to think parents having my son to sleepover might actually be in the house that night....

[MrsKarpet]

My 13 year old son stayed at his best friends house on Saturday for a sleepover, a fairly common occurence, but I found out the next day that friend's mum and dad spent the evening across the other side of city at a gig till 2 am then went to a party until 4.30 am leaving them alone in house with 11 year old sister. I am gobsmacked at the fact that this happened. At the very least they might have told me their plans so I could have the option of deciding yes or no to the sleepover, as even if they thought this reasonable behaviour is it not right to check with me first???

Am really quite mad at this..... AIBU?

What was totally wrong was to do it without your knowledge and agreement.

I don't disagree that they are old enough to be left. I leave my 13 year old.

But I would never ever invite somebody else's DC over and then go out for the night. EVER.

And to not ask you is unacceptable.

I would have to say something, maybe not in an aggresive arsey way (not saying you would do it that way) but I would have to mention that I was not happy.

YANBU - some 13 year olds are very sensible, however many of those lose that common sense when one or two friends are added. I would be furious.

I can't believe some people would leave a 13 yo alone (let alone an 11 yo) til 4.30 am

Just realised that I said "I don't think 13 is too old for babysitting" when I meant that I don't think 13 year olds should be doing babysitting. I agree with Spiderpig - I would be very shocked indeed if somebody left a 13 year old alone until the early hours.

Hello just got back online again

Thanks everyone for replying, so glad it's not just me!

Hi Hassled yes it's def true my husband was at same gig as them til 2 then other friends saw them at party - off their heads obviously, another gripe as even if the kids had phoned them in an emergency what on earth were they going to do about it when they were both trashed?? It's actually their stepdad and I spoke to their father about it (he was away working) and he was furious too when the kids told him.

JaneiteisFedUp I haven't spoken to them no, it's very difficult as mum fell out with me last year and has been rude and insulting to me so many times I gave up even trying (more long stories for another AIBU thread!) However the boys have been best friends for 10 years so have done my best not to let this get in way as it's not their fault.

She has done so many things like this I begin to doubt myself and whether my reactions are coloured by our past run-ins or whether she is actually as totally out of order as I think she is. I am pretty sure if it was anyone else's child she would have asked them first if they were ok with it, but then again who knows?! My husband and I have nipped to local (5 mins away) for a couple of hours in the evening leaving them both in house before now and I wouldn't mind that, but only til about 11 at latest and certainly not getting steaming drunk.

Another lesson learned.....

Thanks for getting back to us. I agree with you - the fact they were out so late and (probably) trashed shows they don't have good judgment regarding their own children's welfare, let alone other people's children.