to think parents having my son to sleepover might actually be in the house that night....

[MrsKarpet]

My 13 year old son stayed at his best friends house on Saturday for a sleepover, a fairly common occurence, but I found out the next day that friend's mum and dad spent the evening across the other side of city at a gig till 2 am then went to a party until 4.30 am leaving them alone in house with 11 year old sister. I am gobsmacked at the fact that this happened. At the very least they might have told me their plans so I could have the option of deciding yes or no to the sleepover, as even if they thought this reasonable behaviour is it not right to check with me first???

Am really quite mad at this..... AIBU?

No YANBU, I'd be furious too.

No YANBU - way too young to be left alone.

No, YANBU. That is piss poor. It does depend on the maturity of the 13 year olds etc, but that wasn't their call to make.

Are you sure that what you've heard is true? Positive? Not someone just winding you up?

I totally understand where you are coming from, but I was babystting other children at 13. YANBU to want to know their plans though.

Nope, it's definately not just you. I'd be fuming if I were in your shoes.

I recall a pub landlady friend with a similar dilemma - her DD, then only about 8, was invited over for the evening by people who were both friends and customers. All was well until a couple of hours later when they turned up in the landlady's bar, leaving her DD and their own in the house unattended. My friend hit the roof, loudly and publicly. She got nothing but support from the locals and regulars, many of us friends to her too, yet still the parents didn't see what they'd done wrong.

Question is, how are you going to approach the family who left your DS? I'd be inclined to react as my friend did but not everyone is that outspoken confident.

At 8 - yeah, if they were left alone I'd be furious (but not if left with an older sibling).

At 13, I don't know. I was babysitting a lot at that age, including for a newborn. I suppose it would depend how sensible my 13 year old was.... there was a thread the other week about a couple of younger girls being left for a couple of hours (in the day) with the older sister and I would be fine with that - but 2 13 year old boys being left with an 11 year old child I wouldn't be so keen on... but as I said, it would depend on my child.

I wouldn't say anything though, but next time I would check that they were going to be staying home (if I decided I didn't think they were mature enough to be left alone).

YANBU - this is totally unacceptable in my view. I'd be livid.

Knowing what I got up to at 13, I think YANBatallU to be livid about this. As has been said, one thing to leave your own kid, quite another to leave someone else's kid if their parents aren't aware/agreed. Two 13 year olds can get in a lot of trouble unsupervised overnight!

They are old enough to be left, and to look after an 11 year old, but they should have certainly told you the plan so you could decide whether or not you were happy with it.

Leaving your own 13 year old kids alone until 4.30am is a questionable decision, but to leave someone else's kids without first explaining your plans to their parents is plain wrong.

MadamDeathstare has it right. Two 13 year year olds are more than twice as daft as one.

yet another reason why we dont do sleepovers.

in fact, i have yet to come accross a truly good reason for them.

YANBU. I would be fuming. More that I was not asked. If they want to leave a 13 and 11 year old alone all night then that is up to them. I would not want my 13 year old alone all night at all.
If they popped down the local for a couple of hours I would not mind though, but partying until 4 am is out of order imo. You should have been told.

Hope there was no funny business with all those hormones and no parental supervision!

No offense meant to you or you ds OP, not knowing the kids involved, but sometimes these things do happen, let's face it. Even at 11, sadly.

FarmerJones, I couldn't agree more. I hate, loathe and detest sleepovers.

YANBU !!
Does your DS have a mobile phone ? I would impresson him that he is to phone you if something like that happens.

do people really think it's OK to leave a 13 yo all night?
MN is so divided on these things!

Leaving 13 yos to babysit is one thing. I used to babysit a 9yo at that age, but only until about 10.30 - 11pm. Leaving them until 4.30am is quite something else.

I think this is really out of order. If they feel OK about it for their own kids that is their business but surely anyone with a grain of common sense would have realised that they should not be making this decision on someone else behalf.

yanbu

YANBU, I would be pissed off too. I do not leave my 14 year old all night on her own - it's not fair. I do go out of an evening and leave her on her own but make sure I am back by midnight at the very latest - usually before that tbh.

I would be really annoyed if she went on a sleepover and the parents did this. Feckless twats.

I also think 13 is too old for babysitting. I used to babysit aged around 15 but my parents were just across the road, in case of emergencies.

I don't leave my 15 and 12 year old daughters at home alone in the evenings and I certainly wouldn't leave anybody else's children, even if I was happy to leave my own.

Mrs Karpet - are you still around? Did you speak to the parents?

This is totally unacceptable, IMO.

YANBU, I would be livid.

13 yr olds are useful for babysitting but certainly should not be in sole charge till 4.30am so this is a false argument.

It was not their decision to make about whether your son should have been left until that time without adult supervision.