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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to us a baby monitor in a hotel

100 replies

frekkles · 02/02/2010 12:45

Sure that this has been done before.

Me and tother half and 9 month old son are staying in a small (15 bedroom) family run hotel for a weekend later in the month. They have a lovely restaurant. They are very child friendly, and they advertise themselves as offering baby monitors. They said on the phone that they could give us a room with a baby monitor so that we could have a meal in the restaurant at night. They said people did it all the time and it worked fine.

The wee boy goes to bed about 7 and always sleeps soundly till atleast midnight. We'd be downstairs (the room's on the first floor) a few hours tops with a monitor. I don't think I'd be comfortable doing this in a large hotel with loads of guests and staff, but this seems different.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
frekkles · 02/02/2010 13:38

the room also has a big double ended roll top bath, so maybe we'll decide to skip dinner and just have shed loads of aquatic sex?

Nice to know that it's not an uncommon scenario. Rest assured anyone who is worried, the wee boy would never be put in any situation without his loving mother thinking objectively about the risks. Cheers xx

OP posts:
Morloth · 02/02/2010 13:41

I think the chances are everything will be fine.

However, we tried it one night at a similarly small hotel and I just couldn't handle it, the worry ate me up. Ended up getting them to send our dinner up to the room for us.

I wouldn't do it again because I can't relax anyway, much nicer for us to put DS to bed and then order room service.

Original poster
frekkles · 02/02/2010 13:42

yes i agree with you ronald macdonald. There's a difference between taking stupid risks and avoiding all risks. I think I would cheat myself out of too much life by being scared of every possible scenario. I wouldn't want my little boy to grow up thinking that the worse will always happen, I don;t think like that.

But am aware some folk can't help themselves because tis their nature to worry like this, ANd that's fair enough too. I wouldn't try and persuade them otherwise. Everyone should do what makes them feel OK.

thanks again x

OP posts:
stirringbeast · 02/02/2010 13:44

I would definitely do it (and have done it many times). in fact now they dcs are a bit older we don't use monitor. We tell them where we are and should they need us they come and find us in the bar....

Obviously lock door etc. DD now gets the key card if we go to the bar.

I do have hugely paranoid moments as a mother but keep telling myself (with help of very realistic and practical DH) that it is so rare something bad happens and while these incidents are AWFUL you do more harm to your dcs by being overprotective.

Have a lovely evening. Your ds will be fine xxxx

stirringbeast · 02/02/2010 13:47

Forgot to say also - we now have 3 dcs and travel around a lot meaning we can't always fit in 1 room together, so the dcs sleep next door. What's the difference in this from going to the restaurant?

WhatNoLunchBreak · 02/02/2010 14:16

I'd say it's absolutely fine.

diddl · 02/02/2010 14:38

Probably depends how far away you would be tbh.

Room service sounds an absolute luxury though.

madeindevon2 · 02/02/2010 14:51

personally i wouldnt however i know people who have
how about www.sitters.co.uk

abride · 02/02/2010 14:57

.

Actually I've done this on a few occasions, including in a hotel (small one) in the very resort where Mad. McC was snatched (12 years ago). We had the monitor on our table while we ate our quick dinner and we went upstairs every 15-20 minutes. 18-month old slept through.

megonthemoon · 02/02/2010 15:01

I don't make the decision until I'm at the hotel and can see the lie of the land - have done it on 3 occasions, all in small hotels/B&Bs where there are relatively few guests and it was easy for me to see from dining room who was accessing corridor our room was on (so i could consciously/subconscously keep tabs on who would at any point be able to get near our toom (so I wouldn't do it where dining room was hidden from entrance and therefore anyone could walk down to our room without me seeing, for example)

I'd take your own monitor if you have one for peace of mind as you then have one that you know works and that you know how it works. Even with monitor I made regular checks on DS which I don't do when he in the bedroom at home.

The McCann scenario was a completely different level of risk (kids in open villa, backing onto road, parents a longish walk away in busy restaurant - no chance of monitoring anything) to what you're proposing frekkles.

TheBossofMe · 02/02/2010 16:49

I don't see this as that different from eating my dinner downstairs in my house whilst DD is asleep upstairs. The only proviso being that I would lock the room from the outside if possible, and definitely pop upstairs in-between courses for a safety check. There is a risk, but it is so so so small, its not even on my radar, TBH.

Fibilou · 02/02/2010 16:50

I think it depends on what the hotel set up is like.
I used to work in a big 5* hotel as a duty manager and did a lot of reception work and we offered baby listening - but I wouldn't want to leave my baby on it. What happened was that a line was opened from reception to the room and the receptionists had to monitor it. There weren't enough staff to monitor it properly and the majority of us were very young with no children so had no experience of crying babies. Also if a guest came to reception or the phone rang you would not be monitoring the line then and you could be engaged on a reservation call for half an hour. Often the volume on the monitor would be turned down as it crackled quite loudly and was irritating.

I would check out the lie of the land myself but having worked in hotels for a long time I would not assume that the child was being monitored that regularly and therefore I would prefer to just take my own monitor to dinner. N

Rebeccaj · 02/02/2010 17:44

We do this all the time, in small hotels/inns, with our own monitor. We did it on Saturday, in fact. Never had a problem and never worried about it!

porcamiseria · 02/02/2010 17:45

Oh stop fucking mentioning M MCann, gah

She wont be 2 buildings away, she'll be in the same building

just go for it,

KwanYin · 02/02/2010 18:46

I've done it in small hotels using my own monitor. I think your gut instinct tells you whether it's OK or not. Mine does anyway.

HaveToWearHeels · 02/02/2010 18:53

We are doing this on thursday, hotel has given us a room right by the restuarant. DD is down by 7pm and sleeps 12 hours solid and if you have an Iphone there is a baby monitor app. If noise is dectected on the Iphone left in the room it rings you on another mobile number. They did offer to arrange a babysitter but there is no way DD will sleep with someone in the room, I think I would rather leave her locked in a room within view than have her left with a stranger.

Coca · 02/02/2010 18:55

Agree with those saying wait and see how you feel when you get there. I've done it several times, no fire, kidnappers no problem. "What ifs" will drive you insane.

danceswithfools · 02/02/2010 18:56

I would do it once you are there and have checked out how far you are from the room. I would only be concerned about fire risk, as long as I felt that I wasn't too far I think it would be fine. When we stay with our friends we sleep in the attic and leave DD/DS up there in the evenings with the monitor on, it's the same as that really.

MrsNorthman · 02/02/2010 19:24

I think it would be fine.

My ma in law did this lots of times with DS pre baby monitor days.

Someone mentioned the monitor would not pick up a fire .... hopefully the fire alarms would

Surely once you are there you will have a natural gut feeling for whats fine and whats not!

abride · 03/02/2010 08:16

You know, it's reassuring to see that MN is starting to move away from blanket, hysterical predictions of doom every time someone discusses this!

People seem to be aware that there is a difference between leaving a baby briefly on the second floor of a small, family-run hotel, and for three hours on the thirtieth floor of the Hilton, Park Lane.

Original poster
frekkles · 05/02/2010 18:54

Yes I'm glad about that too. Was a bit worried when I saw the first reply was about Madeline McCann!

OP posts:
BrigitBigKnickers · 05/02/2010 19:53

We have done this too in a small hotel but we took our ouwn monitor with us. The table we had was actually directly below our room and very near the stairs so no different to being at home.

I don't see this scenario like the Mccaan case. They didn't have a monitor for one thing and were not in the same building.

GhoulsAreLoud · 05/02/2010 19:59

I wouldn't do it but only you can decide.

I've been in hotel rooms before where other people with keys have just wandered in and I think I would spend the entire meal stressing about what I could hear on the baby monitor.

tvfriend · 05/02/2010 20:02

Done this a few times in England and France using our own monitors and in smallish hotels. Didn't worry at all. As lots of people have said, not much difference from being at home (and smoke detectors are prob better in a hotel...)

mumto2andnomore · 05/02/2010 21:08

I wouldnt do it either to me it is a lot different from being at home.