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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this a most unhelpful homily

34 replies

Fibilou · 01/02/2010 08:03

"the baby will come when she's ready"

I am 41+1 today and the next person that says that to me is going to get a punch in the face . It may be true but it is not in the slightest bit chuffing helpful

OP posts:
LoveBeingAMummy · 01/02/2010 08:04

But the baby will come when she's ready

belgo · 01/02/2010 08:06

YANBU. Technically it's not even correct in all cases! Many babies come before they are ready.

Hope your baby comes very very soon.

ChippingIn · 01/02/2010 10:47

Is she not here yet??

LOL - sorry x

I tell ya, book non refundable tickets to something really expensive - it's the only way!!

Tillyscoutsmum · 01/02/2010 10:50

I think any "helpful" advice at 41 weeks is worthy of a smack in the face

You poor thing

How about - "Enjoy the rest while you can" or "Have you tried curry" or just the endless calls and texts that start at about 38 weeks asking "Any signs ?"

Can you tell I've been there recently ?

WingedVictory · 01/02/2010 10:53

Your baby is not the one who's ready (who would look forward to that?!); it's your body. And as for that, you needn't think you have any control about that, either!

Have you tried: cleaning, curry, sex, a sweep, or ChippinIn's excellent idea about making plans?!

PrettyCandles · 01/02/2010 10:54

It's true enough, but it's the sort of thing you say to yourself - not what you want others to say to you!

The equivalent of "OMG you're still pregnant!" when you come home from the hospital and pop next door to show off the baby. . (Which happened to me.)

JaneS · 01/02/2010 11:32

Lol. Or better still, 'ooh, shouldn't you hurry that baby up?'

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 01/02/2010 12:28

Fibilou you really have my sympathy I have 4 DC's and all went to 41+4 and number 4 DC went to 41+5. top irritating comments were "oh you haven't had it yet then" (obviously not!!!) and "Oh babies come when they are ready" I could have cheerfully strangled anybody that made those inane statements. If I were you I would switch your phone off get yourself a huge box of chocs and put your feet up. Hope LO comes soon

diddl · 01/02/2010 14:31

Filibou, are you still having to cope with husband as well?

mnistooaddictive · 01/02/2010 14:36

To be honest at 41+1 I felt like punching most people I met for no good reason other than WILL THIS BABY PLEASE GET A MOVE ON

Hope it comes soon!

mitfordsisters · 01/02/2010 15:00

lol LBAM.

YANBU - on a par with - ooh haven't you got a big bump - is it twins?

RonaldMcDonald · 01/02/2010 15:10

bless you!
I remember that feeling so, so well.
I thought DD1 would never come and she'd be in there as a toddler

Rachiesparrow · 01/02/2010 15:29

Grrr. All the way through october/november/december I had 'I bet you'll have a Christmas Day baby!' as if that was a good thing. She came on boxing day in the end after labouring all day Christmas day. I blame ALL those people.

Homilies are never helpful, esp when 41 +. You have my sympathies.

babyball · 01/02/2010 18:23

YANBU - it bloody is. My son was 15 days late. I was waddling around in a hot summer with SPD! I think people forget what it's like in those late stages!

chegirlsgotheartburn · 01/02/2010 18:35

Oh for goodness sake! Havent you had that baby yet?

Tillyscoutsmum · 01/02/2010 20:25

Maybe OP is in labour

janeite · 01/02/2010 20:27

Homily is such a lovely word though, isn't it? Potential baby name mayhap?

RubysReturn · 01/02/2010 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Fibilou · 02/02/2010 08:22

No Diddl, he has gone back to work. I was glad he was here yesterday though as I had a bit of a meltdown and was relieved of the shoulder to wail into

OP posts:
diddl · 02/02/2010 08:25

He does have some uses then

Hope you´re feeling better today & not too down.

Original poster
Fibilou · 02/02/2010 08:45

I am so tired of it Diddl. It's not so much the waiting, it's the fact that I only have until Sunday to deliver at the MLU otherwise I will have to go into hospital even if I go into spontaneous labour. I hate hospitals and our local one is not at all nice, friends have had very bad experiences in labour there (left entirely alone for 8 hours then expected to walk to delivery when 10cm then no post natal care at all; expected to get up an tend to baby when only just out of recovery with C section with catheter still in place; baby dead through mismanagement of labour; midwife SIL working in neighbouring hospital who said she would apply to be a paramedic if they merged the units to our local one as it is so awful). Not one person I know has reported a positive experience of delivering there.

So I am really depressed at the prospect of having to go there - and the prospect of having to be induced makes it even worse. I am going to be holding out for expectant management and I will be refusing an induction until I am at least 42+1

OP posts:
diddl · 02/02/2010 08:52

That all sounds blöödy awful, Filibou.

I assume you can´t be induced at the MLU then?

Trickle · 02/02/2010 08:53

I'm just 40 weeks today with no signs of labour thought pop in and say hi.

scrappydappydoo · 02/02/2010 08:58

Major sympathies - I was the first due out of a group of 4 friends - one gave birth a month early, the other 2 were 2 weeks early. I was two weeks late... I went to them all in hospital and kept being directed to the labour ward as they thought I'd got lost . If one more person said 'still here then??' I could have screamed.. I resorted to sarcasm - 'actually yes I did just left it at home', 'is what due?', no I'm not pg just fat' etc etc made me feel much better...

Original poster
Fibilou · 02/02/2010 09:13

No Diddl, it's a standalone unit and you can only go there if you are very low risk and are no mor than 42 weeks. They don't do any interventions there at all, it's waterbirth and active birth with a very strong natural birth philisophy - eg. you have to ask for the 3rd stage injection as they don't do it routinely. They have excellent post natal care and a discharge BFing rate of over 90%.

I was prepared for the prospect of being transferred during labour completely (I'm not naive enough to think it will all be perfect and how I planned) but I really hadn't thought that I might end up in hospital simply because the baby doesn't want to come out.

OP posts: