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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be VERY annoyed every time he does this?

48 replies

heQet · 27/02/2010 19:59

He's just done it again - my husband I mean - He's going upstairs to watch the news. On his way out, he turned off the light.

On the grounds that it's more relaxing.

HE finds it more relaxing to have the main light off. I don't like it. The kids don't care one way or the other!

HE'S going upstairs! He won't even be in the frigging ROOM! So why turn off the light and leave the room?

And every time he does it and I say why did you do that? You're going upstairs? He says oh, I thought you'd prefer the light off.

And I say - every time - No, I don't like the light off. I always tell you I don't like the light off.

And he says...

I know.

W. T. F.
?????

AAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH

OP posts:
ohnelly · 27/02/2010 20:01

I would go upstairs & turn the tv off - dont say a word then come back down again!

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 27/02/2010 20:01

Pavlov him - beat him with a stick every time he does it and he'll soon stop

AAAARGH on your behalf.

AshleyFanjo · 27/02/2010 20:02

That is really odd, does he think its funny?

mathanxiety · 27/02/2010 20:02

Ask him how relaxed you look with steam coming out your ears from annoyance and your teeth making that grinding sound, and express the hope he'll find it relaxing to sleep on the couch if he turns off the light again?

Vinomum · 27/02/2010 20:02

DH's dad used to do this. Nothing to do with relaxing - just to save money, he was a total cheapskate (god rest his soul). Used to drive us all mad - bloody sit in the dark if you want to, but don't make us!!

ChasingSquirrels · 27/02/2010 20:03

ehhh - I'd hit the roof.

Original poster
heQet · 27/02/2010 20:05

Ohnelly, I like that! Turn it off on the grouds that I'm not watching it

Also loving the pavlov suggestion

Ashley - no it's not his idea of a joke - he really does turn it off because he likes the light off. The fact that a) he's going OUT of the room and b) I don't like the light off just seems to escape him

And it's only when I say - AGAIN - that I don't like the light off, that something seems to click and he says, I know - in a sort of only just realising / remembering way.

It's such a trivial little thing but it drives me BONKERS!!

OP posts:
PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 27/02/2010 20:09

you could also take tips from toddler behaviour - have a total meltdown when he does it, and scream 'light on light on light on light on (x infinity' until he gives in.

(can you tell I have a 2yo?)

ChasingSquirrels · 27/02/2010 20:09

I don't actually think it is that trivial.
If he turned it off when he came into the room, because he liked it off I could understand, although it would still annoy me.
But to turn it off when he leaves and you are still in the room...
But presumably this has been going on for quite some time?

herbietea · 27/02/2010 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
heQet · 27/02/2010 20:13

Oh yes. 12 years! It's not just when he leaves - he likes it off when he's in the room too, if he's watching tv. It just happened to be on.

It's like because he likes it off, even though I have said time after time after time that I don't like it off, he still turns it off like it's some sort of nice thing to do. I can't really explain it. He thinks I'll like it off. Even though he knows I don't

Does that make any sense?

OP posts:
Original poster
heQet · 27/02/2010 20:15

You all have such great suggestions I think I am going to have to do them in rotation!

OP posts:
EccentricaGallumbits · 27/02/2010 20:17

Fecking DH does tis. I have over the years amassed so many lamps that even when he turns off the proper light I am still well lit grin]

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 27/02/2010 20:19

Hec - I remember you talking about this before and how mad it made you - must have been ages ago now!

I deliberately leave all the lights on because it drives DP bonkers - am I just as bad

ChasingSquirrels · 27/02/2010 20:19

have you ever hit the roof about it? In such a way that he WON'T forget!

Original poster
heQet · 27/02/2010 20:22

Have I ranted about it before, Pure? sorry.

And yes, you are!!!

Ecc - I may invest in a torch

CS - no, because it seems so petty iyswim. Getting properly cross because of turning off a light, it would make me seem a loon!

More of a loon.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 27/02/2010 20:25
AshleyFanjo · 27/02/2010 20:28

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow has the best idea.

Much better than how I would have reacted - you are trying to undermine me, why are your needs more important than mine, oh I didn't realise I was such an imposition to your household shall I got to bed now and sit in the dark etc etc etc

I think the 2 year old "lightonlightonlighton" will have the desired effect without the causing an argument!

Original poster
heQet · 27/02/2010 20:30

lightonlightonlightON

OP posts:
MamaLazarou · 27/02/2010 20:32

Next time he says, 'I'm going upstairs to watch the news', perhaps you could say, 'OK darling. Please don't switch the light off'.

That's what I would do.

pookey · 27/02/2010 20:40

ooh yes Mama that will wind him up but is totally unobjectionable.

Dp does something sort of similar he will switch lamps on and turn the main light off without asking when I am reading, I always feel annoyed about this. His logic is it doesnt make sense to have 8 spotlights on but he was the one who insisted on getting the b*** spotlights that he now refuses to use!

Lucyellensmumma · 27/02/2010 20:54

My DP has to put the TV on the minute he walks into a room - it drives me nuts, if im not watching it its annoying. He does it with the radio in the kitchen to, he might only be going out there to get a glass of water, then he leaves the fucking thing on

Conclusion: Men are weirdos

CornishKK · 27/02/2010 20:55

My DH does this with the heating if he goes to bed before me. I told him that his actions indicated that he believed I was a second class citizen in the house and not worthy of heating. I don't think he was listening. The next time I went with the "touch that farking thermostat your arm gets broke" approach. He has been much more understanding of my needs since then.

kslatts · 27/02/2010 21:42

I have the light on and every evening DH comes home and as he walks into the living room turns the light off and says 'what have you got the light on for?' really annoys me, he likes the light off and I like it on so we have now compromised by buying a lamp.

If dh did it going out of the room I would wait for about 5 mins go up to the bedroom and then as I was leaving turn the light on and come downstairs.

YANBU.

Patch66 · 27/02/2010 21:57

My dh is the same as lucyellensmumma's with the radio. It's on in every room he has been in. And its on at high volume. He's not quite so bad with the TV, but it does go on a lot. Kids ask for it on and it stays on for hours. Makes me very cross.