To...Ahem...Fake It?

[MrsMontague]

I have been married to DH for just short of a year, we have been together for 6 years and have 1 DD.

Since we have been together, I have only ever had 1 orgasm...and that was just after we got together and we were drunk students who had fancied each other for a good year or so, so I imagine the chemistry had a part to play.

But that's it! I have always still really enjoyed sex with him, I do, although it never really results in anything for me! So I'm ashamed to say I have always faked it, as when we were first together obviously I didn't want to make him feel bad, and then it had just been too long etc. So after we got married, I tried just not doing anything, not faking it but not actually adressing the problem. he was very confused as to why I suddenly couldn't climax anymore, and this had the opposite effect and he became very insecure and we pretty much just stopped having sex!

So, I shot myself in the foot and just faked it again. And we have sex around 5 nights a week and Dh is back to thinking he is an absolute sex god , have I set myself up now for the rest of my life eh? There is no way I can just tell him after all of this time. I mean, is this normal? i did read somewhere that not many women ever reach orgasm...is that true? Tell me it is, and that I'm not missing out! Hehe. Thankyou all!

[SpicedGerkin]

The love honey website is good too. (so i've heard, very discrete. )

[BelleDameSansMerci]

Have you tried the "cat" position here and on other sites. Instructions not quite how I thought but gets rave reviews!

I'm easily pleased so not able to comment on if it is as effective as reported IYSWIM.

[AnyFucker]

penetration has never done it for me, tbh, although I love it

its allllll about the love button , treated gently

[MrsMontague]

That's it anyfucker, gently. He rubs away until I'm raw!

Lots of ideas here anyway, I am definitely gonna give that alignment thing a go, possibly tonight. And I think bringing some toys into the bedroom might help, thank god for mumsnet eh? I could never have this conversation with anybody in RL, I'd be too worried it would get back to my poor DH!

[LittleWhiteWolf]

Not read all the responses, but do you go on top? Its one of the best positions for the female climax--leaning forward slightly means the clitoris is stimulated and YOU'RE in control of the speed, the amount, the pressure.
You may have to be patient if its not a common position as your DP may get a little, erm, excited before you, but persist, its worth it. Also its a great form of exercise!

I'd say I orgasm 99% of the time when I'm on top--the 1% being if DH gets a bit too excited

Alternatively, my sister told me (we have that sort of open relationship) that she never came with her ex, until he was done. Then he would go down on her and that would finish her off.

[AnyFucker]

if my DH is too rough (and it doesn't have to be "rough", just a bit too enthusiastic), it just numbs the area and ruins the moment

so I subtly move away, or switch the focus to him for a while

some things a little bit rough are ok...but where the LB is concerned, it has be gentle

[Bigpants1]

I think a lot of women find they dont orgasm through penetration. If your dh doesnt "do it for you" with fingers, have you/ do you have oral sex? Its great for climaxing, and you can just concentrate on the sensations and relax. Agree vibrators are good for "hitting the spot"-some are more frightening and noisy than others!!

[bluecheesefiend]

I just wanted to add that that thing that Pinpro mentioned is just marvelous!

[AnyFucker]

did prinpo's very shy post mean a cock ring ?

if so...go for it

[Prinpo]

Well, kind of a cock ring with a mini clitoral stimulator attached (maybe they all have that, I don't know). Not tried it but it looks good (insert frisky emoticon).

[jasper]

is the DESIRE there?

[14hourstillbedtime]

I third carmenjones and petisa - I just don't come through penetration alone (though I definitely enjoy it!) never have. don't think I ever will. don't mind! BUT, I nearly always orgasm when we have sex as I masturbate myself, DH is usually, ahem, busy up on top and we have a fab time.

Also, oral - but takes much longer for me. Nice when I let myself get into it, though!