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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

smelly old ladies in hospital......

91 replies

psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 12:19

why can;t the nurses make them smell better??

is that not part of their job??

they help do bed baths on those stuck to bed, and change dressings, catheters, tubes going into/out of body parts, so why why why can they not help the little old lady opposite me who smells really bad.

she is mobile, but confused, and it isn;t fair, on her or anyone on the ward. it is such a shame.

I am sure if she had her younger self here, she would be horrified at the treatment.

I hope like hell that this never happens to me....it is hard enough losing dignity right now being stuck in here and having to go on commodes etc, without looking to the furture.

for her.

OP posts:

coldtits · 03/02/2010 12:20

HAs she refused care? because if she refuses to have personal care from the nurses they aren't allowed to wash her against her will.

memoo · 03/02/2010 12:20

Are you in hospital?

ArcticRoll · 03/02/2010 12:22

The way older people with dementia are treated in hospitals is a national scandal.

Original poster

psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 12:26

coldtits, she keeps saying she is fine. they offer, but she really has no proper clue where she is, so obviously she is going to say that.

I get what you are saying, in that they cannot force her, as it would obviously scare her, but in a way, that sucks even more, and surely if she was washed and groomed, it might make her feel better, IYGWIM.

memoo, yup. have a thread in chat that flame started that explains all all tho.....

arcticroll, tis awful!

OP posts:

AleksandrMeerkat · 03/02/2010 12:28

Sometimes smells are more than just poor personal hygiene, though obviously that helps! Not much a wash will do about the smells of chronic urine infection, infected leg ulcer, fungating breast tumours etc.

coldtits · 03/02/2010 12:30

It doesn't matter if she doesn't know where she is - to cart her off to the bathroom and wash her against her wishes would be physical abuse. It's not allowed.

It's a very fine line between abuse (of her wishes) and neglect (of her needs) and most nurses will go for the method of least harm and try to get a family member to persuade her.

Northernlurker · 03/02/2010 12:33

If she refuses help then they can't compel her. That would be very frightening and most likely termed as assault actually. Yes she smells - but if she isn't aware or concerned by it then they really aren't harming her by allowing it to continue are they? It's not nice for you of course. I would suggest you ask if you (or she) could be moved because of this. This may make the nurses a bit grumpy so don't phrase it as a demand - just that you are finding her state quite upsetting and if there is a chance of either of you moving on you would appreciate their efforts. You could try drawing your bed curtains round a bit as well - that might block the smell and if there is a window have it open and wear a cardigan. Hope you are feeling a bit better btw

Original poster

psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 12:33

coldtits, you are too reasonable (meant in the nicest possible way).....I completely agree, still horrid tho.

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 03/02/2010 12:34

Sorry to hear you are in hospital Psychomum5.

Has the lady any relatives that visit?

When I was in hospital for a few weeks, I was shocked at how some of the very ill old people were treated, and was told off by one of the nurses for helping one lady to go to the toilet, despite the fact that she had been pressing her buzzer for about 20 minutes.

coldtits · 03/02/2010 12:36

It is horrid but take comfort in the fact that she probably prefers it.

I worked in elderly care for a long time and you would be amazed at how long some elderly ladies would go without a bath. One old lady didn't have a bath for 18 months. bizarrely, she didn't smell bad, and never looked particularly grubby.

Original poster

psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 12:38

northern, to be fair, it isn;t dreadful until she walks past my bed......I guess she releases the smell by getting up (IYGWIM). she is in adult nappies by the looks of things, and she is still able to sort herself out with them, from what I can see. she did only come in during the night tho, and I have been away with the physio and to loo (slowly), so maybe they are doing things for her that I am missing.

she is likely to be moved later anyway, and I am not about to make a fuss......the nurses are going through enough with the scary attacking man on guard in the ward too (well, this is a big ward, with 8 bays on 6 beds each).....the reason she is likely to be moved is that this is actually the AAU (acute admissions unit), that people come to until they know what is wrong and then you get taken to the right ward.

I am still here as there is no neuro ward in the hosp, only stroke ward, which I am not having after all. the neuro patients normally get transferred to southampton. I am happy here thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 12:41

coldtits, that is very sad.......altho I guess if they don;t know, it doesn;t harm them.

hazy, no idea yet on relatives, visiting is not till 2pm. I must say, you don;t wait too long for the buzzer to be answered here. last week on the asthma ward we did...they were extremely understaffed tho (not at the staff, at the hospital.....which is the same one, yet this week the experience is lots different)

OP posts:

mumonthenet · 03/02/2010 12:44

Poor Psycho, saw your other thread with Flame...hope you are feeling better, tis great you have a puter now and can keep in touch...so what do they think it is..was it a side effect of the medication?

Sorry if I missed this somewhere else but cannot read through the 150 pages of the other thread (supposed to be working )

What's the physio for?

Original poster

psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 12:48

no clue yet, well, not as in a DX at least, not medication tho.

they are giving me an MRI tomorrow, they are pondering MS as I have lots of symptoms that fit, altho, they also fit other things, so we are awaiting the MRI and then neuro doc seeing me. I do have low calcium and high liver enzymes tho in my blood tests......if that means anything

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/02/2010 12:49

Can you squirt her with febreze as she wanders past? I know the smell of old lady flaps well. My dd does too, just before she was discharged after having grommets fitted, she needed to go to the toilet. I took her and nearly passed out with the smell. Real fishy, pissy horror stuff. DD vomited for the 12th time.

memoo · 03/02/2010 13:02

Just had a look at the other thread psycho, so sorry you're having such an awful time.

I can sympathise re the smelly lady. When I was in hospital for a week several years ago the lady in the next bed kept soiling her sheets. Even when they had cleaned her up the smell never quite went away.

Can you get someone to bring you in some lavender oil or something. Sprinkle a few drops on your pillow and it might mask the smell a bit as well as relax you

mumonthenet · 03/02/2010 13:05

arf, yes, get someone to bring in heaps of febreeze, perfumes, pot pourri, scented candles.

You poor thing - hope you won't be incarcerated there too long. Maybe it's just underactive thyroid - they'll give you some pills and chuck you out back to your real life. Can you eat? Do you have a large boxes of Chocs on your side table «pass one over here if you can't manage them all», flowers (highly scented), a dvd player, etc....? Book?, music? We know you have MN, -hope you're ok

Hope you're out soon.

sweetnsour · 03/02/2010 13:15

Grapefruit oil with the top left open? It's supposed to work and used in hospitals - it might make your breathing easier before she's moved on.

Maybe a kind visitor could bring you some lilies too? (also known as a 'dementia deodorant' for the resistant among the old.)

BTW I'm not sure how being so dirty the smell is breathtaking is particularly harmless - wouldn't skin infections be a risk?

preggersplayspop · 03/02/2010 13:29

My nan has dementia and has recently been admitted to hospital. She is confused and is not capable of looking after herself anymore and my mum has noticed recently she has started to have an 'old lady' smell. She was fastidious about her appearance and her house before the dementia took hold and its heartbreaking for us to see her like this.

She would also be horrified if she could see herself but as she is now, she would probably kick up an almighty fuss if they tried to bath her in the ward. The carers do what they can but this is a horrible horrible disease.

PorphyrophillicPixie · 03/02/2010 13:35

I managed two days in my care job before knowing I couldn't hack it. this is one of the many reasons why. It's a home which specialises in dementia care and it's so upsetting seeing these people who you know could think perfectly well for themselves at one point shufflinf around with buttons done up wrongly, food down their clothes from mealtimes and refusing to have showers because they think they've already had one today...

Trouble is, the nurses aren't allowed to do anything should she refuse, and she won't notice the smell herself

Bicnod · 03/02/2010 13:40

Psycho I can totally empathize. I broke my back snowboarding a couple of years ago and wound up in a neuro ward in a french hospital. My god it was grim. There were no curtains around the beds and the old lady next to me had her nappy changed regularly. The stink used to make me retch

JaneS · 03/02/2010 13:40

My granny was in hospital for a while before she died. The nurses used to ask her things like did she want a drink, did she want to go to the bathroom, etc. She had brain cancer and was losing her words (its common), and she'd look confused and keep saying, 'no', which meant, 'No, I don't understand'. She explained this very lucidly to me and one of the nurses when she had a brief clear period, but they still kept saying she'd 'refused' everything and it was so sad. I know they're only doing a job but it was completely obvious that she didn't understand the question well enough to respond. The trouble was no-one had time to repeat and rephrase until she understood - nightmare.

Could be a similar situation?

Bicnod · 03/02/2010 13:41

Obv I wouldn't expect a tin to have curtains. Not really enough punctuation in that sentence.

sallyjaygorce · 03/02/2010 13:42

I worked in a care home and one frail-looking old lady who REALLY needed a wash punched the nurse trying to help her into the bath so hard she broke her jaw. She was confused too, but got her point across about being forced to have a bath against her will.

My Mum had Alzheimers and I found her wee small very upsetting. A friend sent me a bottle of the perfume mum used to wear this Christmas - to remind me of lovely scented mum. But this was certainly distressing for us - not for her. Poor mum though - her well self would have hated it and that's what upset us. But her ill self was happy as she was and hated being interfered with even wehn absolutely necessary.

sallyjaygorce · 03/02/2010 13:45

By the way - sorry to hear you are ill yourself.

Oh - I meant mum's 'wee smell' not small.

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