A month ago at a family party, dd1 aged 3 had been playing with her brother and cousins when she came to me crying saying her male cousin aged 7 kept putting his hands in her pants.
I immediately went to my SIL, the boy's mother, to explain what had happened, expecting her to give him a talking to. She went to find him and came back 2 minutes later saying 'that's not what happened, she is crying beacause she fell off the bed. That's how rumours start...' as her son denied anything had happened (as he would). I didn't see why any 3yo would make this up, but as there was some doubt I dropped the matter hoping it was a one off. The next day I explained to my kids about privacy, private parts etc.
Anyway, yesterday, another family gathering, kids playing hide and seek, I hadn't realised dd1 was 'hiding' in room with 7yo cousin (had been watching dd1 all afternoon as the 4 kids raced around the house together, obviously not watching well enough), dd1 came out of room crying and saying she wanted to go home. I asked (without leading her) what had happened, she told me 7yo had put his hands in her pants and lain on top of her. Ds1 aged 5 piped up with '[cousin] keeps pretending to be nice so she won't go and he can put his hands in her pants'. Apparently he had been doing it all afternoon.
So, I told cousin this behaviour is unacceptable, he shouted 'I didn't do it, why would I do that?!' and ran off. His mother was there listening, but did absolutely nothing. AIBU to expect some action from her?
Obviously dd1 will be staying by my side at all family dos from now on, but I am also worried for the cousin and his 2yo sister. SIL seems to think he has done nothing wrong, perhaps thinks this is just innocent exploration? I think it goes beyond that and needs addressing ASAP. Have asked DH to speak to cousin's father (his brother) but DH is worried his brother, who has a terrible temper, would make things worse.
Thinking of inviting cousin for tea as an opportunity to give him a talking to myself. What would you do?