Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not ring this person?

34 replies

LilyLovesSid · 31/01/2010 21:07

Bit of back story (sorry it's long)...

I went to the zoo yesterday for DD1's second birthday, and parked in the zoo carpark. We have a pretty old crappy large car, so I picked a space right at the end of the row to have a bit more room and to make sure I wasn't blocking anyone in. DP got out of the car and guided me into the space to make sure I didn't trash our car (or anyone elses).

We get back to the car at kicking out time to find a handwritten note on the dashboard saying:

"I don't know if you noticed, but when you have parked, you have scraped our car. We have taken your reg and would liked you to ring me on ***"

I absolutely, definitely know I didn't even touch any car, let alone scrape one. Our car is a heap, and has a couple of paint marks on it from previous dings, so I don't know if the driver saw them and jumped to conclusions. I know I've done nothing wrong, and so does DP as he guided me into the space.

So what do I do? I haven't rung the number, why should I have to? Surely they can't do anything can they? They have no proof, as I haven't done anything. I don't want to ring them, as I have a horrible temper and I'm likely just to shout 'fuck the fuck off you bunch of fucks' very loudly at them!

AIBU to just ignore the note?

OP posts:
diedandgonetodevon · 31/01/2010 21:09

I think if they have your reg. number it would be churlish to ignore it as they obviously believe you have had a prang with their car and will, of course, take this further.

heQet · 31/01/2010 21:11

certainly. All that will happen is they'll give it to their insurance company, who'll find contact you for your insurance details (or can they find out your insurer directly, I don't know) and they'll deal with any claim.

You could always call them (withholding your number of course!) and give your name and insurance company and tell them to go to their insurance, but that you dispute that you damaged their vehicle. If they try to get you to give them some cash, say no, you will only go through your insurance. That way, if they are just trying it on, they'll drop it.

mrsboogie · 31/01/2010 21:12

there's not much they can do.

LauraIngallsWilder · 31/01/2010 21:13

I would probably phone and try very hard to be polite - explain that your dh guided you into the parking space, that there is no way that you bumped their car

They may be chancers who reckon you might pay up?, they may be genuine who knows!

Dial 141 before you dial their number so they cant write your tel no down (and thus harass you by phone)

Original poster
LilyLovesSid · 31/01/2010 21:31

Thanks, I suppose I'm going to have to ring this person aren't I? I'll just have to try and stop the red mist descending!

Does anyone know what will happen if this person insists on taking this further? Surely it's their word against mine - and I was there and this driver wasn't. I don't want to be penalised and have my insurance costs increased because some person has accused me of something I didn't do.

OP posts:
mowcop · 31/01/2010 21:36

Bit of a long shot, but do they have any CCTV on the car park? Maybe you could ask the zoo?

Original poster
LilyLovesSid · 31/01/2010 21:40

Don't know mowcop, it's a massive carpark and I didn't see any, but I'll give them a ring tomorrow and check.

OP posts:
Original poster
LilyLovesSid · 31/01/2010 21:44

What bugs me is I could randomly pick a car in a carpark, write down their rego, pop a note under their windscreen and get some of my dents and scrapes sorted! Do you not need proof to accuse someone of damaging your car? I can't prove I didn't do it (apart from mine and DP's word), but they certainly can't prove I did either.

Bugger it. Getting angry already. Will have to calm down by tomorrow morning!

OP posts:
GhoulsAreLoud · 31/01/2010 21:46

I think they're being silly but don't know what you should do.

I was about to say, as if anyone would leave the car parked right next to there's if they had scaped it.

That did, however, happen to DH's car when parked in a bay outside our old flat. An old duffer badly scraped DH's door (needed replacing) and left his car parked next to it (straddling the bay and he'd actually hit the wall behind the bay as well).

We took photos but it was very obvious from the damage to his car and DH's that it was his fault. He got taken to court (after being a complete nob to DH who was very reasonable about it) and his insurance company paid out in the end.

YOu haven't done anything wrong though and I think they've been quite cheeky to say that when there's no evidence that your car did the damage. It could have been the car that parked there before you!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 31/01/2010 21:46

Is it possible the note was originally left on another car, and that naughty driver has moved it to yours? Check what kind/colour of car they reckon scraped them.

Or maybe they scraped their own car on yours, and are trying to blame you? Are there new marks on your car?

GhoulsAreLoud · 31/01/2010 21:49

I expect that if it was done at the zoo then someone parked in that space, realised they'd hit their car then moved and parked somewhere else and you ended up in the space.

I think they're being ridiculous tbh, and quite rude and presumptious. I would be fuming in fact as this is exactly the kind of thing that winds me up.

DH says just throw the note in the bin!

TidyBush · 31/01/2010 22:00

I'd say there's nothing they can do tbh.

I went to the local convenience store and parked on the shopping precinct car park. When I got back to my car a man came over and told me that he'd seen someone reverse in to my car and drive off, but that he'd taken the details of the car for me.

They'd smashed my rear wing but when I went to the police they said that, because it had happened on a private car park, it was a civil matter and nothing to do with them.

I gave my insurance company the details of the car that had hit me but they came back to me after a couple of weeks saying that they'd chased it up but that the other person had denied being there. Basically it was my word against theirs and I ended up paying £250 excess for something that wasn't my fault.

If you know you didn't do anything then I'd ignore it (they won't know if you actually got the note anyway) and then just tell it as it is if your insurance company get in touch.

RedbinDippers · 31/01/2010 22:12

They're trying it on. Ignore the demand.

Original poster
LilyLovesSid · 31/01/2010 22:17

Thanks everyone (and Ghouls's DH!!)

I'm really in two minds about this and it's doing my head in. I think if I rang this person I'd only make things worse - I don't lose my temper very often but if I feel the need to fight my corner I do it pretty vocally! - so my gut feeling is to wait and see if I'm contacted by my insurer, but I'm also quite tempted to defend myself against this accusation.

OldLady (ooh, feels rude calling someone that!!) - it would be truly hard to tell if there were any new marks TBH, the car is quite scuffed anyway so no way of knowing. Good thought though. Also think Ghouls' thought of someone else parking there before me sounds very plausible, we did get there quite late so it's quite likely someone else was in that space originally.

OP posts:
bruffin · 31/01/2010 22:18

We had a similar case to Tidybush when someone scraped our car when DH was picking up dd from guides. We had lots of witnesses but after two years the case still wasn't settled and we had to give up.

harimosmummy · 31/01/2010 22:23

Sorry, ahven't read all the replies: Was the car not parked next to yours when you arrived back at your car?

I'd call my insurance agency first - not some random number.

if they moved their car - unless they somehow had photographic evidence, I can't see how they could prove anything.

My (brand new) car was hit in the car park of a very lovely hotel a while back and there was nothing I could do about it. i'd def. stay out of it.

Involve your insurance if you feel you must but otherwise I think the phrase 'the ball is in their court' seems appropriate.

princessparty · 31/01/2010 22:27

They're chancers.Have heard of this sort of thing before.
I don't think there is anyway they could track you down anyway.

MinkyBorage · 31/01/2010 22:27

It's a cock up, they've jumped to conclusions. Call them, but approach it from the point of view that they've unwittingly made a mistake. The way you feel at the moment sounds like you think they're trying to pull a fast one.
Sugar swet "Hello, I got a not on my car from you, and I'm so very sorry that your car has been bumped but I can absolutely guarantee that it wasn't me, but what a pity for you, if it had been me, of course I would have put a note on your car etc etc".

Don't get wound up, just do the right thing. Call and tell the to fuck off in the sweetest nicest way imaginable.

Good luck

princessparty · 31/01/2010 22:30

I wouldn't bother ringing them.What good is it going to do ?

Bellasformerfriend · 31/01/2010 22:31

I beleive you ar obliged to notify your insurance of any potential claims, therefore I would ring your insurance and tell them about the note and leave it there. Ringing them is just going to open up a fight and not help anyone unless they suddenly realise they have the wrong car or something!

Original poster
LilyLovesSid · 31/01/2010 22:31

No harimosmummy, there was no car next to mine when we got back to our car.

I'll give the insurance company a ring tomorrow and see what they suggest. Seems sensible enough, at least it will give them a headsup if they are contacted I suppose.

OP posts:
upahill · 31/01/2010 22:31

I wouldn't go to the time and expense of ringing anyone to be honest. There is nothing to prove, no witnesses because there was nothing to witness. I'd leave it alone and not start any dilogue. If there was anything you would hear from them. Leave it alone.

HinnyPet · 31/01/2010 22:34

Agree, ring your insurance company and see what their advice is.

bubblerock · 31/01/2010 22:37

I wouldn't ring either - plead ignorance if anyone gets in touch, you never saw any note??

Original poster
LilyLovesSid · 31/01/2010 23:12

Ok, it's decided. I'll ring the insurance company but not the note-leaving people.

Ta muchly people, you've been very helpful.

OP posts: