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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

smelly old ladies in hospital......

91 replies

psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 12:19

why can;t the nurses make them smell better??

is that not part of their job??

they help do bed baths on those stuck to bed, and change dressings, catheters, tubes going into/out of body parts, so why why why can they not help the little old lady opposite me who smells really bad.

she is mobile, but confused, and it isn;t fair, on her or anyone on the ward. it is such a shame.

I am sure if she had her younger self here, she would be horrified at the treatment.

I hope like hell that this never happens to me....it is hard enough losing dignity right now being stuck in here and having to go on commodes etc, without looking to the furture.

for her.

OP posts:
MyNewPans · 03/02/2010 17:40

When i was in Sicily, there if you don't have family/friends then you only got medical care, so no food, bathing etc just treatment like dressings, medication from the nurses.

Was a good system by and large as no imposed visting hours, f/f bought camp beds/food coolers in and the ward was happy and well run.

Original poster
psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 17:41

northernlurker, what can they do tho, in all honesty??

they needed to move me as I was in what they class as 'high-care-bed' (ie, I was in the bay closest to the nurses station, and so closest to the help, altho I was the furthest bed from said help in the bay), and I am now in the 'low-care-bed' part of the ward, and in fact, the furthest away from the nurses. they did say that was in part, more space, and I am a 'long-term' patient in a very short term ward so they (I like to think) figured this would be the nicest bed for me. oh, and I call them the least......I am pretty much not in need of help now I am feeling more confident with moving, and in fact, I am closer to the bathroom, so it helps me to be here.

the poor smelly lady is not in need of much care from what I can see, and she is insisting she is going to tomorrow......no idea why she is in actually, and she is not 'there' enough to ask.......but she does need more help than she is asking for, but the nurses really are so busy that unless called on, get on with all their jobs.....which is nursing the sickest patients, doing the drugs rounds, doing the obs rounds, and then we have the HCA for feeding us, drinking us, washing us (if we want), or helping get us to the bathroom etc. oh, and changing beds and doing the obs if the nurses are busy.

this is actually the ward also with the most nurses......but it is also the ward with the most patients as it is the next-step from A&E.

the whole system sucks......I think really someone should be here for patients like this to nurse them in a special way, as the eldery and confused seem to need different nursing to 'normal nursing IYGWIM.

OP posts:
Original poster
psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 17:45

steve, the nice male nurse, is helping her now.....she has just tried to do something but has ended up looking like she has done the high jump over the bed.....

ok, poor lady, this is really upsetting now. she is so confused, and needs too much help....poor poor lady

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 03/02/2010 17:47

Well if this lady's situation is causing you distress then they need to do something - even if it's only listen to you and explain why they can't move her. Doesn't sound like either of you should be there tbh. You've been in since the weekend haven't you? You should NOT still be in an admissions ward.

gorionine · 03/02/2010 17:53

Isn't there something called a "bed bath" ? like just washing her gently with a flanel while she still is in bed ?

Original poster
psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 17:56

but northern, there is nowhere else for me, as my consultant does not cover this hospital.

each consultant has his own ward, and so once you are worked out what is wrong, you then get moved.

problem is, the hospital has 3 wards closed due to the vomiting bug, so surgical wards are being usefd as 'out-reach' wards (I was on one last week when in with asthma before I got moved to the respiritory ward).

I am neuro tho.......the only other neuro ward is stroke, or you get moved to southampton. I am not wanting to be moved, and dr hillier is in this hospital tomororw anyway, and as they are happy keeping me here, here I stay.

I know what is wrong with her now, as they just donw drugs rounds and had to tell her to take her drugs, make her take drugs (interesting to note that forcing medication is not classed as abuse!), and had to tell her loudly it was antibiotic for her water infection.......explains the extra bad smell (she still smells unwashed, but the rankness of the wee won;t be helped if she is infected will she).

she will be being moved tomorrow to the ward of her consultant they have also just told her........they are waiting for a bed for her on there.

OP posts:
belgo · 03/02/2010 18:01

There are ways of convincing her to be washed without actually forcing her, and keeping her clean is for her own good, in particular if she has a urinary catheter. No way should a confused old lady be left unwashed for days.

ToccataAndFudge · 03/02/2010 18:05

belgo - there are no ways of convincing some.....

belgo · 03/02/2010 18:07

there are always ways and means toccata, if it is in the best interests of the patient.

belgo · 03/02/2010 18:10

if they can get her to take medication and insert a urinary catheter, they can give her a bed bath.

belgo · 03/02/2010 18:12

forgot to say, hope you get well soon Psychomum

Original poster
psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 18:13

this is sadder.......she is a widow with no children. she is actually getting a bit more lucid at the moment, assuming some of the confusion is her infection??

she is talking to the lady who puts on the TV/Radio/phone.........she gets extra TV is she is over 65, she is loudly explaining she is 76, she is a widow, and needs no phone as there is no-one to ring her as she has no children and her sisters all are dead, as is her mum.

OP posts:
Original poster
psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 18:14

thankyou belgo.

I am getting there......just need to find out why I cant talk!

OP posts:
lou031205 · 03/02/2010 18:26

psychomum5, as an aside:

I used to work in theatres in the Neuro centre in Southampton, and on the ward prior to it. It is a good Centre!! Glad you are happy where you are though.

Have they ruled out Wilson's Disease? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilson%27s_disease

coldtits · 03/02/2010 20:34

Oh how sad.

She will probaby bereally quite lucid now the antibiotics have kicked in. Infections make some people go loopy

Original poster
psychomum5 · 03/02/2010 23:34

she is still loopy

and driving us nuts this evening.....which I am ashamed to say is winding me up, even tho I feel bad for her.

lovely lady nurse has put her to bed tho...hoping she sleeps.

OP posts:
JaneS · 03/02/2010 23:51

Just read the updates to this thread - so sad. Poor old lady.

But, psychomum, for goodness' sake don't feel ashamed to say she's winding you up! It's annoying, you're allowed to feel annoyed. It's quite clear you've been concerned about her well-being, but you are not well yourself and it must be very stressful for you.

Do hope you get some results soon and get to move (maybe home?).

Best of luck while you are there x

WickedWench · 04/02/2010 00:23

What a sad thread. The poor old lady. I have a few friends who are late middle aged, single and childless and who worry about ending up like that with nobody to look out for them.

Hope you are doing ok. It's bad enough worrying about yourself when you're in hospital but I do know that some of the things you witness stay with you a long time.
I stayed in with DS for 5 weeks on a children's ward and that was heartbreaking.

Anyway, on a lighter note.. I know there was a thread a couple of days ago about Molton Brown stuff being crap but their Relaxing Yuang Zhi Sleep Mist smells heavenly. It really is fab and might mask the smell. You spray it all over the bedding/pillows. I got mine as a hotel freebie but I will be buying a full sized one! It really does help me to nod off. Even DP uses it.

verylittlecarrot · 04/02/2010 00:50

But does there come a point when someone's mental composure has deteriorated to the extent that they have the decision-making capacity of a child, or less? And if that happens, is it better to give them the sort of loving care one gives a child? Children may refuse medicine or baths, but we do impose such things upon them in their best interests - out of love. To not clean or take proper care of a child is neglect, so does there come a point when to fail to clean an adult who has lost their mental adult faculties is also neglect?

I'm torn. Poor, poor lady.

Spannerweb · 04/02/2010 01:15

When the elderly are confused to this extent, it can be tricky convincing them to let you help them get washed and dressed. Understandably, they aren?t always too keen on a total stranger trying to take off their clothes and can react quite aggressively if it?s not handled well.

The problem can be even worse in hospitals because of the time factor (or lack of it) for staff. They don?t have time to sit and gain the trust of all their elderly and confused patients, nor do they always have the time to gently coax them into having a bath or full wash. Being in unfamiliar surroundings and with unfamiliar faces, smells and noises all around them can also be a further factor in disorientation and anxiety.

Although the ward staff might strongly emphasise the need for her to take her medication, they cannot pin her down and force it into her mouth, just as they can?t force her to wash either. If her not getting washed and dressed starts to cause major problems such as sores, they will have to start considering alternatives.

Hopefully, this lady will be treated and placed somewhere more appropriate very soon where she might settle and feel comfortable enough to let staff help her with washing and bathing. Until then it?s very difficult.

jabberwocky · 04/02/2010 02:10

Goodness, psycho, I would be perturbed as well. How many patients are in the ward with you?

Ozziegirly · 04/02/2010 04:23

It's threads like this that make me have SO much respect for nurses.

I could never, NEVER deal with these things - not the smells, the emotions, the fluids, the closeness of a stranger's sickness, and yet there are thousands of people out there who do, and for not even big wads of cash, which still probably wouldn't make me be able to do this.

I don't know that I can express just how glad I am that there are better people than me out there, willing to do this job.

belgo · 04/02/2010 07:23

exactlu verylittlecarrot. You just cannot leave a confused elderly lady without cleaning her for days,, that is very unhygienic. A quick efficient bed bath carried out with privacy and respect is actually easy to do.

I don't have much respect for nurses who will leave a patient in that state, however hard they think their job is.

ampere · 04/02/2010 08:20

Belgo, are you a nurse?

ToccataAndFudge · 04/02/2010 08:42

you've obviously worked with a lot of dementia patients then belgo to know how easy and simply it is to do a "quick efficient bed wash" with their co-operation