To think I might be allowed one little holiday a year, for my birthday?!

[ThePFJ]

My DH goes out until very late every Friday night roleplaying with his friends, and goes away four times a year for a week each time camping with his 'live action roleplay' crew. I rarely go out, because I don't have many friends in this area yet, and this doesnt bother me. However, I want to go away this weekend with some old girlfriends of mine shopping in Birmingham, and it falls on my birthday. Because on his last birthday we had to spend a small amount of his birthday money on emergency groceries for our toddler, HE is throwing a FIT about me going away and spending money on my birthday. I have also been seriously ill the last 6 months and now I am recovering I REALLY could do with some time out. I KNOW he is being unreasonable right?

Please someone give me permission to tell him he can go %&$% himself.

Thanks. xxx

permission given - tell him to catch himself on and have a lovely birthday.

Permission granted.

Now go book traintickets/hotel/confirm with friends/pick outfit to wear....

Well, you definitely have MY permission.

Thanks, I knew I wasnt being a selfish person. Men are SO GRRRRRRRRRRR sometimes!!!! >.

he sounds very childish and immature especially re his birthday money

you don't need permission to go out FGS!

you say "H, i am planning a trip out with my mates this weekend - i will be back at xxx pm"

end of story

So he is objecting to you goign out? Do you both live in teh dark ages? Mumsnet never ceases to amaze me.

I think its more the 'spending of our money' on my birthday thing. I think after all you girls have kindly said its time for me to have it out with him. Wish me luck.

Does he ask your permission when he wants to go out? I'm guessing not.

You most definitely are not BU! If he 'objects' then he really has a problem IMHO and needs someone to tell him how things are in the 21st century.

Start planning your weekend now!

he spends money on his activities

why on earth shouldn't you?

am boggled to be honest

You do know that this isnt an equal partnership don't you? It sounds like shit to be honest. You also sound rather accepting of it. What's he like in other things?

EXACTLY! And he gets to DO way more than me. I dont have a problem with him going out etc. I LOVE my time on my own with my little boy. Maybe he has some deep seated Birthday issues?!!?

So he has four weeks a year on holiday and you have...erm...none?

What a charmer.

maybe he's just a wanker..

Work out how much his little outings and role playing type stuff costs per yr and tell him you are claiming the same amount back for yourself.

Sometimes things like this make me feel very smug about my husband, he's the type to be telling me I should go ahead and do these things, I'd prob hold back normally. He's trying to convince me that I shouldn't spend all of my birthday/Christmas money on buying stuff for our first baby, he thinks its unfair on me. My argument is that apart from a few maternity clothes there is little I want/need so it might as well go into the family! I think we'll compromise though.

I would just go ahead and book it/do it. If he kicks up a fuss give him what for over the amount of leisure activities he does etc. Meanie!

He's normally great with most things. AND he's a great father, couldnt hope for more. But this morning he went HELL BENT on this and really upset me. Felt so Erghhhh... Had to come on mumsnet to talk....

BTW, why shouldn't he spend a little of his money on a family emergency??!! That wouldn't bear mentioning in my view!

I'm not sure I understand what he's objecting to. Is it that you will be spending money? Are you both broke at the moment? Is there no money for this?
Is it that you are going out and he objects to this?

he may be a great father

but he sounds like shite partner at the moment

why did he go hell bent?

You have my permission too. Tell him to cock off.

I would! Emergencies are far more important! I agree with you on the buying stuff for baby as well... I love spending money on my little one when I dont really have anything in mind for myself. Sometimes men are just men I suppose.... Will plan my weekend. Stuff him.

Please don't excuse him because he's a man. It's not "man" behaviour, it's him being an arsehole.

my man doesn't behave like that

not a man thing ...

It's the fact I will be using birthday money from my family to go away and he had to use some of his on an emergency last time he had some from my family. I dont know why in his head this is an issue. I really dont understand it.

'Sometimes men are just men I suppose.'

That's a cop out, your man is behaving like a twat not a man.

I'm pressuming his little jaunts and the role play isn't free, i agree with the poster who said to tot that up and point out that he gets all that so you'll be off for the weekend had he can cock off!

So he used some of his money on his own child and so because of this you are not allowed to use your money on yourself. How old is he?