to send a pissed off text to DH about porn?

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

About a year ago we got 3 porno films on our virgin media bill. DH swore blind he didn't order them. Virgin admitted one had been a mistake (ordered when I was only one in house so I knew it was) but the other two were when I was away for the weekend and they didn't budge. I thought it was possible that DH either didn't realise how much they would cost or that I would find out (phone bill in my name).
Anyway, I gave the benefit of the doubt but said in future if you do want to look at porn please can you find free stuff online as I don't want to waste money on porn thank you very much.

Have just got the phone bill and there is another one on there from a night I was at my parents'. DH is away with DS now so I text him to the effect of 'why the fuck have you ordered a porno when I told you not to and you know I have to pay the fucking phone bill - plus with the calls you made to morocco the bill is huge and now I have to pay it, why the fuck do you think it's ok to order porn to our phone bill'?

I relented and text him saying 'i'm over it now but please don't do it again'. So - AIBU? Is it a big deal? (not the porn watching, but the ordering it to our phone bill without telling me and leaving me to see it on the bill, plus pay a fiver for his jollies)

Kat, does his van look a bit like this?

You've got to watch those pesky moroccans.

Yeah shiney I also feel i overreacted somewhat.... (to DH, not silver). Will apologise.

Thing is, DH has major ishoos with wanking due to his upbringing. He used to be hung up about anything other than PinV sex but it seems to be fixable if it's both of us IYSWIM, but he would never admit to wanking which is why he wouldn't just tell me about the porn. I'm not sure what to do about this.

Bruxeur - PMSL

Yes, a bit, except he has a huge beard and wears a tea towel on his head.

(actually he does wear a turban sometimes - but it's turquoise so far too frou frou for the taliban)

He has issues with wanking, but not porn?

And there´s plenty free online so YANBU!

Why would anyone pay if they don´t have to?

He has issues with wanking, so hardly ever does it, so if he had had a couple of beers and decided to order a porno he'd be very ashamed afterwards. Which is why it was so dumb to order it on demand since i'd find out. Which is why I've made it worse by having a go. Lol.

But you weren´t having a go about the porn-but the money!

Well if the porn itself is not a problem for you....thrn I think yabu.

Its £5, do you check with him every time you spend a few quid on something pointless? Magazines, starbucks, a new book?

But it´s not a question of checking JV-it´s on the OP´s phone bill!

Bluddynora - do people not like to keep anything private anymore?

He's been a bit thoughtless or selfish but, on principle you don't object to him looking at porn(?), and now you've dobbed him in on the internet for the whole world to see? Thats a bit embarrassing for him. Perhaps you're trying to shame him into remorse?

Am amazed what people like to share with anyone who cares to look nowadays.

I'm confused then...they're married, right?

I would order a film (not porn - unless that what you want) relax and enjoy safe in the knowledge he will be paying you the £5 when he gets back

He doesn't go on mumsnet bibbity! And if any of my RL friends recognise him then it's hardly crime of the century.

No I don't run every thing I buy past him - but we spend our spends on whatever we like, but I budget for the bills. I don't expect his 'spends' to show up on my phone bill to the tune of a fiver. That's out of order.

Thanks Silver! I did find it a bit difficult to understand where that came from so now you have explained it it makes much more sense.

As I explained, we are only apart for two weeks until I go out there (no way would I be away from DS for 2 months! 2 days so far and I feel fucked in the head) and in fact he has called me (but not mentioned the text) and we are fine. Also we are a bit abrasive sometimes in the way we talk to each other - I wish we weren't sometimes but it's not a big deal. He would read that text, shrug and maybe be pissed off for 3 minutes.

I like the idea of buying a DVD very much! That way I could buy a nice lady friendly one and maybe even introduce it to our repertoire

I have just this moment (taking advantage of my empty house to spring clean and reorganise) moved a TV and DVD player into the bedroom so that's a perfect suggestion...now off to chat to ask for recommendations!

This is what happens when I put my RL responsibilities before my MN'ing - will never post in a hurry again. I should have put in more about you not being able to make up properly but my my tea sounded suspicously like it was burning.

Thanks for accepting my apology, I hope you enjoy it over there I am very morocco is somewhere I have always wanted to go.

Oh dear god, let the man have a nice wank to some porn!! Talk about guilty pleasure! I'm feeling sorry for him!

I would be teasing him mercilessly ...would you be upset if he had ordered any movie...or is it the fact it's porn?..sounds a tad parent child

Meh it is only 5 quid, if the porn itself isn't a problem then I don't think the money should be. If you have separate play money just ask him to cough it up so it doesn't effect yours.

Just float him the fiver, what difference does it make?

Nah it's the fact that it was porn! A bloody fiver for some crappy wank fodder that he could get for free on tinternet. He's the same about everything though - he'll buy a crappy burger rather than wait 20 minutes to go home and cook something nice - forgets stuff at home all the time and has to buy a new one...etc. I suppose the porn is another example.

But yeeees IWBU. I have apologised to him for sending a shitty text. All is good.

LOL..kat you sound like me in some respects why bluddy pay when you get get the same and better for free?...my DH buys things and I think what the heck?...stop wasting money dammit! no shopping sense!