachers.

claig · 07/03/2010 13:28

oh and definitely bankers as well

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 13:28

I get that point Feenie but I am now on a hypothetical debate here and probably putting feelers out for opinions on modern teaching style. I promie not to go too off topic but I do love a good debate on yhis really. >

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 13:28

typos this this this

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 13:29

promise promise promise

thumbwitch · 07/03/2010 13:33

Feenie are you suggesting that the TA made the story up? Or somehow got it wrong? Because the OP got the story from the TA, not from her 8yo DD.

BoL - anything that allows children to accept mediocrity as being a good thing and doesn't introduce them to the concept of failure with the added notion of "doing better" is a crap system. IMO.

claig · 07/03/2010 13:36

spot on thumbwitch, that is what it is all about

Goblinchild · 07/03/2010 13:41

Feenie, you are on the wrong forum if you want people who are polite to teachers. In fact the only thing worse than outing yourself as a teacher here would seem to be owning up to FF as well.

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 13:43

@thumbwitch spot on I am pouring you a drink too we need to teach them these things to set them on the hard highway of life, children can deal with it.

thumbwitch · 07/03/2010 13:46

cheers BoL and claig! Bottoms up!

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 13:50

@GOBLINCHILD I OWN UP TO BOTH as a teacher and FF but can take all the flak and good constructive critique makes the world go round and anyone who doesn't get it is a knob IMHO Can I have abite of the Greggs pasty, I love those?

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 13:52

Cheers Girls!

Goblinchild · 07/03/2010 13:52

You can have the rest of the pasties as I'm off to have a bath. I've tried combining bathing and eating to save time before, and it ended badly. Stew and dumplings to be precise...

bernadetteoflourdes · 07/03/2010 14:00

@GOBLIN

saslou · 07/03/2010 14:16

Feenie - I think it is because so many of us have come across horrible behaviour from teachers.
I used to be a teacher and one of my first jobs was in the school where I used to be a pupil.Maybe I was naive, but I was horrified by some of the conversations going on in the staffroom. Now(as an older and hopefully wiser)parent,I don't expect teachers to be better or worse than anyone else.
That said I have also met,and my dc have been taught by some lovely teachers

Feenie · 07/03/2010 15:28

Not sure why people think that I mean teachers should be above criticism - of course they shouldn't. But I don't see why Mners should resort to immediate name calling, which has got a lot worse lately.

I have no idea if the TA was being straight with the op at all - as others have pointed out, it's unusual for a TA to tell a parent about an incident a teacher has dealt with - which is why the op should check with the teacher before going in all guns blazing.

But there's absolutely no need, imo, to call the woman a twat.

janeiteisFedUp · 07/03/2010 15:41

Feenie - as always, I agree with you. And the TA should have kept her nose out and not go chattering about what happens in the classroom. If it was a huge issue, surely the OP's daughter would have said something?

It sounds to me like the child got into a bit of a 'sulk' because her drawing wasn't as perfect as she wanted it to be. Perhaps the teacher was trying to encourage her not to give in/judge it as rubbish too quickly? Silly to put her name on the board though.

But Spider - you need to ask your dd and the teacher before you can make your mind up if yabu or not!

Original poster
spiderpig8 · 07/03/2010 19:01

i think he must have read in some textbook that there is a link between a child rubbishing their work and low self esteem.The teacher is also the HT.The TA is a friend and told me about it in an out of school setting.She thinks the teacher in question is bonkers on many counts.

OP posts: