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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that offering scans at a baby show is bloody ridiculous?

52 replies

OtterInaSkoda · 23/02/2010 18:08

Apparently they do this.

You can visit a stand at one of these baby shows and have "your baby's first heartbeats recorded in a teddy to take home forever".

Poster on another forum was surprised that they scanned her as well as using a Doppler, and discovered sadly that she was having a MMC.

Clearly wherever you discover that something is wrong with a pregnancy, it's going to be distressing and traumatic. But AIBU to think that scanning women at shows like this is bloody irresponsible? It just seems wrong, wrong, wrong to me.

Sorry for crap link (you'll have to scroll half way down a long page to find the ad) but anyway, some evidence that I've not dreamed this teddy heartbeat thing up (I was pretty incredulous myself tbh): Baby Show

BTW please don't be harsh on the woman for choosing to visit the stand - I know this is AIBU but this is my AIBU and not hers, iyswim. It would be awful if she stumbled across this thread and I'd put her in the line of fire.

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 23/02/2010 18:11

wrong, wrong, wrong

scans and listening to the heartbeat are not for fun

they are part of a monitoring process which can as you have pointed out identify problems

also, would the people doing this be medically qualified?

BariatricObama · 23/02/2010 18:12

they must know that there is a chance thsi sort of thing might happen. your poor friend. how is she?

and yes it is irresponsible

SpicedGerkin · 23/02/2010 18:13

'But AIBU to think that scanning women at shows like this is bloody irresponsible? It just seems wrong, wrong, wrong to me.'

Unless they force the women at gun point it's free will.

I feel sorry for the woman, but i wonder how often that's happened compared to how many scans done.

Annya · 23/02/2010 18:14

YANBU. It does seem inappropriate altho I guess it's up to the individual whether they choose to have it. I wouldn't be falling over myself to have my baby's heartbeat in a teddy but, hey ho, everyone's different.

Original poster

OtterInaSkoda · 23/02/2010 18:15

bariatric - I don't know her, I just stumbled across her post on another forum and was . From her post there, she'd had a scan very recently that was fine so I guess she'd have been pretty confident of all being OK than most.

OP posts:

nanny2mummy · 23/02/2010 18:31

well it is your choice to have it done or not
I don't think there is anything wrong with it

OTTMummA · 23/02/2010 18:36

is it done in private?
is the person doing the scan qualified?
would it be any different to find out there or at the hospital, either way you leave a place filled with babies/ pregnant women
is it just a doppler or a full on ultrasound?

i went to future babies in reading and had a '4D' scan put on disk etc, they were all qualified and did a check on measurements etc, and they actually noticed my placenta previa which the NHS didn't on 2 scans 3 weeks apart, the last one which was 4 days before my private scan!

so good things can come from private scans etc, but it needs to be done a. in private and b. by a professional.

although my heart goes out to that woman, i think i would rather of found out before the pain started so i was slightly prepared and not wondering etc.
but thats me, mrs control freak!

peppapighastakenovermylife · 23/02/2010 18:37

Hmmm - I would be happier with it if you were only performed on women over 20 weeks.

TotalChaos · 23/02/2010 18:41

dodgy as hell. at least in a medical setting there should be relatively quick access to more senior staff (sonography/midwifery/medical) if a problem is found. I've never had a private scan so don't know if they have medical or midwife backup for these.

diddl · 23/02/2010 18:41

Feel awful for the woman it happened to, but ye Gods-baby´s heartbeat in a teddybear-yuk.

LittleSilver · 23/02/2010 18:51

I think this is really irresponsible. But then I refer a lot to "Ultrasound, Unsound?" (Beverley Beech, AIMS publication)

AnyFucker · 23/02/2010 19:02

that is awful

unless they have trained midwives/counsellors on hand to deal with any unexpected bad news

and it is done totally screened from prying eyes

and that there are massive disclaimer signs all over the place, guarding against being sued when some numpty gets it wrong...

etc etc

just bloody dodgy, innit

twotimes · 23/02/2010 19:08

At first I was going to say you are being unreasonable if you don't want it, don't go; but I couldn't imagine anyone would expect to be told they were having an MMC (however rare it may be). The reason why it's worse in that situation is that then you have to walk back through all the baby stands, surrounded by other pregnant women who are happy and bubbly, maybe even newborn babies. If you were in a hospital at least the atmosphere's a little more sedate.

I think they should maybe just offer vouchers in order for somebody to come away and go to their premises at a later date. That would avoid any unwanted drama and still make them money.

psychomum5 · 23/02/2010 19:24

not at all doubting you otter, and also not doubting the doppler for putting the heartbeat into a teddy, but I would certainly ponder how true the scanning at the shows are, seeing as they are very big expensive pieces of equipement, and really need to be manned by a trained midwife/doctor/sonographer......I really cannot comprehend them being able to tkae it, let alone insure something like that at 'just' a baby show.

maybe I am just a tad cynical tho.....

AnyFucker · 23/02/2010 19:31

miscarriage is not rare, unfortunately

twotimes · 23/02/2010 19:40

no AF I meant rare to find out in there are the baby show. Spicedgherkin wrote "I feel sorry for the woman, but i wonder how often that's happened compared to how many scans done".

AnyFucker · 23/02/2010 19:45

tt, I beg to differ

1 in 5 pgs end in miscarriage

the advent of early scans means that the fact it is going to end in mc can be picked up weeks before any bleeding has started, when the woman is blissfully unaware the pg was never viable

I think you misunderstand what a "missed mc" is

MiniMarmite · 23/02/2010 19:48

I might be wrong but I think I read (maybe in one of the "What to Expect" books, US version) that in the US it is possible to go and get a quick scan at the mall.

As someone who has had 2 MMCs I do believe it is irresponsible to offer such a service.

nickytwotimes · 23/02/2010 19:49

Oh, that's awful. Poor people who have been scared/found out about mmc at one of these things.

Scans are not for fun/nosiness.

Baby shows are bloody awful things though on the whole. VOm at teddy bear.

chegirlshadabloodynuff · 23/02/2010 20:05

I went to baby show with pg niece earlier in the year (I was/am also pg).

Neice was a bit meh about it but she is a lot younger than me and I suppose more used to the idea of private scans. I had my first DCs 18/16 years ago and you didnt even get a picture to take home unless you begged!

I was really shocked when I saw this. Queues of women lining up for a scan in a booth in the middle of a huge arena.

What happens if the scanner spots an anomaly or something even more drastic? Do they tell her and send her on her way? She could be miles and miles from home.

twotimes · 23/02/2010 20:05

No AF am painfully aware of what an MMC is, finding out at 3 months that you mc at 6 wks is a clear enough wake up. It's also why I think finding out at a baby show would be an absolute kick in the face and make the pain about 10 times worse.

AnyFucker · 23/02/2010 20:08

tt, I was picking up on the commment you made that mc is "rare", that is all

it is not rare

I am sorry I upset you

we agree on the rest, ohhhhh yes, indeedy

twotimes · 23/02/2010 20:16

No no no you didn't upset me i think we just had a mix up, a poster made the point that in comparison to healthy foetus' scanned at these baby shows, mmc's are likely to be rare. I was just going along with that. I didn't know they even did these at baby shows, I'm shocked they do especially the way chegirl describes it. I thought it was all about buying prams and rocking horses!

StewieGriffinsMom · 23/02/2010 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AnyFucker · 23/02/2010 20:21

ok, good, glad about that twotimes x

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