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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that pubs are no place for kids

105 replies

swanandduck · 24/02/2010 15:24

Dropped into a pub at about 3am last Sat for a late lunch on way home from funeral. The place was full of children whose parents were drinking and watching telly while the kids ran around. Surely there are better things to do with children at the weekend than plonking them in a corner with a bottle of pop and a packet of crisps while you watch the sports on a big screen.

OP posts:
Madsometimes · 25/02/2010 13:25

YANBU - Adults need places to relax too.

I am not against children being in pubs, I have often taken mine for a pub lunch. However, I do not take my dc to the pub if we are not eating, and they are 9 and 6 so not toddlers or babies.

Pubs which do allow children should have a dedicated family bar, which would normally also contain a restaurant area. There should be a separate bar for adults only. Children running around in pubs or restaurants is totally unacceptable too. Some pubs have play areas, and I have no problem with children running around in these, but not in a general eating/drinking area.

I am very old fashioned.

luluvalentine · 25/02/2010 13:39

I dont mind kids in pubs as long as the parents dont think I am a free babysitting service cos their kids come over to talk to mine - yes this happens frequently and not in a oh its just kids socialising way but in a - I cant find your parents way as no one seems to be taking interested
and no I cant buy you a drink as I dont know what you are allowed
and no you cant come with us as we are going home
and eventually when you are really beginning to think the 4 yr old is in the pub alone - suddenly they go over to a couple sitting in a corner who have made no eye contact with me or attempt to see if I am a raving loon before allowing their child to hang around me all day.
oh unless they come over and wipe cheese and onion crisps on my leg - eugh barf- its the worst kind of stinky hello from a child- think would prefer bogies

islandofsodor · 25/02/2010 13:47

The pub I am talking about is also run by my Dad's next door neighbour so the kids are most definately encouraged!!

thesecondcoming · 25/02/2010 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lilmissmummy · 25/02/2010 14:09

YANBU Like madsometimes I do not take my children to a pub unless we are eating and would not have a drink whilst they are around. They would also not be allowed to run around in a pub unless there was an specific play area for them to be. My dc are 8 and 5. There are better places for them to be than in a pub surrounded by people getting drunk.

I dont believe that children and alcohol should mix and even when I am at home would not have a drink until they are in bed in case something happens to them.

I know that I am probably an overprotective parent and I have had bad experience with alcohol so I think that makes me quite anti-alcohol around children.

runnybottom · 25/02/2010 14:32

you are of course entitled to your opinion tsc (and agreeing folk), but the salient point is whether the management of the pub allow children.

If the pub is deemed by the owners/mgmt not to be an exclusively adult space, your assessment of it is rather immaterial in practice. Its not a matter of kids taking over or adults being precious about taking their kids everywhere,I entirely agree that much of the time its inappropriate, but individual opinions matter little in practice.

if the pub allows children and you don't like it, you have the choice to go somewhere else. Its not much good complaining about it while choosing to be somewhere the decision has already been made. Why waste your energy?

Sidge · 25/02/2010 16:11

I'm not a fan of children being in pubs. To me, the whole point of a pub is somewhere for adults to go to drink alcohol. IMO this whole all day opening, turning pubs into family places where there are play areas and huge TVs is a bit sad. No wonder we have such an alcohol-centric society.

Not including of course those 'gastro-pubs' which aren't really pubs at all but restaurants that happen to serve alcohol all day long.

But then I'm a boring old fart who thinks if your social life consists of sitting in a pub all weekend drinking you need to get a life, maybe one that involves your children a bit more and alcohol a bit less.

mamsnet · 25/02/2010 17:07

Pub means public house, you know?

Maybe I'm harping on here (or isn't that what MN is for?)

But Again, what the hell is the problem with a family being in a pub together, with children and adults socialising together.. and perish the thought! The adults might even be enjoying a civilised pint...

If pubs and having a sociable drink were considered more normal in this society we might ONE DAY have people who could go out, meet people, have a chat and a laugh

without

getting

shitfaced

PeedOffWithNits · 25/02/2010 17:23

I did not think kids were allowed in pubs unless eating a meal with their family or attending a private do in a function room??

Sidge · 25/02/2010 17:33

But mamsnet it's also possible to go out, meet people, have a chat and a laugh without drinking alcohol at all, let alone getting shitfaced.

I suppose that's what I don't understand, the need to encourage children into a socialising culture where drinking alcohol is seen as the focus. And essentially that's what pubs are for - drinking alcohol.

runnybottom · 25/02/2010 17:45

And it is also possible to have a civilized afternoon in the pub without getting drunk. You can go to the pub and drink soft drinks. I hear some even do coffee.

mamsnet · 25/02/2010 17:53

YOu see that's where you and I differ Sidge, When I say a pint I could just have easily said a coke, a coffee, soup and sandwiches after a long walk etc..

I just like the pub..

I like the idea of a place where the fire is lighting and I can sit down and chat..

MrsChemist · 25/02/2010 18:07

Depends on the pub. I was a supervisor (currently on mat leave) of a pub that didn't allow children in. We served food (serving food is not an indication of whether children are welcome), and it was a very chilled, modern, relaxing place and I think a lot of people went there because they knew it was over 18s only.

However, if the management want families in their pubs, and provide for them (i.e. kids' menu, high chairs, changing facilities etc.) then YABU. It's up the the pub manager to decide on the "feel" of their pub. Some see the benefits of providing for families, some feel that they want a more adult atmosphere.

Also, as an aside, if there are no outward signs that pubs allow under 18s in them, it is always polite to ask the staff if children are welcome.

Sidge · 25/02/2010 20:05

You must have nicer pubs where you are mamsnet - just about all of ones round here are shite

ChezzaB · 25/02/2010 20:59

Went out on Friday and went into pub in town centre at bout 10.30pm and there is a pram in there I thought I was seeing things but lo and behold there is a 4mo baby in said pram! Parents and grandparents of baby all drinking alcohol and acting all proud at the fact that baby had slept through all the loud music etc!! In the end the police turned up and asked them to leave as they had had lots of complaints! I thought this was well out of order!!!

ILIVEONBENEFITS · 25/02/2010 22:19

What...you thought asking them to leave was well out of order or the lots of complaints?

ChezzaB · 25/02/2010 22:24

No sorry I thought it was out of order to have the baby in there!!1 Sorry reading that back it does sound like I was saying that it was ok for them to be there!!

WibbleDribble · 25/02/2010 23:03

Kids have ball pits and soft play areas. Pubs are for adult entertainment where I would expect swearing and drunkenesss (By pubs I mean your proper British boozer, not these Harvester type establishments). These days some people seem to think that kids should have the right to access all areas of adult life. I may sound like an old fart here but a typical childhood is much shorter now than when I was growing up in the 70's. I say hooray for Lego, climbing trees and splashing in puddles - I know what I'd prefer my kids to do on a Saturday afternoon

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 25/02/2010 23:14

No ball pits or soft play areas where I live. And everyone I know who grew up in the 70s remembers their Dad going to pubs of a weekend afternoon; they just got left in the car with a bag of crisps.

Whoamireally · 27/02/2010 13:48

Yeah, I remember having to go to work with my mum who worked in a pub at the weekends to earn extra cash, and me and my sister would sit in the car all day with crisps and pop and thought it was great! Occasionally we'd get out of the car and go and play on the grass at the side, leaving the car unlocked Organised childcare as we know it now just didn't exist.

I s'pose they'd call that neglect these days wouldn't they - but we just thought it was fun!

redroof · 28/02/2010 00:14

Swanandduck- I totally agree with your opinion. I'm hoping the majority that disagree have misunderstood your question.
There are some lovely homely pubs that are a nice environment for having a meal with the children and enjoy a glass or two of wine in a separate eating area.
Apart from that, I do believe a pub should be an adult environment, and a place for us to go to drink and socialise without our children.

There have been too many occasions when I've been shocked senseless by drunk parents' afternoon drinking sessions with children in tow.

cory · 28/02/2010 00:57

But if parents have a drinks problem, why would banning families from the pub solve anything for the children? They'd just be watching their parents getting drunk at home instead. Or do you seriously think people with a drinks problem can't find their way to the off-licence? My dh spent many a boring Sunday afternoon watching his parents and grandparents snoring over their booze.

Tortington · 28/02/2010 01:01

i'm astounded at how many parents do things with their kids a weekend. i was either studying or just plain knackered - a trip to boring old town centre in wind and rain was the most i could muster, an occasional trip to the pub would have been light relief all round

Chellesgirl · 28/02/2010 01:24

Swanduck I find the comment about the 'chavvyness' of the people that are bringing thier kids to the pub pretty offensive. Though I somehwat hope you were joking

From my experience I loved going to the pub with my mum and dad of a friday...they would play darts, pool, do kareoke, while us children in our tracksuits would drink coca cola and have maccoys while playing accy123 or hide n seek somewhere in the pub. Our local had a playground outside and sometimes in good weather a bouncy castle...sometimes my dad and my granddad would get merry and to us children it was 'funny'. Going to the pub was time spent with our family, I loved playing on the gambling machines with my uncle and winning 'his' money.
It has now become even better for kids to spend the afternoon at the pub..as its smoke free. And I am pleased to say that I love going to my local now with my friends, I do not drink and dont intend to, I think the pubs for me were exciting, I got to learn how to play pool, as I got older its where Id secretly eye up the lads without my parent noticing and its where I get my love for the 'night life' now...it hasnt harmed me in any way.

My friends mum runs a pub...her dc's were always running about the place, its never harmed then and none of her 4 boys are drinkers.

Vinomum · 28/02/2010 09:13

I agree with you SwanandDuck. I think it's absolutely OK to take your kids for a family pub lunch to a pub that specifically caters for children as long as the parents supervise their DCs and don't let them run riot - but I don't think that's what you're asking.

I don't think a heavy drinking pub is a place for children at all. Luckily my DH isn't a huge fan of rugby or football but every now and then he likes to go to our local to watch an England game. I would never let him take DCs with him (nor would he want to) as our local is not a place that encourages children, so I'd far rather they stayed with me and we did something they enjoy while DH gets a couple of hours to relax away from children.

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