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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that my co-worker could have washed my ONE cup when she did all her dishes?

48 replies

Jacksmama · 13/02/2010 18:36

Co-worker had a sink full of dishes a few days ago, did them... and left my one coffee cup in the sink.

AIBU to think that's really bloody petty? She's done this a few times, DH works with her occasionally and said that the day before, she'd done all her and her client's cups and left his soup bowl sitting by itself in the sink. WTH? If you're doing dishes anyway and have a sink full of water, why not do one cup or one glass or one bowl even if it's not yours??? We always do all the dishes when we do our own, regardless of who used them.

I'm really aggravated about this, and I'd like to bring it up with her - any suggestions for how to bring it up without provoking a nasty scene would be appreciated. I mean, I'm not going to storm into her office and say "you cow, would it kill you to wash my one cup??" (even though I'd like to). Part of it is that I'm really curious as to why someone would do this... especially someone who is capable of amazing kindness (she made us chicken soup and brought it to our house last week when we all had the norovirus). And yes, I do realize that in the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal... but it pisses me off anyway.

So, AIBU, and WWYD?

OP posts:

heQet · 13/02/2010 20:20

Yes, it is a petty thing she's doing, and petty things actually do irritate! Sometimes more than big things

If it is really irritating you and you want to draw her attention to it, then you could always start leaving her things unwashed, and just do your own.

CleverCircusFlea · 13/02/2010 20:36

Bring it up at the next staff meeting, disciplinary action should be taken!

Booyhoo · 13/02/2010 21:01

cant believe there is a thread about this. must have been a slow day in the office.

Original poster

Jacksmama · 13/02/2010 21:56

Ah well, to each their own I suppose. Still surprised that the majority wouldn't be irritated by this but hey ho.
HeQet, I like your suggestion but I don't think I could bring myself to do the very thing that irritates me.

to Psymum, how are you???

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 13/02/2010 22:04

to be honest - it wouldn't occur to me to wash anyone elses cups 1 or 20 because:

a) it wouldn't occur to me
b) I hate washing up and doing my own is a trouble.

Original poster

Jacksmama · 13/02/2010 22:07

LOL @ slow day at the office.

Sorry, must go wash dishes and then watch Olympics.

OP posts:

twotimes · 13/02/2010 22:42

erm just wash the cup.........though she really could have washed the one extra for you

coralanne · 13/02/2010 23:54

We had one girl in our office who always washed up everyone's dirty crockery cutlery etc.

I occasionally did it when I got sick of seeing a sink full of dirty dishes.

One day I put up a big notice. "IF YOU USE IT PLEASE WASH IT UP, YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T
WORK HERE AND CATHY IS ON HOLIDAYS"

My DH drives me mad at home. I will use the same cup all day. Have a cup of green tea, rinse the cup and leave on the draining board for next time. He comes along, fills the sink with hot water and detergent, washes the cup and puts it away.

gtamom · 14/02/2010 07:15

Everyone should do their own, she is not being petty.

CatAndFiddle · 14/02/2010 11:07

Ahh, the washing up. The most brutal office battleground. Things have recently come to a head in our office, following an unfortunate incident 2 weeks ago when tempers flared and some furious e-mails were exchanged.

We now have a mug/science experiment by the sink, that no one will own up to using and everyone is refusing to wash. Yum.

You have two options:

Continue to do her washing up with yours, taking the moral high ground.

Stop doing her washing up.

As this would pee me off too, I think YANBU.

MrsC2010 · 14/02/2010 13:21

We had a rota at work, but I seemed to be the only one doing it. So byu my day, every mug, plate and bit of cutlery was filthy with old dried food and drink. It would take me 45 minutes to do, and I hate old food etc so would always feel a bit urgh when doing it. It also wound me up impeccably when if it got to 2 pm (I teach so a lot of people go home at 3) and I hadn't done it I would always get reminded that it was 'my' day and there were no plates etc.

So eventually I crossed my name of the list and now take in my own mug, cutlery etc and take it home each day to wash. I don't even use the tea spoons! I didn't make a big point of it, I just stopped doing it. A week or so later I got 'reminded' on my day because there was nothing left, and I pointed out I was no longer on the rota as I didn't use the communal stuff.

Petty, but it really wound me up...washing up can be a battle ground. Perhaps she has been 'abused' in this way in the past?

StealthPolarBear · 14/02/2010 14:14

CatAndFiddle, take the initiative & bin it in the interests of hygiene

rainbowinthesky · 14/02/2010 14:18

Yabu. I have never washed anyone elses cup at work. I would never expect anyone to do mine either.

ohnelly · 14/02/2010 17:48

I dont think yabu. She is obviously making a point of not washing your cup because she thinks you should do it, shes the one being petty if you ask me. I wouldnt bother bringing it up though, just wash your own cup if it bothers her that much

bellavita · 14/02/2010 17:53

YABU.

Myself and my jobshare colleague wash our own or each others but nobody elses. If you take your cup to the kitchen, surely it is easier just to wash it rather than dump it in the sink.

TheArmadillo · 14/02/2010 18:32

YANBU but I have seen the rows and pointed emails washing up can cause in an otherwise friendly team so I would really try to let it go.

I am the annoying person who ignores all the 'we will only wash up our OWN stuff' emails and do it all whenever I have time. Despite not using the mugs.

I really can't be bothered to get worked up over it. It surprises me that so many can.

TheArmadillo · 14/02/2010 18:33

Though if the one person who has never been known to wash up comes in and watches me while criticising everything from how much washing up liquid I use to which order I do stuff in I will not be responsible for my actions

giraffesCantCeilidhDance · 14/02/2010 18:34

It sounds like something I would do to make a point if I was too wimpy to say it

qwertpoiuy · 14/02/2010 18:39

Very odd. Next time you're washing the dishes, don't wash her cup!
She sounds petty.

ginormoboobs · 14/02/2010 21:05

Wash your cup. If you have time to walk into the kitchen and leave the cup , you have time to at least put a drop of washing up liquid in the cup , add warm water and scrub. Or if scrubbing is too time consuming you could just leave it to soak until you have time to scrub and rinse.
Seriously , how long would it have taken you to wash just one cup?
Does it really matter?
I don't wash other peoples dishes (ok , so I am a sahm so I do atm but not at work). they use them so they can wash them!
Don't be petty. Wash your stuff and no-one elses.

BarkisIsWilling · 14/02/2010 21:55

This is one of the reasons I am not in the office tea/coffee club.

VengefulKitty · 14/02/2010 22:11

YANBU.

Pettiness can sometimes be the most irritating thing.

Seeing as you appear to be good mates outside of the dish-washing, I wouldn't bring it up. I would do as others have said and not do anyone elses, or just leave your cup on your desk until you have the time to do it yourself.

Bonnyandborris · 14/02/2010 22:12

Crazy times??!!!

In my time at work I have witnessed so many silly unnecessary falling out and arguments over the washing up, we?d be off target and in danger of missing bonus???..but no, everyone was fussing about the washing up, redundancies would be on the horizon, but, far worse, someone had left a soup bowl in the sink!!!!!!

She made you soup when you were ill, look at the bigger picture, is it really worth the upset on a Monday morning? Chill, there are far worst things your work mates can do to you?

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