AIBU or relationships? About a cars....

[SexyDomesticatedDad]

About 10 months ago bought a MLC type car - not new but low milage and bit of a wow car. DW at the time not too keen on the reg (BJxxxxxx) and at the time had 2nd thoughts. Now she loves going out but seems to have gone off driving it a bit (was not too happy when she dropped it off the curb once) - OK AIBU on that - just asked her to be more careful.

Anyway - had to go to dealers to sort out a minor error message and got chatting tot he salesperson that sold me the car - said they had some very good deals and could do a trade up at little change to the monthly cost. In principle it was all OK, new car with bigger engine, more toys BUT not in preferred colour. Managed to find something close and agreed to swap.

Asked DW to pick the new Reg number from list and DW was non too happy about why needed to swap etc. Its not directly a money issue as I pay for all of it.

So should it have been a nice surprise or should DW have agreed the swap and the colour too??

If the problem is just over the colour of the car YANBU. Although you are married, you are not joined at the hip and i would expect you choose the colour of your car and she chooses the colour of hers and i would not expect to debate this with my DP.

However i suspect it runs a little deeper than that as others have said!

Clumsy mum - you have me bang to rights....

But yes of course I do respect her and deeply love her too - just that the new car is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lovely!!!!!!!

Nice carpet, I notice you didn't show us the car

Anything over about 500 quid gets discussed here. If DH changed cars without consulting me I would be pretty annoyed TBH. Having said that we only have one car at a time so we both need to agree on it.

What is MLC?

Mid Life Crisis!! Don't think it's appropriate here to see the car - just me making a bit of an arse and trying to find a get out.

Would one of you like to choose the reg for me??

AIBU FTW

so let me get this right... you have your own car but swapped hers? why not swap yours if you knew DW wouldn't wanna swap hers so soon, and YOU liked the car so much???

Cantmummy, im confused now! I thought OP had swapped HIS car and his DW was upset because she was not consulted.

No - DW has her own. Swapping mine for same make, model type but its a new version with updated engine (bit bigger BUT more economical, less CO emissions, fit faster.

Could swap DW when she's ready but DS1 is driving it and its a good economical run around.

swapping DW without agreeing probably would be a step too far - unless for a TT

Depends what colour.

So you traded in your wow car not long after you got it, for the same car with more wow factor and for bigger monthly payments and you think DW has the hump because its not the colour she wanted and your peace offering was DW can choose the reg!

Pfft!

I don't see the problem about buying purchases big or large without the other with the exception being a house I think.

I have my own car - well paid for out of the joint account but registered in my name and DH has his own and same set up. He told me the other day he had seen a car he wouldn't mind swoping mine for. Fair enough I really don't care. Before anyone jumps in ands says why doesn't he swop his own his is a camper van which I soemtimes use if I'm going away for a while.
It really isn't an issue to me. I usually book holidays and forget to tell him. He found out we were going away at the end of May when my sister asked if I fancied going away with her and I said I couldn't go that week because I had booke a week away for the family the night before.

As long as we are within our means not many things would be a problem tbh

Meant to put a comma on last sentance so that it reads better. Sorry

btw in which you were talking I thought you was rich enough to have a TT

morloth too gd! I get it its a good one!

Right well if DW already has her own car - she doesnt need to be consulted every step of the way if you want to swap yours. If you had swapped hers without telling her then I can understand. maybe its the fact you upgraded yours and shes now left with the 'economical' one

Well things like holidays and cars are major purchases to DH and I, so we'd never buy one on a whim, without talking it over.

I imagine OP's DW is pissed off with the fact that he behaved as if her opinion was irrelevant. Perhaps she's also worried about how stage three of his MLC will manifest itself.

i'm not sure i see you DW's pov if its not her car, then she shouldn't be too bothered about the reg...

However, if hers is really a 'run-around' and you have a snazzy MLC car.... instead of the higher monthly payments for you to have a better car (than your recently already good car) you should maybe have asked if she wanted an upgrade on hers???

Maybe thats what she's getting stroppy over???

Come on spill the beans, are you driving a car with go faster stripes and banging stereo, while your DW drives a a Skoda with wing mirrors held on with sellotape?

DW is pretty happy about her Mickey M - sometimes a bigger engine would help. We BOTH get to drive the MLC for weekends and longer trips. I also use MM to do quick trips into town as its much smaller to park.

MLC is just a bit of a joke name (the other comes from our neigbour uses in reference to a certain film) - needed to buy a newer car for work as Galaxy was not up to Company policy and DW said 'buy what you like' - so I did. MLC is still practical as it seats 4-5 OK (DS1 goes to Uni soon).

when she said 'buy what you like' she was really saying 'dont you dare buy anything without consulting me first'

When DW said she is pretty happy with her Mickey M that means she can make do with Mickey as she isnt too bothered about wasting money on cars, unless you spend more money and upgrade your car AGAIN!

Can't upgrade DW's car if DS1 is driving it - imagine the insurance!