to want to scream at people to stop telling my daughter she

[EssenceOfJack]

DD1 is 4 today. She is skinny as a beanpole and very tall. She is, in fact, the height of an average 6 year old and has a veyr grown up face, but as I have said, she is ONLY JUST TURNED 4.

So when we are out in the shops and she has a birthday badge on and people quesiton her age she gets PISSED OFF when they ask her if she is sure that is how old she is. And then when they turn to me and say 'god, she's enormous for her age, aren't you?' Like she is going to say 'Oh yes, I am a medical fricking marvel, haven't you seen a tall person before?'
I get pissed off. And DD1 looks confused, and a bit sad.

A few weeks ago I was asked 'Is she special needs' by some dimbulb twunt ina shop as DD1 was chatting away, like a 3 year old, and she thought she was at least ooh, 7, and her speech was very 'backward'.
This is now happening more and more (not the SN idiot comment but the questioning her age, telling her she is huge, or massive, or that she doesn't look her age.

I don't really want advice, or anything, just to prewarn that the next person who gives my daughter a backhanded compliment like this is going to get such an off me, but at least now I have warned you all.

Kitty - in response.

I think that tall people always seem to always get comments during their life as detailed above, therefore you either grow up with a stoop hating being taller than everyone, or end up loving it. Me and dd are of the latter persuasion obviously.

hatesponge, that is the same size the my DS2 is, however he is the smallest in his class now.....even the smallest girl seems to have overtaken him recently. I am hoping however that he is due his spurt soon!

in fact, DS2 is in 4-5 school trouser, and jeans.......his 5-6 stuff is pj's and jogging bottoms, the things that tend to shrink. (or maybe that is my washing skills).

My nephew is tiny for his age. He is 10 and from a distance would be taken for a 6-year-old. When people comment on his size (and they do) he cheerfully says "yes, people come in all shapes and sizes, don't they?"

I first heard him use the phrase when my 3-yr-old dd pointed out "a very VERY fat lady - look!" and as I died on the spot scrambling for something sensible to say he smiled politely and said "Yes [dd], people come in all shapes and sizes, don't they?"

I have always thought it is a really good way of putting it.

I have only read OP but I can say that I totally sympathise.

DS looked about 15 months old when he was only 8 and people kept asking me öh, he doesn't walk yet? Is there something wrong with him?". Thankfully he was too young to understand but it bothered me. Especially because babies do things at their own pace and these sort of comments annoy me anyway.

He's now 22 months, looks about 4 and random strangers in the street comment negatively on his behaviour (speech, way of running, tantrums) which makes me just glara at them ans shake my head. But it definitelt doesn't help with the tantrums when I try to ignore them and he gets so much attention about them from strangers!!!! Argh!

oh, and my DD, 20 motnhs older than DS is tiny and people keep asking "are they twins? look how much better behaved girls are".

Any more stupid stereotypes to tar my kids with?

I have the same thing with my ds. He turned 1 in January but looks bigger for his age and is very tall. An old bat lady at a group asked me if he was talking yet and when i replied he does sounds rather than words at this stage she gave me a wierd look as if to say how odd Grrr

we get this a lot with dd2. she is now 7, the same height as most 10year olds, and skinny as a rake.

when she was just 2 we were at dd1 pre-reception class meeting, i was asked why she wasnt in with the reception kids and in the hall with me, my reply? 'because she is 2'

her height seems to be slowing down a bit now, she is 132cm tall, i know this as we have a 135cm tall mark on the kitchen doorframe so we can check when they no longer need car seats.

when i go clothes shopping, i end up buying a lot of age 10 clothes to fit both dd1+2. dh finds the laundry confusing as he cant rely on age labels to help sort it.

dd2 also had a speech problem, which seemed worse than it was, as people expected her to talk a lot better aS THEY GUESSED her age around 2-3years ahead of her actual age.

I can completely sympathise-My DS is nearly 5 and is very tall (and solid with it lol!) and is wearing either 7-8 or 8-9 clothes. On the other hand Im tiny and am only 4ft 10 and DS comes nearly up to my shoulders...I don't get are you sure he's only 5 because he actually looks and sounds much older but I get are you sure he's your child because it looks so funny seeing this huge child next to me!

Im assuming he'll slow down at some point because DH isn't exactly huge but it does get quite annoying! He started school in september and the school secretary couldn't work out why he was upset on the first day cause she thought he was already in Y1 or Y2 until I told her he was 4 and just starting reception!

My 5 year old daughter is very tall for her age as well, and is often assumed to be a couple of years older than her real age. There have never been any negative comments though (Possibly because she's always been pretty physically advanced, too), and if anyone did comment on her height I'd just smile and agree and point out that with my and my husband's heights it was to be expected.

She's quite shy and I did worry that being so tall and being the eldest in the class meant she'd loom wordlessly over her peers like the Chief from One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. But kids don't care and she loves being the tallest in the class. It
gives her a bigger reach on the monkey bars and when climbing trees.

My DD was always the tiniest at school although she'd been born at 8lb 4 she didn't thrive and was always poorly.People used to say to her 'doesn't your mum feed you?'etc.etc

She hit puberty and grew into a tall slim young lady who is taller now than all her friends.

Now she has daily comments about being too tall or too thin. People always seem to think they have a right to say out loud what they are thinking and that it is acceptable.

Dd1 is 9 and will be 10 in August. She is 152 cm tall, and is very slim. Getting clothes is a pain because trousers which fit in the leg (age 12) are far too big around the waist. For school she has to wear a dress, and I buy her ladies tights. It is quite hard to get woolly ladies tights, but kid's ones are not fit for purpose.

She is not quite the tallest in her class, but is the youngest. I had a lot of problems with her at school when she was in nursery. She still used to throw tantrums at the age of 3, but she appeared to be 6 years old. Even though the teacher knew she was young in the year, she was convinced that dd1 was SN.

Dd2 (6) is the opposite, quite small for her age and people expect a lot less of her. She is the second smallest in her class (and a July birthday so young for her year too). She is also quite a good reader, so everyone thinks that she is marvellous.

She is marvellous, but so is dd1

Oh yes, and both my dd's walked at 18 months. Dd1 appeared to be well over the age of 2. Despite her slim stature, she was a lump to carry around at that size and age.

I know what you mean.

DS1 is 7 and looks at least 9, tallest in hos class. We get "oooh isn't he tall" with a quizzical look like we gave him growth drugs or something. DS2 is just 3 and is the same size of some reception children!

And "but you and DH are really tall too", 5 10 and 6 1.

Why do people think this is OK to say it to taller people but it's a no no to say it to smaller people.

Tell your daughter, from a tall gal who knows, it's fab being tall when you are older, you can look down on people who piss you off, see at concerts, look impossible glam and leggy and make the boys swoon, get upgraded for free on flights for the legroom, clothes look really good on tall people!

I say to people when comments are made 'Yes, it's just fabulous isn't it"

YANBU - it reminds me of stupid idiots people who assume that because they haven't heard of your name before, you must have spelled it wrongly!

'Nice' to know we are not alone!

Electra, don't start me on that, i have a name which is unisex, but thereis a girls way of spelling it, so they either pronounce it wrong, spell it wrong, or tell me that can't be my name as it is aboys name! Grrrr!

Dd has always been very small for her age. When she started secondary school I walked down to the school with her for the first few days as no one from her primary had gone there and she didn't yet have a friend to walk with.
On the first morning we were walking along with dd in her smart new uniform when a woman (complete stranger) hanging out of her window started making comments in a loud voice about how she couldn't believe dd was old enough to to that school, how tiny she was etc. Then she called her daughter over to the window to have a gawp too!

All my 3 dc are tall and slim. Much taller that their peers at school.

I always do as carocaro says in her post and brush it aside with a 'yes isn't it lovely'. It makes people sound truculent if they actually meant it in an uncomplimentary way.

If I feel it's being said in a critical way I add some dismissive comment about being glad they're not short.

It didn't used to bother me, but I have a couple of people who mention it again and again. God knows what they want me to say back after all these years. We must have been over it 1000 times.

The other day we were told that 'they really must stop growing now..' I just said no I think others should catch them up.

It does annoy me though. They're not absurdly tall, just tall and they look pretty good to me.

I don't go about mentioning how short their offspring are all the time And it is lovely to have fabulous legs so I assume they must be jealous.