To correct my DDs speech

[Lucyellensmumma]

My DD is four, she has had speech delay but is fine now, well - i think she is and the school haven't raised any issues about it. She does struggle with some words and my mum struggles to understand her sometimes.

I would never dream of correcting her on words she is struggling with, although i do sometimes just say the word properly but she has developed a habit of dropping her Ts and it drives me nuts - her dad is from south east london so is the king of Bu..er wa..er etc. I do ask him to try not to do this in front of DD but its the way he always speaks. But in light of her speech delay should i just let her talk like it - i honestly think its what she has learnt rather than her speech problem and i correct it. She CAN say her Ts in words and as i said, if she had problems prounouncing it i woudlnt correct - she struggles with G sounds and C sounds sometimes, but i just ignore it.

My mum used to correct my slight glottal stop issues all the time when I was younger. It absolutely drove me mad.

I ended up doing it more just to wind her up {naughty child emoticon]. Used to constantly mention my friends Mar'in and Na'alie all the time, and calling the sofa "se'ee" was also a favourite!

I would. Butter has two t's in it, and since you are not living in S London, why wouldn't you pronounce them?

I have not assumed that you despise anyone with a regional accent. That was a little harsh, surely?

My dd's speech is quite unclear at times and I model it back with emphasis on the sounds she has missed out. However, my ds is picking up a west country twang which I'm itching to correct but won't because I used to hate it when my Mum corrected my accent as a child - made me really self conscious about talking

MY DH's family are all from south london and none of them say bu'er

When DS had speach therapy we were told not to correct what he says but use the word in a sentance back

ie if DS says

"look at the "tat" (he had a problem with t and c

then say back to him
"that's a nice cat really emphasising the correct pronounciation.

Oops just read forties post but will post this anyway

MY DH's family are all from south london and none of them say bu'er

When DS had speach therapy we were told not to correct what he says but use the word in a sentance back

ie if DS says

"look at the "tat" (he had a problem with t and c

then say back to him
"that's a nice cat really emphasising the correct pronounciation.

Oops just read forties post but will post this anyway

Don't correct her, but find a reason to use the word yourself in a sentence to her later using the proper pronuciation. Don't comment - just model the proper pronunciation.

And remember the importance of protective colouration! My children are trilingual - Kentish/esturine at school, posh at home and Yorkshire with grandparents. It hasn't held them back at all!!!

Sarf Londoner here!

IME we don't say bu'er, so where my home counties daughters got it from I don't know (I'm considered quite well-spoken so s'not me, honest!). I did and still occasionally do have to correct this kind of speech although they're teenagers now and I guess their accents are a mix of natural speech and peer pressure. I work on the theory that my own accent has earned me compliments and a good deal of money in the past (as well as incredulous comments that I don't sound like a girl from South London!) so it will benefit them too if they speak properly.

I think there's a big difference in gently correcting something which your daughter can say perfectly well but for whatever reason (Dad, peers, lazy-itis, forgetfulness) doesn't, and being draconian on the things for which she is in need of specialist help.

Haven't read the whole thread. 5 years go I would have said ignore. NowI have a slightly different opinion. DTDs are 8, and a couple of years ago they were struggling slightly with their spellings. At parents evening the teacher pointed out something we hadn't noticed - the sounsd they were struggling to spell were those which they were mis-pronouncing.

Once we made a conscious effot with our pronounciation (I am talking about the fact that all the sounds are present in whatever the local dialect is rather than strictly changing accent) they found their spelling much easier.

I wouldn't correct everything... but we do comment occasionally on things which are freuqently mis-pronounced, and make a bit more of an effort to ensure that they are pronouncing "newly exposed" words IYSWIm and it has made a tremendous difference with their spelling.

So I think that I have come at this from a slightly differnt angle to most but there are long term advantages IMO to ensuring that words are pronounced correctly - ot at least all sounds can be heard in a word when pronounced.

My dd is 4 too but has had no speech delay, so maybe I can afford to be a little less sensitive(?). I don't correct her pronunciation and 'versions' of words, For instance I love "basghetti" for spaghetti, I do definitely correct her Norf Londonisms, especially the heinous dropping of 't's. The worst yes has been "bu..erfly"! NO NO NO!!!

Actually Kittywise, I'm interested in knowing what a proper SE London accent sounds like. Is there an archive somewhere at the Museum of London?

I am genuinely interested, even though that may sound sarcastic.

It's your job as a parent to train your child, whether it's in table manners, room tidying, or speaking.

Obviously you have to take her self-esteem into account, but if she can pronouce her Ts, then do make her.

Don't be the type of parent who never disciplines their child.

I do correct,though not all the time,and nicely! DS had speech problems,in that he had problems saying the sounds(so not with vocab or quantity!) It is a problem for kids if other people can't understand them,and in DS's case once I knew he could say the sound,I would encourage him to say it again if it came out wrong.I did this in a jokey way with lots of praise when he got it(and he was older,he is 10 now and he still has trouble with some sounds).It did affect his spelling - I agree with ThisBoyDraculaDrew on that.

I was going to say I wouldn't be bothered by accent,but my current battle with DS and DD is "f" for "th" - which our speech therapist said she wouldn't try to alter if it was part of the family's speech patterns.
Not my family's speech patterns it isn't! - why do I care??

Oh correct away. THey (experts) say you shouldn't, but they'll say anything, and it'll make you feel as though you're doing something useful. Always corrected mine ...

ThisboyDracula also raises a very valid point about mispronounciation and how it can impact on spellings. It can also affect reading ability too.

as general rule of thumb have tried to be more interested in what my children say rather than how they say it, although cannot deny wincing a bit at all the loikes and boikes (we are in Suffolk) that appeared in primary school but they seemed to grow out of that naturally so that was alroight

I love the Norfolk accent and wish had grown up with one myself though

It just goes to show that you need to know your own child,and find what works for them(with the help of professionals where applicable,of course!)
DS had genuine speech and language problems,but modelling really had no impact on him at all - he needed to be shown how to make the sounds,and to practice them.We modelled the right sounds to him,he understood the words - he just was completely incomprehensible when he repeated them!(I think the casual modelling of normal speech wasn't enough - he needed something much more focussed)

DD2 doesn't have a speech problem and talks very well except for 2 words

Water - Wa-er
Nappy - naccy

I know its not a problem with her p's or t's as she can say butter and happy perfectly but i do say " its waTER " she still says wa-er though

And its not a south london accent as we live in wales

I agree with Squirrel

If you hear her talking and not using the right sounds for certain words just repeat the word correctly and try and say it a few times in a sentence so that she hears it said correctly over and over.

eg "Yes that is a Dog, It is a big Brown Dog, Look what the Dog is doing, The Dog is going for a walk, He is a good Dog.

I have been doing this with my Daughter who had some speach problems and it seems to have worked really well.

I hope this helps.

Oops didnt see all the other posts on here saying the same thing as me!
Just saw one page with abot 5 replies on it!

I've lived pretty much all my life in South London, and dropping your "t"s is a part of the local accent. Not that I have it, I was brought up in a family that used RP, and have a really poor ear for accents, and never really managed to pick it up at school (which wasn't great, as I was bullied for being just a little bit too different). dh comes from little further out and fits in much better! I used to get peeved with ds because he didn't have any of my accent at all, so I did correct him, but I don't think it bothered him to be honest (we mostly fought over "ain't"). Now we live in Canada dd has virtually no English accent left at all, and ds is loved by all the girls for sounding English!

aint aint grammar aint aint - thats what my dad used to say to me all the time. Its funny, i tend to change the way i speak according to the company i am - i find that really annoying but i do it all the time, i suddenly find myself talking really posh or like barbra windsor depending on who i am with - i must sound like a complete and utter nutter.

My DPs family all from SE london, pretty much drop their Ts and Hs all the time, however their accents don't sound common or cockney. I can't describe it really. My DP is constantly saying D'ya know wa a mean! Its rubbed off on me but i say it "properly" Do you know what i mean - it sounds ridiculous!!

LEM, i was born and raised in SE London. Step dad is extremely well spoken.

My mum cracks me up 'Hello, how har you' when she does her posh accent!