to think visiting family shouldn't spend 2 hours sitting reading the newspaper?

[deaconblue]

In laws were here for the weekend. They only see our dc's every 2-3 months and apparently were really looking forward to seeing them. It really annoyed me when they spent 2 hours yesterday afternoon sitting reading the paper from cover to cover while the children tried to get their attention. It's rude to sit and read the paper at someone else's house isn't it or am IBU?

I love readingthe papers at the weekend.

It was two hours. Were they attentive to the children for the rest of the weekend?

I read the paper wherever i go-lovely to be surrounded by those you care for while immersed in Knobserver or similar, steaming pot of tea by side.

FIL spends the whole tie we visit him in another room, watching TV or reading papers.

I like it too pag, but when we have people to visit who we haven't seen for a while I tend to think you put the regular things you do on hold for a day or two. I mean, I dont sit and watch True Blood all day when PIL come, even though I like doing that when I'm at home normally. Its polite, and after all, you want to see family, no?

My FIL does this too, and he sees the GCs less than yours do. And he's not particulary attentive to them the rest of the time when we see him either. So YANBU.

They were attentive in short periods providing thet didn't need to lift their butts off the sofa at all. they tend to arrive, eat, drink copious cups of tea wile glued to the sofa

while

I don't have the tv on when people are over , but curling up on the sofa with a big pot of coffee is part of Sunday isn't it.

Obviously if the only other thing you do is eat or watch telly then maybe no. But last weekend we went to friends - had lunch followed by very long walk with dogs then home to fire, papers and coffee.
Very civilized in my book

what did you offer as entertainment shopping?

Were they refusing to do the things on offer?

My dad does this most weekends, he comes over at 6pm reads the paper whilst he dd's try to grab his attention and then (when he has finished) the girls have gone to bed and he say's 'oh ,have they gone to bed already?' .

TBH it really p*sses me off, he could read the paper at home.

I think it is quite rude in the circumstances.

The most interaction that my friend's FIL had with his GCs was to tell them to shift out of the way of the TV so he could see the footie!

I NEVER get to read the paper at home, so when i go to MILs i quite often curl up on the sofa and read them Its like my minibreak!! 9yes, i am aware i have a sad life!!)

Its very civilised and I would love to have 2 hours to read the paper, but with young DCs, thats a pipe dream at the moment. And if grandparents are visiting for the weekend, I think its very off to spend 2 hours of a relatively short day when the little ones are up and around reading the papers. They could wait until they are napping or in bed, no?

I don't MN when I visit them or when they visit us. Even though I am desperate to. It would be seen as rude, I would imagine.

I'd be annoyed because I'd want to be the one reading the paper.

YANBU - it would annoy me, especially if your kids are very young and the visitors are in their prime, so to speak.
If they're a bit older (either the kids or the visitors!), then it's probably not unreasonable to sit for a bit and read the paper.
I think people often don't 'get' that it's fab for the parents if visitors play with and entertain the kids, rather than behave as visitors and expect to be waited upon. Maybe tell them how excellent it is when they play with the kids and how amazing it would be for you as parents to have some time off to read the papers on a weekend.

What said said, surely the whole point of having family visitors is so that the kid(s) hassle them and you can therefore read the paper cover to cover for a change?

But we need more info

My mum is in her 70's and when she comes to stay she gives the children loads of attention. But she likes her routine and as she spends most of her life in a very quiet house it is actually very tiring for her to be thrown into the noise and activity of this house.
So she plays with the Dcs a bit, we go for a walk, we have
cakes, we have a laugh - but she has down time to stop her getting too knackered and over whelmed.

Are the GPs like this or are we talking a pair of lazy 50 somethings only over for an afternoon who just can't be bothered?
when I am a guest at someones house I expect to be allowed to chill as part of the visit and I include down time as a host

I think YABU, why should visitors act as babysitters for the entire time they are with you? If the children were bored you could have taken them out for a walk or something.

I agree that more info is required.

mp, theres a difference though between GPs ignoring children who just want to play with them for a while and expecting them to babysit. We don't expect IL's to do the child watching for us while they are here, but more than a cursory glace away from the television/paper would be nice.

As far as FIL is concerned, when he is at our house, he is a guest so he should be able to relax and when he is at his house he is in his own house and he should be able to relax. Therefore he never joins in with anything or enjoys anything. I have come to the conclusion that he is trying to tell us something

I heart my MIL! When she visits she cooks and plays with DC. She even gets up with DD and lets DH and I sleep in. Am at a loss when she goes home. My GPs were the same when I was little. Hope I'll be as good as they are!

Old people like to have thier routines.

My parents love thier grandchildren and love to do things with them, but they still have their personal routines that they like to stick to.

dad always has to read the paper in the morning, aftre walking the dogs.

Mum has to have an hour every morning to do her hair etc.

in the evening dad reads and is not interested in any conversation with anyone.

Between these times the are sociable and interactive.

To expect full on 24hr dotingness from GP's is BU.
2 hours in the day interacting is good going, 2 hours doing an relaxing enjoyable activity you enjoy separate from the children seems fair enough.

Expectations for GP's are SO high!!

Your title made me smile, when DD was 5 her and her Gramps used to read the local paper together to help with her reading.Dd became an avid local rag reader whilst visiting him. Her Gramps died when she was 10 and one of her fondest memories of him is fighting over who read the local paper first when it was delivered. So you could say my DD was the visitor who read the paper for hours ignoring others

Brideshead....yeah I wish! 2 hours! FIL doesnt spend that long interacting with the 4 of us put together over the course of a long weekend visiting them and that includes copious time moaning about the immigrants and non-existant Arabs in the community.