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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that wearing a dress that could be described as 'white' to a wedding is not on?

71 replies

TrillianAstra · 20/02/2010 16:53

Please do tell me IABU.

I'm looking for something lovely to wear to SIL's wedding here and the two dresses I like best could both be described as looking like 'a long white dress with a pattern/picture/colour on'.

I don't think it's allowed, is it? Would you think it was odd if you saw someone wearing either of these?

Dress 1

Dress 2

(apologies for shameless link/bump for my 'let's look at dresses')

OP posts:
twotimes · 20/02/2010 18:06

Oh please they're both lovely prefer dress 2 actually

alicet · 20/02/2010 18:13

I don't think either of these are a problem - they are very definately NOT wedding dresses so I would buy whichever you like and forget about it

HopingLovedTheSnow · 20/02/2010 18:26

if you type in the code VCCOUKFREEDEL at checkout, I believe it will give you free delivery and returns...expires tomorrow though, so looks like it's make up your mind time!

MrsTittleMouse · 20/02/2010 18:33

Dress one is lovely and wouldn't be a problem at all IMO. Especially as I'm guessing that you would pick up a colour from the print to accessorise.

If you're still concerned, why not ask the bride? I was going to a wedding and couldn't find anything I liked - until I found a fantastic, but very pale, trouser suit. So I phoned the bride to check that she was going to be very traditional, and not going the Bianca Jagger route. She had a very wedding-y dress, I wore the trouser suit, it wasn't a problem.

Conversely, I had quite a non-traditional dress, and SIL had mentioned that she really liked a v. similar dress to wear herself. I was really panicking (silly, really, in retrospect) that she was going to look like the bride, or a bridesmaid. But all the worry was for nothing as she wore trousers. If you'd turned up to my wedding in the first dress, you would have been fine, by the way.

oldernowiser · 20/02/2010 18:33

First one, definitely, with a cute little jacket or something (not in white)

Fabulous dress

Original poster
TrillianAstra · 20/02/2010 18:37

Think I'll see if they have it in John Lewis or Debenhams (or actually there might be a Coast shop somewhere around). They might have a 'sign up for our store card and get 10% off' in which case I could use the store card that one time and then pay it off stright away.

OP posts:
wilkos · 20/02/2010 20:16

hope its a great day, enjoy the shopping!

BrandyAlexander · 20/02/2010 20:44

The first dress is beautiful - wish I had the height to carry it off!

shoofly · 20/02/2010 20:50

dress 1 is lovely and Coast have lovely shrugs (?) / little cardis that would go with it - Have a lovely time

LeQueen · 20/02/2010 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alambil · 20/02/2010 20:55

I love them both - would wear the sea one myself and wouldn't call either of them "a white dress"

Beveridge · 20/02/2010 21:06

I love both but I personally wouldn't wear no.2 to a wedding - being white and long with the straps and the silver detail it looks a little bit bridal (though obviously the big blue wave on it isn't).No.1 isn't white anyway, it's multicoloured!

Though my cousin did wear a completely white dress to my wedding with white accessories, didn't bother me (ha! I don't think there could have been any confusion given my massive meringue and full-length veil!) but I wouldn't have worn what she wore to someone else's wedding IYSWIM?

SeaTrek · 20/02/2010 21:10

they both have a lot of pattern on and there is no way I would every think of them as being wedding dresses = fine.

wastwinsetandpearls · 20/02/2010 21:11

They are both fine unless you are also going to wear a veil and carry a bouquet which you insist on hurling into the crowd shortly before shagging the groom.

GuntherMcKilocodie · 20/02/2010 21:16

I don't get this 'don't wear white to a wedding' thing. It would never occur to me to neither wear white to someone else's wedding or be offended if someone had worn white to mine. Unless you actually wear a wedding dress/tiara/veil, surely to god everyone will realise who the bride is. Wear what you want it's a load of bridezilla nonsense!

TheFirstLady · 20/02/2010 21:19

My mum wore an ivory lace number to my wedding. I was a bit about it. She wore black to my brother's wedding, which was even more .

GhoulsAreLoud · 20/02/2010 21:23

I am agog at the price of them considering how cheap they look.

The first one looks like a sarong!

(apols for honesty)

thehillsarealive · 20/02/2010 21:29

my only concern (for you) would be that it is quite possible that some other guest would turn up wearing the same dress as Coast is high street iyswim...

would that bother you or would you accessorize in a way to stop this?

I also prefer the first dress. Hopefully you will get the May heatwave for the wedding.

verytellytubby · 20/02/2010 21:30

I prefer the second one.

goodbyesunhellomoon · 20/02/2010 21:31

I think the coast dress is absolutely lovely. I've never been one for maxi dresses but this one looks so elegant yet fun for a summerish wedding - looked at it a couple of times now and I want it!

Have fun in it

EssenceOfJack · 20/02/2010 21:31

I prefer the first but as long a your SIL doesn;t mind then it doesn't really matter.

I got married in pale pink silk and I was pissed off with my sister who also wore a pale pink silk dress, even though she had said she wouldn't, grrr!

goodbyesunhellomoon · 20/02/2010 21:34

my mil was (thankfully) talked out of a long plain white dress for my wedding by her two daughters ....nutcase! They were like...'mum, just think about the photos!'

Plazaz · 20/02/2010 21:35

First one is nice.

Second one has too much of an expanse of white at the top. If you're standing among a crowd it could look as if you're wearing a white dress.

pointysayhiphip · 20/02/2010 21:49

Neither of those are white dresses. Pick whichever suits you!

Gumps · 20/02/2010 22:05

Definitely the first one. Although my only word of warning would be that as it is from coast and a wedding it is highly likely that someone lese will be wearing it too.... However if you look more gorgeous in it (and of course you will) who cares?!
Do it do it do it!