to think I'm allowed a bit of a break

[Pennies]

Last monday I had a double mastectomy as I have breast cancer. My PILs have been staying whilst I'm recouperating so I can rest and my MIL can act as my chauffeur.

I spent a week in hospital whilst my two were on half term. Since coming out I have managed to grab two x 1 hour naps during the daytime. I barely sleep at night due to pain and the fact I can't lie on my front at all. Beyond that they've left me alone in the house with an ill DD who I can't pick up, I've had bring their food to them at the table, do the washing, make dinner, do the bathtime routine, get the kids up, take DD2 swimming. Tonight I've been doing dinner and laundry whilst they sit on their arses watching TV.

DDS aged 4 & 5 so it's not like I can just tell them and they get on with it.

Surely this is my time to sit on my arse?

I'm really cross on your behalf . How can they just sit there and let you cook and tidy up?! Lazy lazy arses.
Can you drop some major hints today about how unhelpful they are being? Things like 'would you mind helping with dinner please? I've over done things in the last few days and think I need to sit down for a bit now' etc
Sounds like you'd be better off without them there! Does your DH know how spectactularly unhelpful they have been for you this week??

Odd socks sounds good!

You could also leave this thread printed out around the house in the hope they see it

Hope everything goes well with the draining, physio and oncologist this afternoon.

Pennies my dh is 73.When I had bc he was 70 but he did all the cooking,washing,most of the cleaning and all of the shopping for 6 months until after chemo.I only had a wle not mastectomy.Your dh needs to send them home imho or at the very least insist they give you a couple of hours rest in bed in the middle of the day.

So you are in the final strait to a PITA PIL-free house....

Am livid on your behalf... I hope that DH can give them a bit of a talking to on your behalf. In future don't let them 'help' again. Insist upon it, and if they press you for an explanation, bloody tell them. Unforgivable, how do those people actually sleep at night?

Sending you over virtual claridges champagne and nibbles from my imaginary suite on the top floor.... [sighs]

I'd book myself into a hotel for a couple of days and live off room service if I were you, you've been through major surgery. Your DH should grow some bollocks and either send them home or get them to help rather then hinder. Your nanny sounds fab.

I really do hope you have managed to rest today.

Well, they left this morning. MIL was all stroppy this morning and tearful because DH had not shown her sympathy when she said she was tired.

I did feel a bit guilty TBH. I have been making a good recovery and have been much more active and able than I thought I would be and maybe they didn't want to stop me in my stride.

DH has to go away the week I start my chemo which isn't ideal, despite the nanny being on duty 12 hours a day. I need someone in case I'm sick at night or anything so I kind of have to ask my mum (clinically depressed chain smoker). Gah!!!

I'm so angry and upset for you

You've had a major opperation and need to rest and recover. I can't believe they expect things doing for THEM! WTF is wrong with them?!

I'm so on your behalf.
Your DH and PIL should be ashamed of themselves, especially your DH.

at brass neck of some people.

Your DH should have sent them home early.

This advice might be a bit too late but I had a similar situation with my mum who came to help after my c-section. Basically, I found if I came downstairs, even if it were just to lie on the sofa to feed my newborn and have some company and feel part of the family, I'd end up doing everything because I was downstairs in the thick of it all and therefore an easier target.

Whereas, if I took to my bed upstairs, I could still feed and tend to my newborn, my son could still come and go and have my company, but I didn't end up doing all the other bullshit (sorry!) my mum was perfectly capable of doing herself, like loading the washing machine and putting various pots and pans away (if I was upstairs, she'd leave them on the kitchen table - which is fine! It doesn't really matter if they are properly away or not if there's bigger things going on hey?) Oh, and she'd make a normal plunger coffee for herself instead of insist I make her a skinny-latte

Bless her - she travelled far to be of help and I'm grateful. But in the 6 weeks she was here, she didn't learn how DS's car seat worked, how to do the washing machine, how to do a latte, and made me fire my cleaning company for the time she was here because "she'd do it and I dont want them in our way" and then proceeed not to do it.

So I do know where you are coming from. I sound ungrateful, I know. She didn't do nothing. She just didn't do all that much and at the end of the day you are having to see to that person as well so sometimes its questionable how much help they are when big things are going on.

I do hope things get better for you and that you make a swift and rapid recovery regardless of how much rest you get. See to it that you get some and try not to stew over it if you dont get enough - just make it happen without the aggro if at all possible x