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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is body toner an unacceptable present for a 9 year old girl?

32 replies

cath13 · 26/02/2010 17:23

Am I being unreasonable in thinking that my daughter receiving body toner and fake suntan cream from her aunty as a birthday present at 9 is inappropriate? She is already an extremely thin lil girl and Im at a loss at what to get her to write in the thank you card...

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 26/02/2010 17:25

Just write "Thankyou for the gift" and pass it on to somebody else who is fat and pasty. It sounds like she has just recycled something from Christmas.

Sekhmet · 26/02/2010 17:27

no, you're not, that's odd! It's not someone else's birthday around now too is it? Has a 32 year old ended up with a barbie maybe? A present mix up type thing?

yellowcircle · 26/02/2010 17:27

I don't think it is acceptable, no. I don't even know what body toner is so I have obviously never used it. I think we as a society put way too much stuff on our bodies and fake tan at 9 is just encouraging her to be image obsessed IMO.

I wouldn't rock the boat with aunty, I'd just say thanks for my present and put some news in the thank you card.

brimfull · 26/02/2010 17:28

very odd present for child

what is body toner anywya

MrsMontague · 26/02/2010 17:28

Oh my gosh, that is so unappropriate. I hate that kind of thing, it is making young girls to appearance aware. My aunty bought my 10yo cousin (real) extensions, heels and bronzer for her birthday. I kid you not. The day after her birthday was spent in casualty with a broken ankle .

MrsMontague · 26/02/2010 17:30

Inappropriate, that should have said.

muggglewump · 26/02/2010 17:34

I agree with BOF re the card. Thank you for the gift, will suffice.

It doesn't sound appropriate, no, but then my DD had tried all of those things by the time she was 2.
Not fully made up, I hasten to add, but a blob of fake tan on her leg, one fake nail put on, a wipe of foundation over her cheek.

She's an only, and I'm a lone parent, no one could tell she had this stuff on, and she was desperate to be like Mum.

I wouldn't buy it for someone else's child though, nor put it on them.

Original poster
cath13 · 02/03/2010 11:31

I dont mind if she wants to try things of mine but as a present from a mother of an 8 year old to my nine year old, i think its just wrong

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 02/03/2010 11:33

It is inappropriate.

Just write thanks for the gift, quick blurb about lovely day had, etc.

ladyJ554 · 02/03/2010 11:37

That is strange and unacceptable. i would say to the aunt that body toner and suntan cream are not something you buy a 9 year old.

If you dont say anything the aunt might tthink that you like that sort of stuff and buy your daughter more.

Blu · 02/03/2010 11:41

YANBU.
"thank you for giving me a birthday present' is enough...then say to the Aunt'we might have to save those until she is a teenager or a real grown-up'>

Fennel · 02/03/2010 11:43

Definitely unacceptable. But I also find nail parties, hair parties, twinkly fairy princess parties and photo/make-up parties unacceptable.
Luckily my dds agree. We're a scruffy lot.

OtterInaSkoda · 02/03/2010 11:47

It's a bit on an odd choice, agreed. I do know a 9yo that I'd happily buy cosmetics for (decent nail polish, perhaps some Candy Fluff or whatever) but then she's extraordinarily cool in an unconventional, artsy way, as is her mother.

I wouldn't choose fake tan though, and I wouldn't buy that kind of thing for any child unless I knew their mum or dad would be OK with it.

Greensleeves · 02/03/2010 11:56

daft present for anyone if you ask me - life is too short to smear yourself with overpriced unguents

just thinking about my friend's 9yo dd though - she would be completely underwhelmed by this and rightly so

I would bin it or give it to a charity shop

Francagoestohollywood · 02/03/2010 11:59

Totally unacceptable. Do 9 yr old know what a body toner is btw?

Original poster
cath13 · 02/03/2010 12:33

No she has no idea what body toner is and said mum whats body toner for? i could only reply, not for children and definately not for you! At 9 she weighs 3st 6.

OP posts:
mamsnet · 02/03/2010 12:36

I would be very tempted to ask giver if she hadn't mixed my 9 year old's present up with somebody else's..

This has made me very actually and rather at aunty..

Original poster
cath13 · 02/03/2010 12:42

We're sis in laws and dont really get on and she tends to give her THE most absurd gifts (all recycled I presume),its infuriating as they are well off and have a huge house and all the trappings, give her nieces/nephews bikes etc and for christmas my dd got a bag of bathsalts with a hole in it so when she opened the present it poured all over my new white carpet!

OP posts:
dinkystinky · 02/03/2010 12:48

Totally inappropriate. Just do a thank you for my gift message in the card and give away the body toner and fake tan!

OtterInaSkoda · 02/03/2010 12:49

The more I think about it (assuming the body toner is some kind of anti-cellulite bollocks) the more I think the aunt gave this in error.

No 9 yo is going to be interested in this, surely? A lipgloss or some of that glittery Lush stuff I linked to, yes. Or some bubble bath or even some scented body lotion. But not that. She may as well have given her a bottle of Clearasil.

OtterInaSkoda · 02/03/2010 12:52

x-posted. Your sil is just tight. She's given your dd something she won in a school raffle or that someone gave to her.

Journey · 02/03/2010 13:01

I'd write back and say "thank you for the present you gave me of fake tan and body toner. I didn't expect to get a present on my daughter's birthday!. My daughter says thank you for the card."

OtterInaSkoda · 02/03/2010 13:09

@ journey

swanandduck · 02/03/2010 13:14

I agree with Sekhmet. There is probably an adult out there wondering why their friend gave them a jigsaw puzzle and a bratz hairband for their birthday.

Ingles2 · 02/03/2010 13:21

Tight wad!
I'd either return the present to her on her birthday...
or get dd to write a card saying...
Dear Auntie...
Thankyou very much for the present. Mummy likes it very much. She says she is looking forward to using it as I am I'm much too young for fake tan.
Love
DD