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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wish DH would just go back to work

38 replies

Fibilou · 29/01/2010 07:30

I am 40+5 with our first. DH has been on annual leave for the last 10 days, despite being told that there was no point in taking leave before the baby came as it was likely to be at least a week late. He was convinced she would be on time or early so refused to be told.
He is driving me absolutely mad. He is completely incapable of entertaining himself and when he is at home is constantly demanding my attention/that I provide entertainment for him. We have been out every day since he has been on his leave and I am finding it exhausting and I refused to go out yesterday; all I wanted to do was sit at home in my dressing gown and surf the web. He went down the allotment for the afternoon after kicking up a great deal of fuss that I didn't want to go down there with him and keep him company. He has just got up and asked "what are we doing today, I can't stand being cooped up in this house". It took all my will not to punch him. I have got to the point now where I don't want to "go out and do anything", I want to stay at home or maybe pop out for a quick cup of tea. His ideas of "things to do" always involve massive great hikes (he thought I might like to walk 7 miles each way to the cinema yesterday)

AIBU to think
a) Serves you right, you were told not to go on leave yet
b) I am the one that is heavily pregnant so we will do what I chuffing want for a change
c) you are 30, surely you can entertain yourself
d) why don't you just go back to work, get out of my face then we will both be happy

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PfftTheMagicDragon · 29/01/2010 07:33

YANBU but you just need to be blunt with him because you will not get this time to rest back.

BouncingTurtle · 29/01/2010 07:36

Make him go back to work! He has already used up 10 days of his leave which really he needed to have saved for when you really need him - i.e. when the baby is born.

Unless he works hours and hours away and his employer is a complete bastard, I wouldn't imagine it would be a problem him getting away when you are in labour!

Have you had any twinges yet? Perhaps he thinks all this activity will help move things a long a bit

Fibilou · 29/01/2010 07:38

I have had absolutely nothing whatsoever. He keeps asking me every fucking five minutes "anything yet ?" which is also NOT helping. ][[[[[[[[[

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Fibilou · 29/01/2010 07:38

Cat stepped on keyboard

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StealthPolarBear · 29/01/2010 07:47

Tell him to take the cat for long walks
Or does he have friends nearby he can visit?
Or stick him in front of CBeebies
Assuming he's been on A/L is he due to go back to work on Monday?

MrsVidic · 29/01/2010 07:52

he's prob excited but I aggree with what bouncing turtle said.

However why not give him things to do- make and freeze loads of meals, do a massive shop and get bumper packs of washing deturgant, shampoo etc, get him to read and practice using steriliser etc, then car seat etc should keep him busy

Fibilou · 29/01/2010 07:52

no, there's another week of this madness left to come. One of the reasons I'm so desperate to go into labour (apart from the obvious) is to stop him constantly asking "what are we doing now, what's for lunch, what are you doing, what's that"

It's like having a toddler

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BelleDameSansMerci · 29/01/2010 07:52

Can you get him to occupy himself with some childcare books or something? Give him a project to get him out of your hair keep him amused?

StealthPolarBear · 29/01/2010 07:53

exactly - Beebies
No, MrsV's suggestions sound good

Fibilou · 29/01/2010 07:54

MrsVidic, I have done all of that in the 5 weeks I have been off. He is useless at doing household stuff, he just makes so much fuss about it and requires so much guidance it's quicker to do it myself.

What can I do with him today that is reasonably relaxing ? Take him to soft play ?

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StealthPolarBear · 29/01/2010 07:55

Right
Do you have car / cars
Have they both had their tyres / water / coolant / etc, car stuff checked?
Do you have a garage? Is it tidy?
Do you have grass? Is it short? (Don't care that it's wet and maybe also got snow on it, give him nail scissors )
Remind him he won't get time and peace to watch a film or read a book for the next 2 years so he should make the most of it now!

StealthPolarBear · 29/01/2010 07:56

Have you tried out how the car seat works with a teddy?

Fibilou · 29/01/2010 08:07

Aha ! I am going to make him clean out his 3 fishtanks, they certainly could do with it.

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Southwind · 29/01/2010 08:10

...also ask the neighbours if they need any jobs done lol

YANBU

NorkilyChallenged · 29/01/2010 08:11

Good plan Fibilou.

Tell him it's a "nesting instinct" thing and he absolutely has to get them all done pronto. Well, after he brings you a cup of tea and the remote control.

I honestly don't know how you've managed to not throttle him. What a waste of leave!

Northernlurker · 29/01/2010 08:15

Yes full marks for not clouting the numpty!

How about getting him to practice routes to the hospital - quickest at ALL times of day Plus bonus points for spotting good locations to stop and give birth in?

StealthPolarBear · 29/01/2010 08:17

has he created email distribution lists / got all numbers in his phone for after the birth? Camera bought, fully charged etc?

Fibilou · 29/01/2010 08:23

Yes and yes - there's only 1 route to the hospital and we've been there 3 times for various appointments.
Unfortunately I had a list of stuff to do like get numbers into the phone etc, charge camera and it's all been done for weeks. All that's left to do is really boring, big jobs like cleaning fishtanks and scrubbing the tiles in the bathroom.

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StealthPolarBear · 29/01/2010 08:25

well get him scrubbing with a toothbrush

NorkilyChallenged · 29/01/2010 08:25

There you go then, short of contacting his boss and asking that they ring to say he is "urgently needed" at work. Just tell him the baby won't come out until the tiles have been scrubbed and the fishtanks are clean.

He has no idea what's about to happen does he?

Fibilou · 29/01/2010 08:32

No, he really doesn't. He seems to be under the impression that the baby will sleep constantly, that I will snap straight back to normal immediately, that the baby will feed and sleep to a nice convenient schedule and will not be fussy, colicky or anything else.

On the one hand I hope he is right, on the other I am looking forward to the scales falling from his eyes.

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Casserole · 29/01/2010 08:58

I still have no idea whatsoever why he's taken his leave BEFORE the baby's born and not after?!? That's when you'll need him... what's the point of using up A/L now??

If he really won't go back, kick him out for the day but whatever YOU do, rest. Seriously. In a couple of weeks you'll be gutted if you don't do that now.

diddl · 29/01/2010 09:05

He´s been off 10 days already & is off next week as well?

Jeez-he´ll be going back just as you have the baby.

Mind you,might be a good thing as he sounds like hard work!

MrsVidic · 29/01/2010 09:10

get him to practice getting the pram out of the car, putting it up, getting teddy from car seat and then putting the rain cover on- make it competative see if he can beat his best time etc- you will really appreciate this.

Also any pets- flea worm etc

Get him to learn how to take covers off car seats etc and clean them/ adjust straps etc.

Fibilou · 29/01/2010 09:37

Diddl, if I go 2 weeks overdue he won't be there for an induction as he has a court case on the 8th and 9th Feb when I will be 42+2.

He has made a complete and total cockup of this annual leave and I am really not very happy at all about it.

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