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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset that I wasn't sporty at school?

100 replies

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:02

And to hope that dd is going to be more sporty than I am/was?

Ironically I went to a sport school but it put me off.
I was never the fastest runner and I always hated the way that netball and hockey were taken so seriously. They seemed to bring out the worst in girls; bitchy team picking (we don't want the slow one's on our team, pass it to me - not her why didn't you score that goal? etc, etc), obsession with body image and as I was a slow runner I didn't stand a chance.

I regret being put off now as i can see theadvantages with being sporty; popularity, fun, fitness and health and life long hobbies.

I always liked sports such as hill-walking,salsa, swimming, yoga and marshal arts eg Thai Chi where I wasn't in direct competition with people. I want to get back into it as I feel like a blob but dd is so young that I can only push prams etc.

I just feel like I have missed out on such a large part of life by being so bad a sport and I hope that dd is a lot better than me.

People say ''it's the taking part that counts and not the winning'' but try telling taht to a school netball team who desperately want to make it through to the regional finals.

Sometimes I feel like a freak/lazy for not being sporty or into competetiv sports but I just can't take it seriously.

OP posts:

tethersend · 06/02/2010 23:03

At the age of 32, I still wake up every morning silently thanking fuck I don't have PE today.

YANBU

BitOfFun · 06/02/2010 23:03

Just enjoy the activities you like now. I can't believe this is still bothering you.

Original poster

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:06

It is because I want dd to be good at sport at school. I just think that there are so many advantages to it.

(other issues have bought this to a fore but I won't discuss them here.)

OP posts:

Ivykaty44 · 06/02/2010 23:06

some people like team sports and others lovel spolo sports which are rare at school due to nature of school..

There is still time though to pick which types you want to do now

Original poster

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:07

Also my activities are very limited atm due to dd being so young. Like I said- pram pushing. Great.

OP posts:

Doodlez · 06/02/2010 23:08

"At the age of 32, I still wake up every morning silently thanking fuck I don't have PE today"

brilliant!

Sports can be the Devil's own work when it comes to team-picking & popularity but I'm in the middle of a big study about this kind of stuff and I've discovered smiling, eye contact and showing an interest in others (asking question and really listening to the answer) are what make a child really popular!

Teach your DD those things and she'll be set.

Original poster

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:09

I also think I am wounded by the bitchy team-picking sessions.

Surely that practice cannot be allowed today???

OP posts:

Original poster

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:10

Doodlez- tell us more about your study. I am interested and wish to give dd physical confidence that i never had.

OP posts:

Quattrocento · 06/02/2010 23:12

I'm not sure enough thought goes into teaching sport at schools. The thinking is all wrong IMO. School sports seem to fall into two camps -

(A) Competitive sports which are taken seriously and by definition alienate those who haven't got enough (or any) talent and therefore can't participate - and if they do participate they risk abject humiliation

(B) Competitive sports which are not taken seriously and by definition alienate those who have got talent and who stand there frustrated watching leaden-footed or unco-ordinated people letting the team down.

So yes, by all means lets have competitive sports that are properly competitive for those able and needing the encouragement. But let's also have lots of uncompetitive sport which is about maintaing a sensible level of fitness. Aerobics, aquarobics, stretch, etc.

I see both sides of this, having a super-sporty DD and a rather less sporty DS.

TrillianAstra · 06/02/2010 23:12

You're not at school any more.

TheCrackFox · 06/02/2010 23:14

I hated PE at school - gym slips, hockey, torential rain in the Highlands of Scotland? How could anyone find it enjoyable?

I now like going to the gym because I can "switch off" and I compete against myself.

I do hope they have stopped the team picking in schools now. It was the only subject where this was allowed. Any other subject that involved group work meant the teacher decided who was in each group.

I have said it before on MN but I think the hell that a lot of us found PE has a direct link to today's obesity crisis.

Original poster

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:16

I do think that experiences with sport at school do determine the levels of excersice/confidence for teh rset of your life. School was a powerful influence on my life unfortunately.

OP posts:

notcitrus · 06/02/2010 23:19

What Quattro said - make it about all kids being there to improve, and cut out all the bitchy 'we don't want so-and-so, they're crap' and in particular the teachers saying 'you're useless, you aren't trying' etc.

It wouldn't be tolerated in any other subject so why PE? Introduce sets for PE and differentiated goals, just like for maths. And don't let teachers write anyone off, because maths teachers can't.

BitOfFun · 06/02/2010 23:20

Oh I always got left second-to-last to the fat girl. Can't say it has stayed with me though.

TheCrackFox · 06/02/2010 23:21

TBh why the hell did I need to learn to throw the discuss, javellin, shot put? With the best will in the world it is a bit of a niche interest.

This type of crap interest should be kept for pupils who decide to study PE at GCSE level.

For the rest of us we should have been taught how to keep ourselves fit and healthy for the rest of our lives - swimming, jogging, aerobics etc.

I really do hope that the entire culture of PE has changed since I left school.

Doodlez · 06/02/2010 23:22

Y Y - agree with Quattrocento. The mix isn't always that great.

Team picking - certainly still goes on in the playground.

My DS was invited to a LazerQuest party. I didn't go - he was taken by other parents.

When he came home, he cried and cried and cried. He is 8 years old. The Birthday Boy's parents had let the Birthday Boy & another be the two team captains. They picked the teams. Sure as eggs are eggs, DS got 'chosen' last. One kid even shouted over "Don't pick him, he'll be rubbish!". DS, through snot and tears, asked me "What's wrong with me? Why don't they like me?". I felt sick.

The reason he wasn't chosen - he doesn't like football, therfore, he's no good at it, therefore, he's rejected.

The reason he doesn't like football - adult comments to him when he was 5 years old (his own Uncle said something really hurtful which I'll never forgive him for) and then we had the little playground Emperor(every playground has one) who didn't like DS and therefore told everyone else not to play with him and told DS he wasn't allowed to play football with them because he was rubbish.

Now then - he is brilliant at swimming! he's just be chosen for the school swimming team. He is beside himself with pride and pleasure at this. BUT.....he also knows it won't give him automatic popularity. He now knows, through trial and error, that what gets him accepted, is his ability to listen and be interested in his peers. They're catching on to DS now because they're realising he is a 'nice' and 'kind' boy, they can rely on.

OrmRenewed · 06/02/2010 23:24

I know exactly what you mean. I have team sports which were all that was on offer at school. It took me until my late 20s to realise that there were some activities that weren't competitive as such. I now run for miles and love it. I also love yoga.

Original poster

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:26

Team picking should be banned. Normally pe teachers who do this are right bitches seriously misguided.

I teach English and I put the kids in groups. I never let them pick. it would take all day.

the girls actually used to fight over having me in their teams ''we don't want her-you can have her type thing!''

Did the pe teachers step in? Did they fuck. (slightly bitter emoticon).

OP posts:

hotcrossbunny · 06/02/2010 23:29

YANBU! I hated sport at school and had a mum who would write a letter to get me out of it without needing much persuasion. The sports teachers were only interested in the sporty children and how likely they were to win in inter school competitions.

Having friends with dcs in private schools however, they seem more geared up to sports-for-all rather than for the chosen few, but I might be missing something. My friend's non-sporty ds regularly represents his school at rugby, albeit in the B-team, and seems to love taking part. Is this the answer? Allowing children to participate within a similar ability group, rather than writing off the slower/less able ones????

I am embarrassed at my non-sportiness to this day, and desperately hope dd(6) has a better experience of school sport.

Quattrocento · 06/02/2010 23:33

The other thing about many of the competitive sports that are taught at schools is that most of them are sports that can't be continued much beyond the age of 30 (thinking rugby, football, netball and hockey). I mean what is that all about really? Why don't they do piles more swimming and tennis - both sports which can be continued well-nigh forever ...

Original poster

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:35

My school offered a huge rabge of sports with fantastic facilities but all the jocks monopolised the facilities and sneered at scrawny kids like me who wanted to try to use them.

I do like excersise but i am frustrated taht I can't as dd is so young and I do feel like I missed out.

OP posts:

Original poster

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:36

range

OP posts:

Doodlez · 06/02/2010 23:39

Posh - you can do loads pushing a pram! Walking is fab and the kids love it, the faster you leg it!

Also, yoga and aerobics in the living room when baby is in bed/taking a nap.

You could consider it as 'priming' yourself until your DD starts school, when you can fit more in! AND.....if you do sports with her, in the park or garden, it will help her no end! (Says me who balks at anything more energetic than walking upstairs to come on the PC)

A, B, C, and D teams at our school.

herjazz · 06/02/2010 23:40

yeah I was the absolute duffer, last to be picked etc etc.. I found it rather funny and revelled in my hopelessness (kicking down the hurdle then stepping over it rather than bashing me shins up trying)

I did get quite into the gym in my 20s though - think it must have been a shock to anyone from school seeing me all lithe and buff!

UnquietDad · 06/02/2010 23:41

"At the age of 32, I still wake up every morning silently thanking fuck I don't have PE today"

heh-heh, me too.

If you were crap at Maths or French, the teachers would expend endless effort helping you to try and get better and working on the basics.

If you were crap at PE, it was your own bloody fault and you had to put up with utter misery.

Organised "games" at school belong in one of the outer circles of Hell.

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