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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be upset that I wasn't sporty at school?

100 replies

poshsinglemum · 06/02/2010 23:02

And to hope that dd is going to be more sporty than I am/was?

Ironically I went to a sport school but it put me off.
I was never the fastest runner and I always hated the way that netball and hockey were taken so seriously. They seemed to bring out the worst in girls; bitchy team picking (we don't want the slow one's on our team, pass it to me - not her why didn't you score that goal? etc, etc), obsession with body image and as I was a slow runner I didn't stand a chance.

I regret being put off now as i can see theadvantages with being sporty; popularity, fun, fitness and health and life long hobbies.

I always liked sports such as hill-walking,salsa, swimming, yoga and marshal arts eg Thai Chi where I wasn't in direct competition with people. I want to get back into it as I feel like a blob but dd is so young that I can only push prams etc.

I just feel like I have missed out on such a large part of life by being so bad a sport and I hope that dd is a lot better than me.

People say ''it's the taking part that counts and not the winning'' but try telling taht to a school netball team who desperately want to make it through to the regional finals.

Sometimes I feel like a freak/lazy for not being sporty or into competetiv sports but I just can't take it seriously.

OP posts:
scrappydappydoo · 07/02/2010 15:54

YANBU - One of the reasons I hated me (private) secondary school was the whole attitude of the school was if you're not good at something its not worth doing. Hence I didn't actually do PE - I just got told to sit on the sidelines and read a book. Same with Maths, French, science, languages and especially Music where I was told at age 12 on 1st day at the school to mouth the words and she never wanted to her my voice again

20 years on - we're thinking of moving back to that area and my mum suggested putting by dd in the school - the thought of even visiting it makes me feel physically sick.

I am terrified of my daughter going to school anyway and being subjected to this kind of negativity and it having the same effect on her self esteem that it had on mine. Don't know what the answer is except to love your daughter for who she is and for her strengths and positives not matter what she is good/bad at.

(sorry that was long)

sarah293 · 07/02/2010 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

scrappydappydoo · 07/02/2010 15:58

(and riddled with spelling mistakes - must preview more)

MayorNaze · 07/02/2010 16:20

was in top 5 of year (200+) for gymnastics and any athletics that didn't involve throwing

anything else was utterly crap at and so branded uncool and rubbish by teachers and trendy hockeystick types

howver i see some of the hockeystick cheerleader types round town these days and they are all fat with cigs hanging out of their mouths. i am thin and i don't smoke [unnessecarily smug emoticon]

ButterPie · 07/02/2010 16:27

I'm not usually one for misery lit, but this had me in floods of tears even before I had the children!

ButterPie · 07/02/2010 16:37

I HATED PE. Absolutely hated it. It is enough to make me upset now thinking about it. Skantily clad, in the freezing cold, being shouted at and ridiculed not only by the other kids, but the teachers as well, as you gasp for breath or try your hardest and still fall over? That's if you can get changed in the five minutes provided (I'm dyspraxic, the uniform had shirt buttons, sleeve buttons, a tie, tights, and people felt the need to hide my stuff "for a laugh" because I didn't feel the need to roll my skirt up at school)

I didn't mind the sessions in the gym or the dance classes so much, even though I was just as rubbish, it was the HORRIBLE competitive sports. And the getting changed, although I suppose that couldn't be avoided.

Turniphead1 · 07/02/2010 16:39

posh I feel your pain .... I was hopelessly unsporty at school due to lack of natural talent and also having limp due to Con Dislocated Hip at birth...
My DD doesn't have CDH so really hoped she would be sporty...but alas not! Still, as long as she enjoys herself at games that's good. And she has inheritated some of my other skills (as well as some of her own!)

ButterPie · 07/02/2010 16:45

I eventually cottoned on that the punishment for messing about (read: not being quick enough) when getting changed was to go and sit in the lovely warm history room reading really interesting history textbooks...guess what i did from then on!

differentID · 07/02/2010 16:49

I was also the last picked.Just because I was one of the bigger kids.
It improved after a few weeks but then I was made to choose between the sport side of things or music and drama. Music and drama won.
Once again, I was left at the side till last.

I feel disappointed I was let down so much by the sports department, especially with the attitude when I said that I would prefer to do choir than hockey especially when the Junior girls hockey training was deliberately scheduled for the same day as Junior girls choir.

5Foot5 · 07/02/2010 17:10

BitOfFun: "Oh I always got left second-to-last to the fat girl. Can't say it has stayed with me though. "

No that was me! And when they were dithering between which of us to go for next I always thought "For goodness sake, I might be pretty useless but at least I can run about the pitch quite a bit"

TBH I really didn't care about PE and grew up with a healthy contempt for all things sporting. Apart from putting on the boots and going for long, long walks in the hills but that's different!

As DD has got older I think she has inherited the familty attitude to PE. She did surprise me though this w/e by announcing that there is a inter-house Netball competition tomorrow and she is on the team! On closer questioning she did admit there are only 8 girls in her form - and of course you need 7 for a netball team.. Oh and someone else actually requested that she was only picked as the sub....

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 07/02/2010 17:52

I feel like I have missed out on general health and fitness.
What schools should do is make sport fun and accessable.
They should still have competetive sports which the jocks can do and then they should make it a laugh for everyone else.
Everyone says it's the taking poart that counts but everyone knows it's a lie and that when it comes to sport esp. in schools- it's the winning that counts.

I am so sorry to generalise and apologise if you are a PE teacher but the PE teachers in our school were a special er 'breed' and some of them encouraged the bitchiness. One teacher threw a netball at my back as I was talking when she was.

OP posts:
UnquietDad · 07/02/2010 18:06

Our PE teachers were sadistic thugs and enjoyed making those of us who were no good at it feel ridiculed. It switched me off competitive sport for life. "Picking teams" was excruciating because you always knew who was going to be last.

OurLadyOfPerpetualSupper · 07/02/2010 18:11

If we're dwelling on playing-field misery, I remember the day I completely stopped running, having previously found it the only thing I didn't mind doing as it didn't involve any particular skills, so you weren't under pressure, and you could have a chat with your mates while going round the track.
Think I was y10 so 14-15. Boys bunking off from the nearby boys' school used to hang around the corner of the field, and on this day they shouted 'look at the size of them!' - didn't take long to realise they were referring to moi and my 32ffs (no sports bras then and I was in a 36c anyway, so minimal support).

Don't know how but I managed to avoid running after that.

differentID · 07/02/2010 18:28

Anyone else remember the misery of cross country? and not being allowed to wear tracksuits? So mid winter, through muddy woods/ fields in traines and old fashioned gym knickers.

I hated it.

PE uniform was always going to be a sore point for all of us.

onlyjoinedforoffers · 07/02/2010 18:43

i quite liked cross country me and my cronies would lag at the back having a fly smoke then about 100 yards from the end do an olympic breaking sprint and be first into the showers(carbolic soap). I cringe when i think of team picking though i was often the captain and got to pick and when i think of those poor girls left at the end i could cry

pointydog · 07/02/2010 18:47

There are advantages to lots of things in life. It's a bit daft to focus on one thing that you didn't like and then fret that your dd won't like it.

You need a little positivity.

pointydog · 07/02/2010 18:50

SOme people like sport and thrive on competition. Some don't. We just need to accept that.

KnottyLocks · 07/02/2010 18:53

Hated some sports, liked others. Detested cross-country until we worked out a slight detour would take us past the cake shop

lisianthus · 07/02/2010 19:09

My fist memory of PE was in year 2 when in netball the scary sports teacher broke one of my fingers due to the force with which she threw the netball at me. I caught it though. Where do they find these people? I guess the counter argument would involve phrases such as "killer instinct" and "drive to win".

differentID · 07/02/2010 19:10

lol knotty.

karen2205 · 07/02/2010 19:10

I think everyone has something they're not so good at and it may well be that your daughter takes after you and isn't good at school sport. Learning how to deal with failure is important (I know people who claim to have never failed at anything until they went to university - if you've never failed at something or found anything difficult, you don't have the skills to learn from your mistakes/ability to put your failure in context)

I wasn't good at sport at school either - always the last picked for teams, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't achieve more, but it's not something I'm upset about now - it's just one of those things. I'm not good at competive sports, on the other hand there are lots of things I am good at, so shrugs

I live in hope that school PE has improved since I was there and will improve much more before I have children and they are old enough to attend school!

spiderpig8 · 07/02/2010 19:30

I was truly rubbish at PE at school , but I really enjoyed it anyway.
OP I think you should be very careful of pinning ambitions on your daughter like this

Original poster
poshsinglemum · 07/02/2010 19:45

I'm not pinning ambitions on her and I'm not going to be pushy or live my dreams through her (as I never had sporting ambitions anyway) but I would be chuffed if she was good at sport as I think that sporty people have it easier especially at school.

OP posts:
MayorNaze · 07/02/2010 19:51

although as i posted i do not have fond memories of school pe i don't think you should let it ruin your persepctive of all sport and exercise - plenty of other classes etc you/your children can do away from school

ibbydibby · 07/02/2010 19:53

Like spideroig8 I was not good at sport but enjoyed it and would have loved to have been picked for any team representing the school (closest I got was reserve in the long jump in the town sports competition when I was in the junior school. I wasn't needed, sadly)

Was particularly hopeless at discus and shot put - I have the skinniest arms in the world, and one of my most miserable sporting moments was when I learnt from a friend that the PE teacher had said to a group she was doing shot with "this is how does it", and then did a v pathetic throw. I wished I had complained, I certainly don't think she would get away with it now.

Anyway DS1, like me, not v good at sports but likes it. DS2 better, wanted to go to football, took him to after school football when in Yr 1 - but as he spent most of his time skipping round the area on the pitch wherever the action wasn't happening, we stoppped after a term.

Though I too would love them to be sporty, I think it is more important for them to be happy.

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