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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send a pissed off text to DH about porn?

46 replies

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/01/2010 15:04

About a year ago we got 3 porno films on our virgin media bill. DH swore blind he didn't order them. Virgin admitted one had been a mistake (ordered when I was only one in house so I knew it was) but the other two were when I was away for the weekend and they didn't budge. I thought it was possible that DH either didn't realise how much they would cost or that I would find out (phone bill in my name).
Anyway, I gave the benefit of the doubt but said in future if you do want to look at porn please can you find free stuff online as I don't want to waste money on porn thank you very much.

Have just got the phone bill and there is another one on there from a night I was at my parents'. DH is away with DS now so I text him to the effect of 'why the fuck have you ordered a porno when I told you not to and you know I have to pay the fucking phone bill - plus with the calls you made to morocco the bill is huge and now I have to pay it, why the fuck do you think it's ok to order porn to our phone bill'?

I relented and text him saying 'i'm over it now but please don't do it again'. So - AIBU? Is it a big deal? (not the porn watching, but the ordering it to our phone bill without telling me and leaving me to see it on the bill, plus pay a fiver for his jollies)

OP posts:
MrsMontague · 28/01/2010 15:22

YANBU, I would be furious. Surely he can go one night? I'd make him give you the money for it, or at least spend it on a nice box of chocolates to make up for it!

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/01/2010 15:31

I will don't worry! He can go many nights - but I don't even care if he has a wank or watches porn - but not bloody pay per view that I have to bloody pay for!

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 28/01/2010 15:39

Hang on a minute - given that Virgin admitted they made a mistake in the past, is it not possible that they have made another mistake? Or has your H admitted it?

diedandgonetodevon · 28/01/2010 15:41

YABU to text him. Why can't people at least speak to each other any more??

MrsMontague · 28/01/2010 15:41

Haha Kat fair enough Well if you are so good about him watching porn in general, he is definitely taking the piss! A lot of women would crucify him just for watching it, never mind having to pay for it!

Malificence · 28/01/2010 15:49

Depends if it was "trade tv" .

God have you seen the trailers for PPV porn on Virgin? - god it's grim, especially the readers wives one, DH said he'd need a sick bucket handy to be able to stomach one of them. They are right next to bloody film 4 as well.

thedollshouse · 28/01/2010 15:51

Can't you just tell him that he should pay the bill?

KimiLivesInStarbucks · 28/01/2010 15:53

Help your self to money from his wallet/bank and pay the bill

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/01/2010 15:54

1- he's in a van somewhere between spain and morocco hence the text
2- virgin definitely didn't make a mistake - all of them have been late at night when I've been away
3- he didn't admit it last time, but I didn't believe him
4- he almost never watches porn, I don't think he knows how to find it online - maybe I should tell him?

I reflected and think I might have been a bit U. I have a couple of dirty books and a vibe which all cost money so maybe he should be able to pay for porn. It just seems such a waste of money - especially, as Mal says, the virgin media porn is total crap apparently - my friend said they don't even show penetration, so what's the bloody point?

OP posts:
Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/01/2010 15:55

Yeah I'll get the money from him, of course. It's only a fiver but that's not the point. Thing is, he knows I do the bills and especially now as he'll be out of the country for 2 months so I'm taking from our savings which seems a bit wrong!

OP posts:
crumpette · 28/01/2010 15:59

YANBU. He should pay for it and then grovel and beg for forgiveness. You are so good to be completely OK with porn anyway, he's taking the piss.

Malificence · 28/01/2010 16:14

I doubt he doesn't know how to find porn online.

Even my DH , who doesn't watch any kind of porn, has heard of redtube and xtube, purely through other blokes talking.

aSilverLining · 28/01/2010 16:17

Is he from Morocco / has relatives there? Just curious with you saying he had ran up a bill to there and was going there for 2 months with your son? Is that right?

TBH if I have your situation correct I would not be daring to send him arsey texts - unless he was on his way back that is.
I'm sorry if that seems harsh but it was my first thought once I had read through thread.

giraffesCantCeilidhDance · 28/01/2010 16:17

He should pay for it.

Virgin media are famous for making mistakes though they once said I had ordered some boys gangster film (18) five times. I told the man on the phone that when I watch The Bill I have to hide behind a cusion so why the hell would I order this scary thing 5 fuckin times?!

anabellapity · 28/01/2010 16:21

you should download a load of suitable porn for him that is to your taste, give it to him for valentines day and maybe watch it together

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/01/2010 16:25

WTF?

Ok, have to bow out of this thread now. If I read it rightly a poster has just suggested that my husband might abduct my son because I sent him an arsey text about him downloading a porno film.

I really can't engage with that - sorry.

OP posts:
benfmsmum · 28/01/2010 16:28

I read it that way too Kat! What are you talking about Silver??????!!!!!!

overmydeadbody · 28/01/2010 16:33

Is that really what Silver was implying?

Irishchic · 28/01/2010 16:34

Um, is it just me, or is there anyone else out there who actually wouldnt at all be cool with their dh even watching porn in the first place??

Cheepz · 28/01/2010 16:36

YANBU there is plenty of free porn online, its just sheer laziness ....

GetDownYouWillFall · 28/01/2010 16:36

Nikita - I feel the same as you, and would not be at all cool with it ...feeling like he wasn't getting what he "needed" from me?
I guess it depends what kind of relationship you have

Original poster
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/01/2010 16:38

I think so!

have calmed down slightly...so, um... he's my husband. He loves me. He has taken our son to see his family. I am going out in two weeks for two weeks then he will come back a month later. I know where his family live. They like me and would have no interest in helping to abduct my son. I have a stake in the shop that DH owns there. Under Moroccan law a married couple who separate have to share assets and custody always goes to the mother - so even if he were planning to ditch me and attempt to raise our son there I could go over, get the police and have DS returned to me forthwith.

Not that that's actually a possibility, you understand, the fact that he's moroccan doesn't automatically make him a child stealing bastard...

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Cheepz · 28/01/2010 16:41

lmao nicely put kat!!

maybe it was the fact that he watches pron which makes him a child stealing bastard - although as a morrocan who watches porn its a double whammy and clearly he has taken your child never to return ...

RumourOfAHurricane · 28/01/2010 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Irishchic · 28/01/2010 16:42

GetDown that's good, cos was beginning to wonder if I was some sort of throw back there for a while!