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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have sent my daughter to school crying and with no tie....

56 replies

Ladyanonymous · 23/02/2010 16:09

First day back today, checked last night with her 3 times she "had everything ready for school" 3 times she says "yes mum" getting increasingly more irritated with me.

Ten minutes before we are due to leave this morning she can't find her tie or her PE shorts, mass panic ensues and I stop getting ready for work and help her search. Her room is such a complete shit pit (even though she was sent back to finish "tidying" on at least 4 occasions on Sunday with crap shoved into every cack and crevace you can find).

I lost it, went mental at her and made her get in the car (I am part of a school run and was running late for that and work) with neither, knowing full well she will be in the shit at school today. She cried all the way to school and was still crying (slightly) when I drove away.

I have felt like a bitchwhore mother all day....AIBU?

OP posts:

rainbowinthesky · 23/02/2010 16:10

I've done similar with ds. It feels horrible but it is a lesson in life for them. We've all been there ourselves as children.

Hullygully · 23/02/2010 16:10

No. Unless she's four.

gingernutlover · 23/02/2010 16:11

assuming she isnt 4 years old and in reception then no YANBU

rainbowinthesky · 23/02/2010 16:11

She'll post now and say she's 3.

GrimmaTheNome · 23/02/2010 16:13

What else could you possibly have done? She had to go to school, tie or no tie.

I'm afraid its a lesson in consequences which hopefully she'll learn from.

Doodlez · 23/02/2010 16:13

Lesson learnt if school back you up with a stern(ish) telling off. If they have said to her 2There, there. It doesn't matter", then she'll think...."Stuff it then - nowt much happened, so big deal" and won't trouble herself about such things in future!

lilmissmummy · 23/02/2010 16:14

I agree, she will (hopefully) learn from this experience and get ready in time tomorrow.

If it is any consolation I took my ds to school in his pyjamas because he refused to get dressed on time. I then went home and found his school uniform and dropped it into school. weirdly he is ALWAYS ready for school on time now.

mii · 23/02/2010 16:14

my dad did the same to me

the receptionist would lend them out to students for 50p a day (I don't think that was school policy, she took them out of lost property and pocketed the money)

onepieceoflollipop · 23/02/2010 16:15

Depends on her age really imo. If she is in secondary then definitely what you did was fine.

My dd is in year one and I do still surreptitiously check her bag after she has gone to bed.

ConnorTraceptive · 23/02/2010 16:15

You took the time to help her look which is probably more than I would have done!

Hullygully · 23/02/2010 16:16

Actually, being a softy, I usually send a note in with them as I can't see the point in being bollocked over a poxy tie.

nannynobnobs · 23/02/2010 16:18

My DD is 8 and such a ninnymuggins I would not leave her to get everything ready However if yours is capable but didn't, tough, she'll know to listen to Mum next time!

OTTMummA · 23/02/2010 16:19

lol, i wouldn't of gone mental, i just wouldn't of help to look for her stuff!

she was told the previous night to have everything ready, her fault, she has to deal with the consequenses. ( hope she is at least 8 )

my mum always left the house no later than 8, and we all quickly learned to have everything in order the night before, once my sister was still putting socks and shoes on as my mum walked up the road to school ha!

yummyyummyyummy · 23/02/2010 16:30

At my DSs' school they will lend a tie to anyone who has forgotten one and the same with PE kit.She'll be fine!

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 23/02/2010 16:33

Oh my mum does this to my sister often.

She has bought her 11 fairly expensive ties in her two years at the school. She either takes them off on the walk home and drops them or loses them somewhere in here room!?

You were not bu

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 23/02/2010 16:34

yummy - they do at my sisters school but they also fine them £1 from their lunch card for it

NoobyNoo · 23/02/2010 17:12

YANBU - at all. She has just (hopefully) learned a bit of a life lesson about consequences. Definately not a bitchwhore mother so stop feeling bad!

CirrhosisByTheSea · 23/02/2010 17:20

It depends completely on how old she is I think as to whether you were unreasonable or not!

Original poster

Ladyanonymous · 23/02/2010 17:36

Sorry...shes in year 6, shes 10....nearly 11

OP posts:

Hassled · 23/02/2010 17:39

Completely fair enough. If you spoon feed her everything at this age she will never learn. Really, you did the right thing.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 23/02/2010 19:20

Yup - you did the right thing. Agree with Hassled.

MadamDeathstare · 23/02/2010 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Ladyanonymous · 23/02/2010 23:32

Thank you...after a bottle of wine and the consensus here that I did right...I feel much less of a bitchwhore single mother x 3 ....thank you....

OP posts:

whatdoyouwantfortea · 23/02/2010 23:38

YANBU they have to lern to be responsible fr themselves if they forget ther tie/pe kit/homework etc they do the detention to learn to be more respnsible next time. Yes it is tough but as Ive said you are doing them a favour in the long run otherwise they will never fend for themselves.

Cadelaide · 23/02/2010 23:41

Oh god, I'm a right softee then, I can't send them into school crying. I just can't.

And so I offer you a tentative YABU.

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