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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my co-worker could have washed my ONE cup when she did all her dishes?

48 replies

Jacksmama · 13/02/2010 18:36

Co-worker had a sink full of dishes a few days ago, did them... and left my one coffee cup in the sink.

AIBU to think that's really bloody petty? She's done this a few times, DH works with her occasionally and said that the day before, she'd done all her and her client's cups and left his soup bowl sitting by itself in the sink. WTH? If you're doing dishes anyway and have a sink full of water, why not do one cup or one glass or one bowl even if it's not yours??? We always do all the dishes when we do our own, regardless of who used them.

I'm really aggravated about this, and I'd like to bring it up with her - any suggestions for how to bring it up without provoking a nasty scene would be appreciated. I mean, I'm not going to storm into her office and say "you cow, would it kill you to wash my one cup??" (even though I'd like to). Part of it is that I'm really curious as to why someone would do this... especially someone who is capable of amazing kindness (she made us chicken soup and brought it to our house last week when we all had the norovirus). And yes, I do realize that in the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal... but it pisses me off anyway.

So, AIBU, and WWYD?

OP posts:
kinnies · 13/02/2010 18:39

I wouldnt do anything.

It a bit odd, but not worth a row about.

CleverCircusFlea · 13/02/2010 18:40

Can't you wash your own cup?

differentID · 13/02/2010 18:41

YABSlightlyU

Maybe she has been taken advantage of in the past. It has happened to me where it got to the stage every effer left their one cup for me towash.

Morloth · 13/02/2010 18:44

oooooh the work washing up, absolute minefield. If you just have the one cup why don't you wash it up when you put it in the kitchen?

Speaking as a previous office junior who had to do all of the stupid washing up...

cakeywakey · 13/02/2010 18:45

YANBU to wonder why she does this, but I think it would be unreasonable to bring it up - you'll sound really petty and mean-minded.

Rather than leaving your cup by/in the sink, just wash it up and then you won't get wound up about it anymore.

dittany · 13/02/2010 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Earlybird · 13/02/2010 18:49

Do you ever wash her dishes? Do you do things like bring soup to her when she is sick?

Maybe she's petty, or maybe she feels someone needs to go out of their way for her.

Btw - do you think she knew it was your cup?

Disenchanted3 · 13/02/2010 18:53

erm why don't YOU was your cup? I woudn't throw MY cup in the sink and exopect someone else to wash it

Booyhoo · 13/02/2010 18:57

it sounds to me as though she is trying to make a point. and i cant balme her if she went out of her way to bring you soup and then you just chuck your dishes in with hers for her to do. next time tell her to leave her dishes and you will do them. because she was so kind to bring you soup. be an adult.

tethersend · 13/02/2010 18:58

Use paper cups.

Buddleja · 13/02/2010 19:10

YABU

Wash your own cup and tell your DH to wash his own soup bowl instead of leaving them in the sink. Lazy oinks.

BariatricObama · 13/02/2010 19:12

yabu i suggest washing your own cup and working on getting a life. do you and your dh have any hobbies?

Original poster
Jacksmama · 13/02/2010 19:18

Errr ok - did anyone actually read my OP? I specifically said that we always do all the dishes in the sink regardless of who used them, so yes, I have washed plenty of her dishes.

And if I am racing from client to client and barely have two seconds to have a wee, I might leave my cup in the sink with the full intention of washing it myself later. NOT, as was suggested, for someone else to wash. Neither does DH leave his dishes for someone else to wash. So I guess I am being unreasonable to think that if someone is washing about eight cups of their own, it's too much to ask to do the ninth cup as well, while you have a full sink of water?

And yes, she knew it was the cup I used that day. We were the only two in the office on the day I'm speaking of.

I'm honestly shocked that so many of you think I'm being petty.

And for whoever it was who asked, yes, I have done things for her - given up my lunch break to treat her low back ache, rides to and from work, dropped off her pay cheque at her house... this is not about keeping score, as it was my impression that things like that even out over time. But apparently not enough to wash one extra bloody cup.

OP posts:
BariatricObama · 13/02/2010 19:21

no really get a life

Original poster
Jacksmama · 13/02/2010 19:22

Thanks, I actually have one

OP posts:
MaisietheMorningsideCat · 13/02/2010 19:23

Ummm - if you are so adamant that you are not being unreasonable, why on earth did you ask for opinions?!

Original poster
Jacksmama · 13/02/2010 19:24

Ok, point taken - I think I'm just shocked that nobody thinks that in the same circumstances they'd be a bit peeved too.

OP posts:
Morloth · 13/02/2010 19:27

Because washing up isn't worth any real thought. You used the cup, wash it up. Problem solved.

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 13/02/2010 19:28

You actually sound extremely peeved!

tethersend · 13/02/2010 19:28

Get a dishwasher

Hassled · 13/02/2010 19:29

Actually I don't think you're being unreasonable. It's pretty damn weird. But if she's otherwise nice and sane it isn't worth raising with her.

upahill · 13/02/2010 19:36

Just glad we have a dishwasher at work!
Usualy everything gets thrown in the washer but if anyone has missed the washing cycle they will wash their cutlery and plate and nobody elses. So what [shrugs]

I may put someones cup in a dishwasher. I wouldn't be surprised if no one washed my cup and I wouldn't give it another thought. I'd clean it when I get chance. Saying that it takes less than a minute to wash dry and put away a cup.

psychomum5 · 13/02/2010 20:04

I would be peeved too, I have to say.

I have been in that position, and it pissed me off.

am mighty glad that this was pre-children, and therefore pre-mumsnet too!!!

jacksmama, YANBU.

elliedodger · 13/02/2010 20:10

Maybe she was worried about it looking as though she was trying to make a point if she washed up your cup.

I sometimes have this dilemma with the lodger. I worry that if I put her stuff in the dishwasher she'll think I'm making a point about her being messy (which she isn't). I washed up a plate of hers once and I think she felt quite bad about it. But then I have real issues with worrying about things too much and our lodger is Japanese and incredibly polite.

GhoulsAreLoud · 13/02/2010 20:15

YABU because it's an absolutely ridiculous thing to get het up about.

I wouldn't wash anyone else's dishes either - but then I never leave dirty dishes in the sink so no one would ever wash mine.

If I was in your shoes, and rushing from client to client I would probably leave the cup on my desk and wash it when I did have time.

I would write more on this, but I can't actually believe I'm being dragged into it.

To summarise YABU.

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