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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

have you / would you get massively into debt to pay for...

66 replies

notonyournellie · 11/02/2010 14:06

...IVF?

For instance - say you wanted a child / another child so much but were unlikely to have one naturally.

There's no funding available for IVF on the NHS and you have no substantial savings. You are in your mid thirties so if you were going to do it then it would have to be sooner rather than later.

Would you say (a chance) of a child would be something worth getting into debt for, in the same way a house or car is?

Or is this something you would not even consider?

OP posts:
2rebecca · 11/02/2010 19:03

In Scotland there's funding for IVF for childless couples. Not endless cycles but you get a couple, I thought England was the same.
I would only get into debt if it was manageable as IVF might fail and kids are expensive.

OtterInaSkoda · 11/02/2010 19:05

psychomum - wow!

I know someone who has used up their 3 NHS cycles, none of which have resuted in a baby. Which is terribly sad. But she also claims they can't afford to go private, despite them having bought a brand new car recently (albeit a small one).

Up until now I've found that very odd, but thinking about it, having read through this thread, I wonder if she's had enough of IVF but feels she can't tell anyone that.

2old4thislark · 11/02/2010 19:17

NO! Apart from all the emotional and physical trauma of going through IVF the success rate is 1 in 3, apparently,not good odds.

Having a baby is wonderful but that's only part of the story. Like puppies they grow up!
All that love, care and expense and they could grow up and bugger off to the other side of the world! Hasn't happened to me but it can!

nickytwotimes · 11/02/2010 19:26

I wouldn't personally have IVF even if it was on the NHS as I just wasn't that bothered about kids and nor was dh. COurse, now I have one and a half, I think they are the best things ever, but never been broody in my life. Maybe I am lucky or just plain abnormal in that!

HOWEVER, totally understand why those who wanted a kid would do everything possible to try to have one, including remortgaging or wahtever to raise the funds.

thisisyesterday · 11/02/2010 19:33

hmm i think it would depend just how desperate I was.

the chances are of success are small aren't they. so with a sensible head on, i would probably say no.

BUT, anyone who knows that yearning for a baby knows that it isn't a sensible thing at all, and so I probably would do it, if my partner agreed, and if it wasn't going to take forever to pay it off

mistletoekisses · 11/02/2010 19:38

I think this is so hard to answer if you haven't been there.

I would like to think that I would go the adoption/ fostering route...and not IVF..but having said that, I have no concept of what it is like to want to desperately get pregnant and be unable to.

I think I would consider it if it was a servicable debt. But if it was only going to bring me more stress and sleepless nights, I would think no...

maryz · 11/02/2010 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PandaEis · 11/02/2010 19:54

i would definitely put myself into debt to pay for IVF IF i didnt already have a child.

much like hulababy i have secondary infertility and have no way of paying for IVF etc and no funding from NHS to fall back on. if it was an option for us i may have paid for the treatment, but considering we have financial troubles it would be selfish of me to suggest further financial strain to get a possible second child.

it is a personal choice IMO

WorzselMummage · 11/02/2010 20:03

Yes I would.

Broodymomma · 11/02/2010 20:32

Hmmmm I have paid £9000 so far to have my gorgeous son. Since having him I have paid £3000 for another cycle which failed. I am about to start my final cycle so in total we will have paid £15,000 on ivf in the past 6 years. This is the first time I have actually added it up!! We are so fortunate that the majority of that came from work bonuses and saving very hard - however its easy to say beforehand "we will do it once". As if it fails you are left with a desparation for "just one more shot".... We have gone without holidays/new clothes/social life and so on in order to have ivf and no i do not regret it - but our repayments to us are manageable now, would be awful to be sat here with £15,000 debt and no child. However he was worth every single last penny!! It would be nice to go out and spend my birthday and xmas money on nice new clothes though instead of it always going to saving for the next ivf
Good luck in whatever you decide

ChippingIn · 12/02/2010 02:22

Yep - in a heartbeat.

probono · 12/02/2010 04:13

I thought it wasn't that successful? I'd go with nutrition, accupuncture, all of those first.

probono · 12/02/2010 04:15

Have just read mary's message: mary, you're right. I can't possibly know.

jabberwocky · 12/02/2010 04:27

Yes, you only live once.

Littlefish · 12/02/2010 06:44

Yes, I would.

AnyFucker · 12/02/2010 07:33

yes, no question

unless you have known the sheer pain of infertility, you have no idea how to answer this question

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