To feel upset at GP?

[carrierchc]

Had my 6 week check today after having DD3.Her delivery was quite horrible,I pushed for 3 hours then had forceps,basically horrid Dr made me feel really lazy and told me it was not her job to deliver my baby with forceps because I did not feel like pushing it out ( I was exhausted by this point!) So I felt crap and a bit useless.

Anyway GP today said "So you've had THREE forceps deliveries and three big episiotomies, that's not a great result is it?Most people manage to deliver normally after a first forceps delivery!"

I now feel like some sort of childbirth failure! Am probably being sensitive I know.

How insensitive of him! YANBU, should have hit him with the bloody forceps.

YANBU, he sounds like a right wanker

Congrats on DD3, btw

Hope you're recovering well

You poor thing, what an idiot your doctor sounds. And absolute at the dr who delivered you!

FWIW, I've had one episiotomy delivery and two large second-degree tears, absolutely nothing to do with how you push and everything to do with the speed of delivery, position of the baby and your natural shape - all beyond your control and neither 'good' nor 'bad'.

Congratulations on DC3

'It's not by job to deliver your baby with forceps'. Um, actually that is your job love, did they not tell you that at medical school? Best to have made yourself aware of it before you became an obstetrician. Tch, doctors.

As for the GP...ooh, cunt.

was the GP a man? So can sit there smug in the knowledge he'll never have to put his money where his mouth is?
I'd seriously complain about the dr who 'delivered' your baby though. That is the last thing he should be saying to a labouring woman. If all you'd needed was a bit of encouragement then you certainly didn't get it!

"did not feel like pushing it out " ??????

No, because you felt like it staying there and sweating in agony for another few hours. Am very angry on your behalf. Am very on your behalf.

Mind you, I was so angry with the Obstetrician at DS2s birth (she told me to stop making so much noise when I was pushing), that I was feckin well not going to have another EMCS just to spite her.

he sounds like an idiot - the doctor who delivered your baby sounds like she was trying to be funny and failing badly, I doubt she really thought that but still it was an awful thing to say.

clearly, I am very angry on your behalf

YANBU
Sounds like his problem not yours. How a child is born is often not our choice, just be glad your dd is here safely.

Message withdrawn

Did s/he mean it in a nice-ish way do you think? You know, "oh poor you, that's really hard for you. Most women don't have to go through as rough a time as you have for subsequent births"

Not likely I know...!

carrierchc- how are you and the baby now ? Is the birth playing on your mind a lot ? If you need to, I'd really recommend having a debrief about it with a sympathetic midwife who can go through your notes with you. I had this after birth of DS1, which had left me feeling traumatised.

LOL at all the posters who have assumed the offending GP was male and at least one who assumes the other doctor was male too.

hmmmm perhaps OP could please clear up this rather important matter and let all the manhaters outraged members know one way or the other?

We know Obs was a woman.

yes i know we know the OB is a female but one poster in her rush to rage doesn't seem to have read that important bit

Hi, the GP is actually a woman! As was the very young doctor who delivered DD, who also said, when I tried to tell her I could not push any more because I was tired, "Well you're having a baby, you'd better get used to that".My husband nearly decked her.

Thanks for all your supportive replies, I feel better now knowing I'm not being oversensitive!

Jamieandhismagictorch, I was offered the chance to go through my notes with a midwife, I'm not sure whether to do it though as I'm afraid revisiting it might make me feel worse..

Definitely consider going through your notes with the midwife. I did it after v traumatic time with ds1 and it helped me enormously.

Carrierchc's doctors, for example, are twats.

Hope you're recovering okay. You're in no way a failure. Congrats on DD3

Thanks for clearing that up CarrierchcIt's been my experience that female doctors can actually be more insensitive than males especially when dealing with such obviously sensitive subjects as childbirth.

Having been present during every stage of our 6 pregnancies I have witnessed some terrible attitudes and practices and like everyone else I would encourage you to sit down and talk it over and if necessary make a formal complaint.It's absolutely not ok to moan to a patient about having to do your job especially one who has just been through a traumatic experience

Some of these doctors need a bloody kick up the arse..don't get me started....sorry..rant over

No you are not being oversensitive and neither are you a childbearing failure.

Not sure what shape your pelvis is but it could be that you have a slightly different shaped pelvis which lead to your babies lying back to back or in any other slightly altered position which would make labour long and slow or even affect what sensation you had to push.

My sister hs three children - the first was a forceps (back to back position baby), the second an em CS (footling breech) and the third a ventouse as baby would not descend despite excellent pushing (also back to back with her head slightly raised into almost a brow presentation). My sister is fit and active yet all three of her babies sat oddly in the pelvis (as did my son). My Nan had all back labours too (and all hers were laying back to back). I'd go with the slightly different shaped pelvis if asked to guess about why you've needed intervention to give birth.

carrierchc - gosh. I don't know what to advise on that. I went through my notes 2 years later, when I was pg and dreading DS2s birth.

All I can say was, I was glad I did it then, and wish I'd done it earlier, because I carried a lot of guilt about having an EMCS and not being able to breastfeed. It affected my bonding with DS1.

But if you feel it's too early, and you're in the throes of just getting on with a newborn, then maybe wait and see.

Maybe someone else who's had a debrief can advise ....

X posted with TeamEdward JollyPirate - yes, I apparently have an Android pelvis (?), which means both DSs lay the same way