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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to us a baby monitor in a hotel

100 replies

frekkles · 02/02/2010 12:45

Sure that this has been done before.

Me and tother half and 9 month old son are staying in a small (15 bedroom) family run hotel for a weekend later in the month. They have a lovely restaurant. They are very child friendly, and they advertise themselves as offering baby monitors. They said on the phone that they could give us a room with a baby monitor so that we could have a meal in the restaurant at night. They said people did it all the time and it worked fine.

The wee boy goes to bed about 7 and always sleeps soundly till atleast midnight. We'd be downstairs (the room's on the first floor) a few hours tops with a monitor. I don't think I'd be comfortable doing this in a large hotel with loads of guests and staff, but this seems different.

What do you think?

OP posts:

Fimblehobbs · 08/02/2010 11:17

We've done this. Shock horror. It was all completely fine.

As seeker says, there are loads more risks you will take as a matter of course.

wishingchair · 08/02/2010 11:22

I have also been in a hotel room and the door was opened in the middle of the night. Luckily we had the safety catch across so they didn't get in.

I've a friend who woke up in her hotel room to find someone stroking her feet. She asked him to leave and he did.

Hotel rooms are not secure.

Other people may be happy to leave a child in one but I personally am not. Doesn't mean I am a member of the "what if" brigade ... just we all have different tolerances to risk.

Amapoleon · 08/02/2010 11:22

I agree with Northerner.

seeker · 08/02/2010 11:28

"Yes it is highly unlikely, but the consequences are just so so high."

so unlikely it has never happened. And the consequences of drowning in a swimming pool or being in a car crash are pretty high - and they both HAVE happened!

wishingchair · 08/02/2010 11:35

I agree Seeker - the consequences of being in a car in the event of a crash are high. And you make a balanced decision when you go in a car and make sure you are as safe as can be (kids in appropriate seats, you stop if you're feeling tired, etc). In my opinion, it would be an unnecessary risk to put them in a car without a car seat (mine are 3 and 7) so I wouldn't do it.

Also in my opinion, it would be an unnecessary risk to lock them in a hotel room (but not as securely locked as you would lock the door when you're all inside ... with the safety catches drawn) without me.

PuppyMonkey · 08/02/2010 11:41

wishingchair, you seem to have disproportionately bad luck in hotels if I may say.

SarfEasticated · 08/02/2010 11:47

I wouldn't do it, but am a very over-protective mother! Makes me feel a bit faint if she is in her puschair facing away from me.
Could you arrange for your LO to stay with your parents so you can go away on your own? That way you can completely relax.

seeker · 08/02/2010 11:54

Wishingchari - what about swimming? Do you take yoru children swimming?

wishingchair · 08/02/2010 11:54

puppymonkey - you may have a point there. Still cringe when I remember staying at a hotel for a conference with all of our (very burly male) union reps. I went racing out of my room in middle of night in my PJs when the fire alarm went off. How they laughed and laughed. And laughed. They were still at the bar.

If I remember rightly, the PJs were old and had teddy bears on them.

Moral of that story: when staying in a hotel, always pack nightwear that you would be happy for others to see you in.

wishingchair · 08/02/2010 11:58

Seeker - yes of course I take them swimming. I know what you are getting at ... we all take risks. But I make sure I mitigate as many of the risks I can.

I take them swimming but I do it safely. I make sure that the little one has arm bands on and that I can see them at all times.

If I go to a hotel, I make sure I can see them at all times.

Sitting in the bar/restaurant with them upstairs in the room IN MY OPINION is not mitigating as many of the risks as I can.

TopSop · 08/02/2010 15:02

Probably wouldn't do this with a small baby, but we've done it twice with our DS once he turned 3 - once in a larger hotel near Legoland (room right at top of one flight of stairs, table in bar as close to bottom of stairs as physically possible, with monitor on table, and popping up in between courses...), and once in a small hotel (5 rooms) with restaurant directly below our room and monitor on again...

For me it would depend on the hotel and the age of the child.

DrNortherner · 08/02/2010 16:54

You can't serioulsy compare leaving a child alone in a hotel room to swimming or going on a car journey. Swimming is a life skill, and driving, for most is a fcat of life to get around, it is needed. Leaving a child alone is not needed imo.

I am not a hysterical what if mother at all, just working in the industry has put me off ever doing this.

Intestingly those of you who say you would leave a child alone with a monitor but you wouldn't leave passports/wallets/laptop in your room why is that? Because someone may break into your room.......

seeker · 08/02/2010 22:09

But swimming and going in a car are dangerous activities - people have died doing them. Being left asleep in a hotel room with a baby monitor on is NOT a dangerous activity and nobody has ever suffered in any way because of it.

scottishmummy · 08/02/2010 22:25

completely incomparable to McCann.take monitor and do regular checks and enjoy a nice meal as couple

LoveBeingAMummy · 09/02/2010 10:37

Agree its not quite the same as the mccanns however I also agree that I wouldn't leave my baby anywhere i wouldn't leave my purse.

DrNortherner · 09/02/2010 12:54

REad this

Granted, I don't think any UK cases of an unattended child coming to harm in a hotel room, but babies/children sadly do die in their sleep for many reasons. If that happenned while you were dining downstairs you may well be villified....

Anyway, I choose not to do it just knowing how rife beakins are, my child would PROBABLY com eto no harm but how awful would it feel that a stranger was in the same room as your sleeping child? Or if a sleepy toddler wakes to find stranger in room...

JiminyCricket · 09/02/2010 13:31

I have done it and i don't think it is unreasonable, but i have to say I couldn't relax and it was the fastest evening meal on record. Our preference was to have a bottle of wine in our room. But I would if I had a view of the door/entrance to corridor and very good sound on the monitor. It will be fine.

seeker · 10/02/2010 12:42

The purse analogy is bonkers. There are thousands of purse thieves - there are very few baby stealers!

I had my purse stolen from my handbag while I was carrying it - is a baby not safe in a sling????

cory · 10/02/2010 12:50

I might hesitate in the case of an older child, simply because I myself was the kind of child who would wake up and panic (or lie silently panicking= not picked up on baby monitor) in strange surroundings: I just needed to be with my parents if we were not at home. So it would depend on whether I thought the child was likely to react that way.

mummc2 · 10/02/2010 13:17

i have done this before but have also done the wait til they settle and fetch dinner up/takeaway and watch telly and eat tea in room with LO. So just go with your gut when you get there if it doesnt feel right its only a night or so.

smee · 10/02/2010 13:26

Have never done it, but a possible tip if you do decide to. Take a radio or something or leave the tv on low. That way you can hear the monitor's working (ie you can hear the tv noise). A friend of mine did this after she couldn't relax eating - she was driving herself mad and nipping back to the room every five minutes to cough loudly to see if her DH could hear her. He got the idea for the tv switching on - as she could hear/ prove to herself that the monitor was still working she relaxed in an instant.

Original poster

frekkles · 22/02/2010 10:37

just to say, we did it! stayed for 3 nights, and had a meal on our own the second two.

Had a good chat with hotel owners about it before hand, who demonstrated fire alarms and reassured us it was totally normal to them. Felt safe and friendly, and the rom was easy to get to.

We put the monitor on the floor next to the door, so when the door was opened it hit the monitor. We also used a baby monitor on my iphone, one that rings a mobile number if there's a noise. We also checked him between each course. Each time we checked him the baby monitors were so sensitive that you could hear the key in the lock, when the door hit the moitor the whole restaurant laughed at us and my iphone was calling my boyfriend's phone before he'd even stepped in the room.

The wee boy slept fine every night, didn't make a sound. Infact the only time I checked on him because I heard a sound, it was a wee toddler girl from a room a few doors away! and we had a lovely 5 course meal each night with drinks after in the lounge. Was totally fine! hurrah!

OP posts:

abride · 22/02/2010 10:39

Sounds like a perfect night for all concerned. You had a relaxed meal. The baby had an unbroken night in safe surroundings.

Original poster

frekkles · 22/02/2010 21:12

Yes. I'm quite relieved, will be going again. Lovely holiday.

OP posts:

ummtilly · 19/11/2012 14:43

Ah but 2 year old was still there? Exactly. Anyway with a good baby monitor one would hear intruder etc.

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