Is the word 'Re**rd' acceptable in the USA?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

To my shame I'm watching 'Bridezillas' and have heard it used 5 fucking times so far.

I am so angry.

I don't think so, I have an american friend who is gets offended at the use of the word.

Told you that you should be cleaning instead
Horrible, horrible word. No idea if it's ok in us.

I've heard juveniles use it over there in a relaxed way. don't know if that makes it acceptable there.

A friend of mine uses the word 'tard'. I cringe every time. Not that she uses it often, but still...

I suppose, fools here use it, fools over there use it.

Dh uses it. It drives me insane. He uses it like those ridiculous American Pie movies use it.

He is convinced there is no ill meaning behind it I berate him often.

In America it's still used in textbooks. As far as I know anyway.

I'm a social work student and have looked at a fair number of American textbooks written over the past few decades, each of them use the word, but in a medical way - as in, mental retardation at birth.

I know over here in UK it's a horrible thing to say to anyone, and I'd never dream of calling anyone that term, but in America it's only just starting to become a bad term.

Sorry that it makes you so upset, and I can totally understand you getting annoyed at people using it in a flippant/offhand way.

Words can differ in their offensiveness levels from country to country.

For example, the first time I heard someone use the word 'Oriental' here in the UK I was shocked - in New Zealand it's considered antiquated, colonial and just not appropriate, but people still use it here.

No, no more so than here.

Ditto 'gay', although plenty of my gay friends label certain things gay.

I live in the US and no it is not acceptable. I think American society are usually very conscious of the language they use and causing offense. Even the words stupid and idiot are frowned upon - when my children were much younger and we were visiting my Mum they would come running to tell me every time she used the "S" word.
Having said that I am sure that just as in other countries there is a minority who think it is cool to use language that is offensive to other cultures without any knowledge of its meaning.
However Bridezillas and American Pie are probably about as accurate a representation of American life as Eastenders is of British life!
Interestingly the word wanker is totally acceptable here though because most people have no clue what it means!

They don't know that bollocks is a sweary word, either. Or know what a tosser or toss pot is. Or a pillock. Or a knobbo.

ah Pillock is my current favourite....

Just to complicate and nuance what you all are saying....

My (American) cousin refers to her adult son with Downs Syndrome as "Retarded". She loves her son to bits, considers him the best thing that ever happened to her, she does not consider it offensive in the slightest to call him that.

But she does get offended when people use retarded to refer to anyone who doesn't have Downs Syndrome. Retarded had a very specific definition when we were growing up (Downs syndrome or similar) -- nothing to be ashamed about. But using it as an insult offends my cousin hugely.

There are British terms that are rude if not downright offensive to American ears too, you know.

No, I don't think it is acceptable in the USA.

I live in the US. As cantsupinate says, I think retarded is used in a medical sense, where in Britain we would say delayed. Americans also say handicapped instead of disabled. Neither of those is considered offensive, it's just different terminology. 'retard' as a general insult is considered somewhat offensive but probably not outrageously so, I'd say.

The word that particularly grates on me here is 'dumb' to mean stupid. Even in children's story books - it is completely integrated into normal vocabulary.

I think using any such term pejoritively is horrid, even if it is a factual one.

I think 'handicapped' is an interesting one - lots of old people use it, not thinking they are being offensive, but it actually derives from 'cap in hand' from when people with disabilities had to beg I think once you hear this, you never want to use this word again, though it is still used in racing and golf of course (wish they could come up with another word tbh, and this is from someone who worries about political correctness because sometimes it veers into censorship).

yeah - I'm part of an american support group for a genetic disorder my dd has. Lots of people on there refer to their child having mental retardation - or MR

But like CantSupinate says someone using it in clinical sense differs widely from someone using it as an insult. I guess its cos of words being appropriated like that makes even the clinical adoption more unpalatable.

'mental Retardation'

vs a woman calling someone a retard because they got the length of her veil wrong.

Then calling the parking inspector that saw sh was parked illegally 'retarded'
Different.

She sounds charming.

I live in Ireland but am originally from the UK.

When my daughter (severely brain damaged) was alive (only 4 years ago), I came across the word retarded many times.

I personally was offended but had to accept that it was a used term here from many sources.

I wouldn't be accepting of any of the examples given in everyday circumstances though.

I've heard people being called a bugger all over the place...is it unusual?

As for 'retard'., horrible, horrible term...but yes it is still used a lot over there. DH used to live over there for work and was amazed (just asked him). But apparently it isn't meant offensively?!

Sorry to be pedantic, but 'handicapped' does not come from 'cap in hand', meaning that people had to beg. It comes via the sense of 'handicap' in games (e.g. in golf, in horse-racing), and probably from an original betting game in which people put things in a cap and drew lots for them. e.g. Pepys writes in his diary, 1660 "Here some of us fell to handicap, a sport that I never knew before, which was very good." Presumably the implication is that a physical disability is the result of chance, in the same way that pulling a blank in a lottery is the result of chance.

So you can reconsider your concern at the phrase as used in racing!

Black eyed peas used it in one of their songs ("let's get it started" is originally "let's get retarded").

It's a very very common slang word in the US, unfortunately...