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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MUMSNET friends vs REAL friends

54 replies

stargreen · 22/02/2010 10:42

Hi all, I am new to MN. I am curious so help me out here. I am wondering if people feel that their MN friends are more supportive than their real friends.

And do you tend to confess more and be more honest on MN because you can stay anonymous.

Let me know what you think.

xxx

OP posts:
noddyholder · 22/02/2010 11:11

All the friends I have made on MN that I see in RL are very similar to my rl friends iygwim.

Doublebuggy · 22/02/2010 11:13

My RL friends have not a clue (and don't care) why washing machines go pongy sometimes. Let alone how to solve the problem. But someone in MN will.

That does not mean I don't value my RL friends. There is more to friendship than taking the stink out of your washing machine .

Doublebuggy · 22/02/2010 11:15

But most first times will post a question about the pong in their washing machine.

Not about the meaning of friendships!

PollyTroll · 22/02/2010 11:18

I don't think MN friends are more supportive, on an individual basis. But the cumulative effect is of more support, because there are fecking thousands of us on here, and someone is always around when you're in a crisis (whereas I'd be unwilling to phone up even very good RL friends at 1am).

I'm not more honest on here than I am in RL. I'm quite conscious that anyone who posts a lot on here is v indentifiable in RL, so I don't say stuff on here that I wouldn't say in RL. I do probably mince my words less on here though.

claw3 · 22/02/2010 11:21

How do you get the stink out of your washing machine, mine is chucking up a bit?

Flightattendant · 22/02/2010 11:22

Student or journo I have no time for this.

psychomum5 · 22/02/2010 11:23

some of my MN friends are my RL friends, so I have the best of both worlds

Flightattendant · 22/02/2010 11:24

...and be aware, MN is a FIRST port of call for phd students and undergrads alike...my friend is a university lecturer...she knows these things.

I am more cynical since she told me that.

PlumBumMum · 22/02/2010 11:26

Psycho quick question did you know flame before mn or meet her through a meet up?
Always wondered

GetOrfMoiLand · 22/02/2010 11:29

That's interesting FA.

I can't be arsed with entertaining this as the OP has not even bothered to disguise the fact that she is after info, as opposed to being a genuine MNer.

I mean how many of us started our MN posting lives with shite like this. My first post iirc was after 3 months of lurking, and was 'lol' in response to one of cods inane comments iirc.

Enphatically not a thread 'ooh MN I am new but let's have a meaningful debate' in manner of Mrs Merton.

Sod off OP and do some proper research.

JaneS · 22/02/2010 11:31

Hmm, it never occurred to me to come to MN with my PhD stuff flightattendant but I just might now. Is that legit?

star - I don't think I'm more honest on MN. It's a great procrastination tool though

PollyTroll · 22/02/2010 11:31

I don't have any problem spilling my brains for a PhD research student (if that is what the OP is) - doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Journos are different as they should be paying the fee, but I still can't get het up about it.

PlumBumMum · 22/02/2010 11:32

Its the
Let me know what you think
at the end of the post just dosen't look right

Lucyellensmumma · 22/02/2010 11:38

im suspicious of the OP throwing some thoughts out there........but why do i care? i dont

I am always very honest on here, probably more so than i would be with my RL friends, if i spoke to my RL friends the way i spoke on here, i should doubt that i would have any!

Do i consider people on here my friends? Sorry, guys but not really. BUT there are some lovely lovely people on here who have been very supportive to me and others and it has been a vital lifeline. ~I enjoy stirring the shit in AIBU sometimes, i get into trouble with my honesty sometimes - i try not to offend but its easy to forget that there are real people typing on the other end of my lap top wire.

Mind you, we are all a bunch of Devil worshipping lesbians who worship at the altar of Lemon drizzle cake

Shodan · 22/02/2010 11:46
ppeatfruit · 22/02/2010 11:50

Stargreen; it wouldn't matter if you were a journo ; would it folks??

iam newish on here and what i like is that you can talk about what interests you to others who feel the same e.g. how many of yr. RL friends are going to want to talk about details of housekeeping? Not many that's for sure!!!

TrillianAstra · 22/02/2010 11:51

The difference is that if you ask your RL friends for support you are bothering them. They are most likely already doing something, an they have to choose to say 'I am busy I can't be there for you right now', which is difficult.

On MN people are not busy, and if they are they can simply choose to ignore you without any hard feelings. It feels like much less of an imposition to ask for advice or opinions or inane chatter on here, even if it is the middle of the night.

(Don't mind if this is a sociology project, might mind a bit if you are a journalist)

GetOrfMoiLand · 22/02/2010 11:51
chipmonkey · 22/02/2010 11:57

Trillian, I will have you know I am very busy on MN, my typing fingers are worked to the bone!

Flightattendant · 22/02/2010 12:03

Chip were you on Apr 08 an threads? Will you looky here for me please, no need to post.

Thanks dear.

Fwiw I do not mind helping some student but only if they are upfront. I hate the disingenuous aspect. And I am not in the market for assisting the current spate of shitey MN articles in the papers/magazines. Enough is enough.

Andi2 · 22/02/2010 12:05
GetOrfMoiLand · 22/02/2010 12:10
OurLadyOfPerpetualSupper · 22/02/2010 12:14

Getorf, love the Mrs Merton ref - but it was heated debate afair.

< sad trousers - no MNers in those days to be friends with >

AccioPinotGrigio · 22/02/2010 12:15

I think it would matter if stargreen were a journo because there is an appropriate area of the forum for media requests.

It is an interesting question (to a certain extent at least) but if the OP is asking for the purpose of writing an article or an academic paper then why not come out and say so? Would that stop people from answering? I don't think it would stop me.

GetOrfMoiLand · 22/02/2010 12:18

Ooh thank OurLady - I knew meaningful debate was not the correct term but was racking my brains and coulnd't think of right one.

Yes how sad to be referencing mid-90s mild comedy, and not even getting it right