to hate eating out with a baby and a toddler?

[migandtig]

I have DS1 2.4 and DS2 11 weeks. My kids are the only ones of thier generation so the rest of the family tend to carry on with 'grown up' things. Personally I hate going to restaurants and find the whole thing strssfull. DS1 will be bored in 5 mins, and DS2 gets fretty in the evenings.
DH has told me my negativity is draining and we never go out...
I know I'm a sleep deprived miserable cow, but I can't be on my own...??

YANBU if your family expect you to take the DCs with you! You need a babysitter and a night off if so!

And your family (or DP's family) need to start thinking of some more child-friendly activities. it's fine to make do every now and then, but they could bring things to your children's level on occasion. Maybe suggest an outing which will be suitable for them, and point out that their young relatives are members of the family too if they don't immediately catch on. There's no reason they should be left out because of their age. My extended family often have gatherings in hired halls, but they make sure the atmosphere is suitable for all, right down to the young babies. Much better than sitting up at a restaurant, though admittedly there often get to be nearly a hundred people at the big events.

YANBU

YANBU I have one dc 2.11 and its a nightmare, i hate it, though she is getting a little better with age.

I hear you. When we had our first two it was the same situation...the rest of the extended family expected us to carry on as normal with doing "grown up" outings to restaurants etc. Incredibly stressful. I remember one incident at a busy restaurant involving a cross, hot baby a poopy diaper and no change facilities. Let the fun begin!
I used to get particularly frustrated because no one would ever offer to hold the baby (grandparents, aunts, uncles etc) and quite often you would leave the restaurant without eating or drinking anything or having a word of conversation with anybody. Eventually we realized that these type of outings just don't work with more than two very small kids. We now just bow out or invite everyone over to our place for take-out. Then when the little ones get antsy you can pop on a video/put them to bed and then go back to your family and friends. The hired hall is a good idea for large gatherings as they are bit more conducive to restless children than restaurants are. Hang in there!

Riven 8 years not eating out with kids! maybe it was right for you, but many people couldn't I know I couldn't. (I tried to stop my hand typing that but could not resist.

I enjoy eating out with my 2.5 year old now in appropriate places that are more geared up for children, but when DC2 arrives later this year it's going to be quite a while before we head out to eat again. When I go out for dinner (anywhere) I really appreciate being able to:

1. eat my food when it arrives and is still hot
2. have an uninterrupted conversation with the person/people I've gone out with
3. not worry about dealing with tiny people toilet runs/snotty noses/tantrums/inappropriate exclamations (we're going through a 'boobies!' phase at the moment)
4. not have to worry about leaving for bedtime or ending up with an overwrought and overtired child

I really don't see how any of the above are achieveable with two littlies of the age you have (or I will have later this year).

FWIW, I don't think you're being negative, you're just being realistic. If it's stressful don't go to the family events and ask them to babysit for you so that you and DH can go out to dinner on your own instead

I do it all the time, but because I want it.
YANBU to not want to, YANBU to not do it, but YABU if you stray over into saying its not possible for anyone.

Just don't do it, I wouldn't.

And tbh I don't think that adults should have to forego pleasant restaurant trips becuase they have small relatives. You either need a babysitter, or go on your own and leave the kids with DH.

I wouldn't want to have to do a 'child friendly activity' so that the minority group in the extended family would be the focus.

Yanbu I have dc 3.5 and 1.5 and find it very stressful. Mil ideas of table manners don't fit with ds 3.5s and as I spend everyday of my life encouraging him to use cutlery on a trip out I don't really want to fuss.

Love going out and so does ds but I do find quite stessful.

I'd invite them round for take away till you feel more able to manage

YANBU.

YBH I find that having a toddler and a baby dangling around my neck tends to suck the joy from most activities I used to enjoy.

I am planning a renaissance in about 10 years.

same here my DS1 is 4 and DS2 is 22 months and eating out with them is not appetising to say the least..i get put off my food as they get bored , won't eat what they asked for and start fretting and fighting as soon as DH and I consider eating our meal..so much so wehn we went on holiday i got so fed up we started bringin take wau food home to our hotel! I agree I would prefer to eat out with DH alone and would do so if possible. My eldest will touch and investigate everything on the table from the cutlery to the cloth and so i have to keep warding him off and then there is the famous want to wee thing where you are just starting to enjoy the taste of the food in your mouth or so you think! sigh...i am now quite convinced restuarnats are NOT for those with under fives like mine unles they are magically well behaved and can sit still and eat as one does at these places

Eating out with a toddler who does not enjoy sitting dissecting finger food for hours is a complete misery. I did it v rarely with DS. Get a babysitter.
On hol, we used to take him out with us asleep in his buggy - that was OK. And a baby OK, if asleep. But a toddler and a baby? Hardly relaxing or pleasurabl, IME / IMO.

I like eating out just me, DH and the kids (mine are 5 yrs and 1 yr, and we have always done so). Also with close family, like my mum, sister, DH's brothers etc. They help out, there are no impossible expectations of perfect behaviour and stimulating conversation - we all just muck in, chow down and have a laugh.

If we are with friends or in other company, I find it slightly more stressful.

YANBU

MorrisZapp Iam not stalking you, but well said again I like finding a mnetter I can agree with on at least 2 issues. You are spot on with your last comment,

Its painful but the more you do it the better it gets. At night though, dont feel obliged. The occasional Sunday lunch somewhere, feel the fear and do it anyway.

Riven sorry and tons of love re you dd I caught your post on the ODD thread and it all makes sense, sorry to be so bloody insensitive.

Thank God it's not just me. I now need to stop my very laid back DH thinking it's all just a breeze, and stop pressuring me into going...

We go out for lunch as that is manageable but eating out in the evening with 2 DC under the age of 4 - never happens as it would be too much of a nightmare.
WE go out for lunch about once a month and have found a handful of places that work for us, i.e. they bring food quickly and have child friendly staff. They also do ffood that our kids will happily eat that isnt chicken nuggets and chips etc which doesn't give them a proper experience of eating out.

yanbu....it is exhausted, but give yourself a break, the little one is a bit young!! however the more often you do it, the more they will get used to it and grow up with it, and be well behaved in restaurants, i reckon!
lunch is do-able, but anything after 7 or 8 is too much

Lunch is sometimes doable (and the gruffalo jigsaw books are perfect for containig bored toddlers) but dinner - god no.

Yanbu.

Lunchtimes are a reasonable possibility, but no way would I take ds out for dinner. He is knackered and a pita.