To correct my DDs speech

[Lucyellensmumma]

My DD is four, she has had speech delay but is fine now, well - i think she is and the school haven't raised any issues about it. She does struggle with some words and my mum struggles to understand her sometimes.

I would never dream of correcting her on words she is struggling with, although i do sometimes just say the word properly but she has developed a habit of dropping her Ts and it drives me nuts - her dad is from south east london so is the king of Bu..er wa..er etc. I do ask him to try not to do this in front of DD but its the way he always speaks. But in light of her speech delay should i just let her talk like it - i honestly think its what she has learnt rather than her speech problem and i correct it. She CAN say her Ts in words and as i said, if she had problems prounouncing it i woudlnt correct - she struggles with G sounds and C sounds sometimes, but i just ignore it.

So you don't want her to speak with sarf landan accent i wouldn't either. But rest assured her accent has nothing to do with her speech delay, however if she is nervous about speaking and you keep correcting her for no other reason than you don't like the way she says something, you could cause her to become self-conscious imho.

YABU to ask dh to speak differently around dd that's not very fair is it? How do you know he likes your accent?

lol two times, im not sure he does - he says im a carrot cruncher - oooh aahhh!!

~I think you are right though, i might lay off on the correction

Of course you shouldn't correct her.
I remember my mum trying to stop my south london accent and even as I child I used to think" I'm from south london what do you expect"
A proper south London accent is lovely, a mockney eastenders crap one isn't. If you don't like the way she speaks move to another part of the country where you like the local accent.

Actually proper SE london accent would say butter not buer water not waer.

correct accent - no

correct missed letters - I would sometimes

repeating words that she can't say so that she hears the proper way to say it - yes

So I would repeat the words with the G & C sounds just so she hears you saying them (don't say "it is DOG not whatever", just say "yes a doG").

I would also say "it is water, not wa..er"
(but then I also drop a lot of my t's so I don't correct this one very much).

I just wanted to say in sympathy, I dislike the local accent (and yes I will be moving soon) and I did try at first to correct but then I realised how unfair I was being.

I do however repeat words if my dc's miss t's or whatever just so that they can hear the correct way of saying it (accent or not). For example if dc says "can I av some bu..er wiv it" I'd respond "have butter with it, course you can" that way it doesn't sound so much like I'm correcting imo .

Do you live in SE London? If you do, I'd leave it most of the time, but if it's only DH speaking like this then I would correct it...

We live somewhere that there are two distinct ways of speaking - one is encouraged, the other heavily discouraged!!

I would correct missed letters.

i dont live in SE london - and i am actually really rubbish at dropping my Ts too. I dont have a problem with DPs accent, why would i - im just explaining why maybe he drops his Ts. but in DDs speech development isnt it better for her to learn to speak properly?

Kitty - you don't like me, do you luv - did you do a search on my name, because were on my other thread and lo - here you are again! LMAO

We sort of make a joke of it really - I say buTTER, DD laughs and runs round saying Bu -TTer she corrected her daddy this morning - i do think i might stop correcting though, i do tend to just say the right word, but the bu er thing is something that grates because it is lazy speech rather than speech she has problems with - i never correct this ever.

LOL I am getting confused about the 'problem' here! But it matters not, do what you think is best - it's your perogative

Shouldn't this be a decision you make with your child's Father? I think it is awful to undermine his way of speaking in front of your child.

I don't live in a part of the country with a glottal stop, but this issue has been brought up lots of times before on MN. Apparently cultures all over the world use the glottal stop. It has nothing to do with lazy speech and is a correct way of speaking if it is the dialect of your family or region.

But then I really dislike the replacement of English, Scottish and Welsh accents with a generic British one; I think we should keep our cultures alive.

Be very careful. My father used to do this to me and would correct every word and make me repeat it before I was allowed to carry on with what I was saying; sometimes three of four times a sentence. It showed a complete lack of interest in what I was actually saying. It disrupted normal conversation and I was so scared of being stopped that I'd speak really really quietly so he could barely hear me. I also started to gabble so I could get everything out before being stopped, something I have had to work hard as an adult to correct. Use praise for saying something properly, not criticism, unless you want her to find having to speak to you miserable. I'm sure you wouldn't be like my dad, who was essentially a bully, but I thought I'd let you know how it can make the child feel. I'm from Essex and don't have an Essex accent so, if that's what you want, it can be done but perhaps more nicely!

I take all of this on board - i think i will stop correcting for a while. The children in her school all speak well and i think that will rub off on her. I dont care about accent but its just about wanting to help her - thanks for he opinions

A glottal stop in this situation isn't wrong so it is not "correcting" her speech.

It is a bit unfair to live where you do and have a child with someone with this accent then give messages that there is something wrong with her accent.

lol OP it would seem that way wouldn't it. Just unfortunate that's all. How could i like/dislike you I've never met you!

Ds has a speech delay ie cant pronounce certain sounds.

I never 'correct' him as such, i just repeat back to him ie he says 'look at the tar', i say 'which Car, the blue one?' etc, etc.

You could do the same if she drops her 't's'. I would.

thats the thing claw she CAN say her Ts, i never pick her up on stuff she can't say - like some c words and g words. Tis frustrating, but everyone has confirmed my thoughts that i am being unreasonable correcting - she'll grow out of it, or she wont. y

I tell my children that there are two ways of pronunciation that are relevant to them (local South East complete with glottal stops and a more educated accent) and that I want them to be able to do both and to understand the difference. Ds is very touchy on the subject and very suspicious of anything he sees as an attempt to give him a "post" accent. I tell him it's fine to use his local accent with his friends, but that there may be situations where he is better off using the "posher" accent.

But if he had a speech defect or speech was difficult for him, I think I'd let it be. I do give him a bit of leeway on table manners because he has joint problems.

I dont think you are being unreasonable to repeat the correct word back to her. As someone else has already said not 'you dont say it like this, you say it like that', but just repeating.

It is sometimes difficult for others to understand ds because of his speech delay, without him dropping the letters he can pronounce properly.

My DD has had speech delay due to a (now resolved) hearing problem.

OF COURSE YOU MUST repeat the work back to her correctly, or how else is she to learn ?

My DD has had several sessions with the speech therapist & she says this is essential to her improving her speech, it's called modelling.

So if she says " I wan' to go to 'annahs 'ouse"

you say "oh you want to go to Hannahs House"

YABU.
She has a speech delay that you say she is getting better with now.
And you want to give her a complex about her accent? How will that make anything better.
I presume that you dispise anyone with a regional or class specific accent. We better all learn to talk like Trevor McDonald or else.
To understand and to be understood it the point of talking. You understand your partner don't you?