To want to leave the kids with their baby alarm whilst I nip out?

[ColeenR]

My boyfriends out this weekend with his mates like and I'm stuck at home with the kids. A few of my mates are gonna be in the Rose and Crown, just across the road from here. I was gonna go and join them like, but obviously take the baby alarm so I could keep an eye out like. But my mam says this is well dodgy. I don't reckon is it cause I can even see our house from the pub.

What does you lot reckon?

Fecking Daily Mail readers is wot you lot is. Can't see past the end of your fecking fanjos!

shock ooh got carried away talkin to a real wag!

Colleen, you've cheered up this old bird on her birthday. Ta mate!

Is she still here? She's got boring round about the start of her 3rd sentence.

I suppose there's going to be a lot more of this because of the publicity mn is getting in the papers. pathetic really.

Your real name is Richard Littlejohn and you are in yr7 right?

lol
I don't think this OP reads a newspaper

U callin me thick or wot? Are yer? Just because I don't sit there doing the fecking times crossword whilst little justin and penelope do crochet?

I live a real life mate, I have real mates and everything!

err no dear. I'm sure you're very intelligent behind the thick make up and false eyelashes and nails.
look, at the end of the day, happy mummy = happy children so do whatever you think best, trust your instinct

hun
x

I don't see a problem with it TBH

my dd loved our daily trips to yates wine lodge when she was a baby I used to dip her dummy in port. It didn't do her any harm she has got a BA Hons and is training to be a WAG.

Is hun swearing? Did she just fecking bloody wanking swear at me? AT ME? Don't fecking swear at me love, I'll scratch yer eyes out.

itch!

yeah.. but no.. but yeah.. but..

sorry
I wuz provoked

look hun, ur bubs so u kno best innit enjoy ya nite out xxx

Now girls. This is getting out of hand. Let's talk about something nice, like nappies.
What brand do you use? I like snuggiewuggies but they're a shocking price in Waitrose, so I might have to go back to using Happycampers.....

Coll me old mate, who are you angry with?
Think its best if you headed off down the pub to calm yourself with a few pints of Strongbow..
We'll keep an eye on the kids from here, ok?

Stick your provoke up yer anal - what is it a new fruit based drink or wot?

If I wanna get steamed and fucked, there ain't no kid gonna stop me. They shouldn't have gone and put themselves in there should they? If I didn't ha kids, none of this would be an issue right?

So anyways I'm meeting with my friend Baz who might gi'us a bit of crack in exchange for one.

Bless you, you're a great mum .... and there's me thinking the youngsters of today were no good.

aye well they're good for swapping for fags like.

well make sure he don't rip u off love, i mean u should get quite a bit if ur gonna give him a whole child

Coll, you like custard with that?