to by irritated by my nursery's attempts to potty-train my children before I wish to?

[parakeet]

I accept there are lots of different approaches to potty training. But with my first daughter I did the "start late then go in with all guns blazing" technique. It was pretty successful and I would like to do the same with my second daughter, so I was planning to wait til this summer, when she will be 2 and three quarters, before I even show her the pot.

The manager of my nursery, however, seems to prefer a "start early and gradually" approach, and is trying to foist this on my second child (just as they tried to with my first). I have just discovered on one of her daily sheets that she did a poo in a potty today - "Gold star". Well thanks, but what was she doing on a potty in the first place? She's only 2 and 3 months.

I am planning to have words. Before I do, is this standard practice at nurseries, to just stick toddlers on potties willy nilly, so to speak, without getting parents' permission first?

Thanks for any replies

Have to add, dd started maternelle in Belgium at 2.5. For this they have to be dry. I was dead worried and had no idea how the teacher would cope with toiletting 20 children. DD had about 3 accidents at school ever. I still don't know how they manage it! It works though.

Good lord a harsh reaction here!

On basis of original post, she shouldn't have had children? And she should look after them herself and not put them in a nursery?

Crumbs.

Anyway IMO OP is not BU. She has a method which works for her - wait until child deffo ready then out of nappies full stop and just do it.

If nursery are getting the DD onto the potty (rather than DD asking) then effectively they have pre-empted this and forced OP to do it now ie pants off job done in the middle of winter, loads of piss to clear up, when they have an accident outside in the freezing cold it's worse in winter etc etc.

I have a friend who took the approach of starting and keeping at it when she felt child was ready, they were having accidents for a year. I waited until DD was ready, done over half term.

I do not think it is helpful to force OPs hand like this, you need to work yourself up to it, choose a time when it's not too stressful as let's face it there will be accidents and you have to be right on it, offering potty/toilet frequently, praising stickers whatever it is.

So IMO YANBU and you have had a very harsh response here.

She shouldn't have had children? FFS what is going on on MN lately.

unnecessary op bashing.she has only expressed a preference.which is fair enough.routinely parents express nursery preferences
nap - no nap
foods preference eg veggie

should they all be told to fall in line with nursery doctrine and homogenise

You feel that the potty training has been taken away from you, I can understand that, it's your child and even if you choose to put her into nursery doesn't take away the fact that she's your child and you have every right to do with her what you want.

But also, she is in the nursery environment and they will encourage her to use the potty. There is no harm in this really as it gets her used to the idea of using the potty early.

Also, I know you want to do the same as you did with your first, but they may be completely different and what worked for one may not be the best approach with the other.
Also, there's an element of what you want to do, which I understand totally, but if your dd is showing signs of potty training go with it.

My dd1 was potty trained late, but dd2 trained herself at 2 and ds also trained himself at 2 to my surprise. I would have left it later as I wouldn't have thought he would be ready at that young age, but as he was asking to go to the toilet, I had to take him.

See how it goes at home with the potty you'll know if she's properly ready or not.

see this as a learning curve, and see the positives that have come from it - your DD did a poo in a potty at her nursery. I can't imagine the nursery staff restrained her and forced her to do it, as others have said it's more than likely peer pressure has made her want to sit on the potty.

I do agree with you though, they let you know when you are ready.

I would not be one bit pleased - my DS1 was put under so much pressure by his CM to be clean and dry that I am still dealing with the fall out 8 months after leaving her. It made him extremely anxious, and the ONLY reason she wanted to train him was his age - he was not ready in any way.

I wouldn't mind the scenario of the child asking to go (peer pressure can be great!), but I would not like a non-training child to be pressured. YANBU, I think a gradual approach is a waste of time.

I would bloody love it if my DS used the potty/toilet at nursery. He's 2.6 and PT is NOT going well...if I ask/cajole/try to bribe him he just says "No thankyou mummy, I would like a nappy please. I am a little boy, not a big boy."

ARGH. Sorry OP, not terribly helpful of me!