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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Crap presents for dc

51 replies

Cheeseplant · 21/02/2010 14:31

Hi
I know it's a long time since Xmas but this has been bugging me for a while so need to get of chest.
Partner and I finally have dc after a long struggle and this was it's 1st Xmas. Many of our friends already have children and over the years we've been generous with gifts for them all, spending lot of time, effort choosing gifts.
Our dc received such a poor lot of presents. Some were clearly recycled as had no tags. It's not the amount of money that Is the issue but the fact that our friends thought it accepatble to pass on their cast offs. Really annoyed and it really makes me not want to give their children nice presents. Two of the worst presents were from "god parents", I always try to get something a bit special for my god children.
I just want to emphasise that it is not the money spent but the lack of thought. None of our friends are hard up either.

OP posts:

MrsC2010 · 21/02/2010 14:38

They probably thought that a less than 1yr old probably wouldn't notice?

SoupDragon · 21/02/2010 14:39

Lulumama · 21/02/2010 14:41

if people are good friends/godparents and nice kind people in every other way, tehn forget it

maybe they were skint and instead of giving nothing, gave something their DC had outgrown/ didn't want , rather than nothing ?

Sparkletastic · 21/02/2010 14:41

Nothing wrong with 'cast offs' if they are in good nick - much more eco Your DC doesn't care but you seem to so stop buying presents for friends' DCs and let them know you don't expect any for your DC.

overmydeadbody · 21/02/2010 14:42

No point putting lots of thought into a present for a baby though is there?

overmydeadbody · 21/02/2010 14:43

and how do you know they didn't think long and hard before deciding what to give?

MrsC2010 · 21/02/2010 14:43

I can understand why this would hurt you, in that if you have been trying for so long you probably feel that this should be as big a deal for your friends and the people that care about you as it is for you. Unfortunately otherwise good people won't always get that, they'll think a present is a present at that age, and that just having your much longed for child will be enough for you...if you see what I mean?

GypsyMoth · 21/02/2010 14:44

Give a few more examples of what he got ?

Momdeguerre · 21/02/2010 14:45

YABU. How can you judge how thoughtful a gift is? Difficult to buy for children under the age of one anyway.

Am certain you bought your child lots of lovely gifts and that they have not suffered in any way.

Perhaps you may have to adjust your expectations?

onlyjoinedforoffers · 21/02/2010 14:47

how do you know that the presents you gave were liked? they might have thought they were crap too YABU

deaddei · 21/02/2010 14:51

I think you need to get over it and move on.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 21/02/2010 14:53

I don't know why anyone buys presents for other people's children that are not in their family. Just...why? I buy for immediate family only, and would expect others to just do that. It's just causing stress for no reason

Pozzled · 21/02/2010 14:53

Don't assume that gifts without tags are 'recycled'. If I'm giving to a toddler or baby I will often remove tags and packaging before wrapping. It means they can play straight away without any safety issues.

Also, it's a lot easier to spend time choosing thoughtful gifts when you don't have children yourself.

havoc · 21/02/2010 14:55

Sorry, YABU

You don't know how much effort has been taken to find these 'crap' presents. Your friends might have thought thet were brilliant gift. Some of the best presents my DC have had haven't looked impressive, but they have had hours of fun with them (plastic cups, box of tissues).

All of this was weeks ago, stop thinking about it.

winnybella · 21/02/2010 15:06

Yes, can we have some examples, please? Hard to judge otherwise.

BuzzingNoise · 21/02/2010 15:10

Yes I want examples before I don my judgey pants.

Megatron · 21/02/2010 15:11

YABVU. And a tad ungrateful too. Sorry, but I think there are many, many more things to fret about in life rather than something like this.

CantSleepWontSleep · 21/02/2010 15:16

SE13Mummy · 21/02/2010 15:16

Perhaps the recycled presents are things that your friends' own children have enjoyed but outgrown so your friends thought your child would enjoy them too? We sometimes give preloved presents to friends/family/their children and are always happy to receive them too. Just because a present has no tags/packaging doesn't mean that it's secondhand or that a lot of thought hasn't gone into selecting it, it just may not be your style.

If the presents have upset you then perhaps it would be better to ask friends not to give your son a present at all rather than to feel disappointed by what they've chosen. A young baby/child is unlikely to have an opinion on the gifts unless you teach him/her that it is not the thought that counts at all and that may well set you up for a lifetime of a child demanding presents of a particular type instead of appreciating that people have remembered him on his birthday/at Christmas.

Bumperlicious · 21/02/2010 15:30

I've just bought two mum-to-be friends second hand books for when their children arrive. They are books that I really thought would suit them, and couldn't afford to buy them brand new, plus it seems a bit silly when you can just recycle things. Is that wrong?

A few of us mummy friends had our LOs within days of each other, so for their first birthday I insisted that we give each other's kids one of our own DC's toys that they were no longer interested in.

I think once you have kids it just seems madness to spend money on more new crap. Your LO won't care at 1 year old, and it won't hurt him to bring him up not to care when he is 7 years old!

GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy · 21/02/2010 15:32

I think you are being unreasonable.

People sent your child presents therefore they have put thought and effort into it. If you hadn't recieved any gifts then you could say there was no effort involved.

We were given a jumper at Christmas for my then 4 month old DS. It was size 2-3 years. Unfortunatly it didn't have the tags on otherwise i would of subtley swapped it for a better fit. We still smiled and said thank you because we knew they had taken the time and effort to buy, wrap and deliver said present.

diddl · 21/02/2010 15:36

Perhaps they are so busy with their families that they can´t put too much time/effort in.

If they read this,I bet they would wish they hadn´t bothered.

In the past it has torn me apart to give away something that one of mine has loved.

MrsSawdust · 21/02/2010 15:39

Need to know what these 'crap' presents are before I can pass comment. But I think it's quite likely yab a bit u.

BitOfFun · 21/02/2010 15:39

Does anyone else find it strange to refer to your child as "it"?

MrsSawdust · 21/02/2010 15:41

Oh, and I would never judge a friend on the quality of their gifts. Or even care if they didn't give any.

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