have you / would you get massively into debt to pay for...

[notonyournellie]

...IVF?

For instance - say you wanted a child / another child so much but were unlikely to have one naturally.

There's no funding available for IVF on the NHS and you have no substantial savings. You are in your mid thirties so if you were going to do it then it would have to be sooner rather than later.

Would you say (a chance) of a child would be something worth getting into debt for, in the same way a house or car is?

Or is this something you would not even consider?

If I had no other children, then yes I would pay, but I wouldn't go massively into debt no. Maybe 1 shot but then pay it back before any more.

If my one shot didnt work I'd look down the adoption route I think instead - well, I definitely would actually, if no other child.

If I already had a child (I do, and have secondary infertility also, and in my 30s) then probably not. I wouldn't go into debt for it. Have been there and thought about it in recent years. Coming to terms with no second child has been hard.

Quote: "emsyj - it is perfectly easy to reach one's mid-30s with no savings, particularly if you've had to stretch youself madly in order to put a fairly modest roof over your heads."

I'm sure it is - what I'm saying is, if you have been in that position why would you suddenly think you could afford to repay a multiple thousand pound level of debt? Not, 'gosh how on earth could you get to mid-30s without savings' - more, if that's the position you've ended up in, what will change to enable you to afford to repay the debt/bring up the child.

I decided against ivf but not for financial reasons. But if some other form of fertility treatment had been available to me which cost a lot of money then yes I would have gone into debt for it.

yes, I would. Assuming it wouldn't plunge us into bankruptcy.

Have got a friend who is 41, nearly 42, and just started IVF last autumn. Other friends disapprove because she's left it too late/is single/doesn't have a secure job (is working part time while doing a master's), doesn't have her own home (living with parents) and has always been a bit flaky. But while all that is true, I really feel for her. Horrible to wake up aged 41 and face never having a child if you do want one.

Yes, but only is I was also prepared to make the sacrifices neccessary to pay off the debt as soon as possible.

Sorry to hear that hulababy

Yes, without a second thought. It's such a emotive, almost primitive urge to have children. I know that my heart would certainly rule my head on that one.

absolutely, yes

Yes without a doubt.

What Cantsupinate said. IVF sounds brutal and having watched marriages fall apart during it just wasn't something I was up for, ever. We were told that we would probably need it after 2 years with no luck, but things worked out differently.

I adore my DS now that he is here and wanted him a lot and I already love my current resident, but I don't think I ever felt the desperation that some people feel to have children. It just wasn't there. I was disappointed to find out it might not happen but not devastated. I felt much the same way during the two miscarriages I had, disappointed and physically unwell but not devastated/deeply upset.

Different strokes etc.

So no, I wouldn't go into debt to get a baby, the only debt I have ever had and been OK with is university fees and the mortgage.

We remortguaged our house - twice for 5 rounds of IVF (3 fresh, 2 frozen). We now have one dd - and a larger mortguage on a cheaper house than most of our friends. Absolutely worth it. But you must be prepared to take that money out on the lawn and burn it with no regrets - as that is what it may amount to if it doesn't work.

But I wouldn't have taken on a debt we couldn't repay. We were lucky to be able to find that kind of money at all.

would not even consider it, would rather go on a cruise tbh.

I would yes.

Yes, I would. I think a child is much more important than a car.

We spent about £7,000 I think on one unsuccessful fresh round of IVF, freezing of the 'spares' and one frozen embryo transfer that worked.

We were lucky enough to have an inheritance to use but I'd have borrowed money if that had been necessary.

I would definitely do it

My parents remortgaged their house to pay for the international adoption of their fourth child. But then they had worked through the finances and seen that they would be able to keep up with the interest and repayments.

I definitely would not do it.

Being in debt is incredibly stressful, whatever the reason.

I would.

In fact, DH and I were planning it when we found I was pregnant already.

I was told at 19 that due to polycystic overies I had a 5% chance of falling pregnant naturally. DH and I then decided to get married asap (we did, just 1yr later), and start saving for IVF, which if it didn;t work, we would still be young enough to adopt, which was our next plan.

2 weeks before we got married, my wedding nerves were not wedding nerves, I was pregnant

and since then, I have had 4 more, so the 5% turned into 5 children

we have been very blessed, but had it not tunred out so wonderfully, I have no doubt that we would have gone into debt to get the absolute joy we have from our children.

Yes. In fact, IVF is the ONLY thing I'd ever get into debt for.

No.
Because;

The odds with IVF are not good.

The stress of IVF + the stress of debt would potentially make my marriage fall apart.

As Bil is infertile, we knew it was a possibility for DH too. We started fostering after we got married, decided to not use birth control and see what happened, and if nothing after 3 years then stop fostering and instead adopt, with lots of parenting experience. Neither of us liked the odds, and stress, with IVF. (We fell pg almost immediately and now have 4 DC>)

I think that if I was unable to have children, I'd adopt, rather than go through the agony (emotional) of ivf, because there are a lot of children already here who want a family. IVF has quite a low success rate, doesn't it? And so many children so desperately need a mum and dad.

However, I have children, so what do I know about it? That overwhelming urge to carry a child and give birth might be too much for some to consider adoption, I don't know.

The problem with putting yourself into massive debt for IVF is that children are actually bloody expensive to raise, and if I'm already many thousands in debt, I'll have the baby, sure (maybe) but they'll be sleeping in my bottom drawer and wearing teatowels sewn together as babygros!

But something tells me that logic - esp financial logic - just can't beat the emotions involved.

Nope, no way.