To send this card to my sister?

[TellMeWhatToDo]

When DH and I got engaged a couple of years back, my sister sent us a really ugly engagement card. It had a couple of gorillas in wedding garb on the front and she'd simply written Congrats and signed her name inside. We got so many lovely cards at that time that I've saved (total saddo I know) but hers I put at the back of the mantelpiece because I hated it so much. Don't tell me it was sent it good spirit. It sooooo wasn't.

She hates us. We don't know why. Was totally uninterested in our engagament and unsupportive of our wedding. Behaved very badly throughout. Enough said.

Guess what? She's just got engaged herself. Would it be wrong of me to send a lovely card I've just seen of....lo and behold... two gorillas in wedding garb? And write the same message inside?

It's a horrible card. I'd never buy it for anyone else. But she obviously thinks gorillas are a nice way to say "Congratulations!"

What do you think? Get my passive aggressive revenge or grow up?

Grow up.

Well really you should take the higher ground but I suspect I would go the childish route - and who could blame you.

Send it. Get over it. Move on.

Ooooh, I'd be very tempted. I feel I ought to say that you should let it go, that you may have taken it the wrong way, that it's not healthy that you've harboured it for so long.... but god, I'd send it.

If you're wrong and she sent it to be funny then she'll just be pleasantly amused by it, no harm done. If you're right and she chose it carefully with mischief in mind then when she sees yours, she'll remember it, won't be able to say anything but will seeth quietly and you'll have won a point... ha ha ha!

And she'll also remember what a cow she was during your wedding planning and may suddenly start being a bit nicer to you in the hope that you don't continue this childish tit-for-tat game!!

I'm afraid I would give in to my inner child.

send it and you could adopt a gorilla at your local zoo for her as a wedding present

do it

shes your sister so a bit of reciprocal passive aggressive behaviour is what they are there for once in a while

I would do it and I LOVE my sister, most of the time

Send it and make sure you buy her a very naff present when the wedding comes up - maybe you could find some of that classic 'Eternal Beau' crockery shit on ebay....!

no way

rise above.

thinking of it is enough.

then if it comes to a blow out at any point you won;t have given her any ammo.

and if you send her something beautiful and thoughtful it will piss her off more.

It depends what message you want to send.
If you want to take the moral highground send a nice card with a neutral greeting.

If you wantto appear bitter and spiteful then go with the gorilla

If you can't raise yourself to be nice then maybe just be dignified and not send a card at all.

I hate presents/cards as a message of ill will. It may be clever or sarcastic but it seems hugely petty and nasty to me.

[fogey]

Agree entirely with Pag. But I like gorillas.

nothing says romance more than a gorilla in wedding garb

unless it's a weird alien looking couple like page 2, middle row

Don't bother with the high road, go with the aliens

Send it, I would.

Send it!

I'd send it and if she pulls you up on it, smile sweetly and say 'Oh... but you sent us the same card, I thought it would be funny to send you the same one back'.

Sometimes you have to give in to the passive-aggressiveness for your own sanity.

No don't do it. And stop stewing over the card she sent you ages ago.

what JustAnotherManicMummy said.

YABU.

Send this one

Well send it a year after the wedding anyway

Hey!
I got sent a gorilla card from a mate and I just laughed!
Rise above it or stay away. Whats the point of adding to bad feeling? This could be an opening to start a new relationship with her.

You can't send the same card, be original in your ill will at least.

LaurieFairyCake - Are they not sheep?

She probably won't even remember sending it to you.

Send her a really ott one with pink sequins and cushiony bits.