to ask this woman to move away from us?

[Mummy2Scarlet]

I was in town with DD(6) this morning after taking her to the dentist and we were waiting to get the bus back to school.

As we sat and waited on a wall, a lady came and sat next to us and lit a cigarette. DD has asthma and so I moved us away, but the wind was still blowing the cigarette smoke into her face and she started to get wheezy from the smoke. I need both hands to manage her inhaler and spacer and so we had to sit back down on the wall again next to this lady so I could give it to her. As the lady's cigarette smoke was clearly making DD wheezy, I asked if she would mind moving away a little and I think I was as polite as I could be when I asked her. She refused and so I had to sit, trying to give DD her inhaler next to someone who was smoking a cigarette, which really upset me.

Anyway, the bus came shortly after and we got on and DD was fine, but was I being unreasonable to ask her to move?

The more i think about this, the more i am for you - really, she has commited an assault - her actions have resulted in your child becoming ill. Yet she refused to move?? I know you could never get it to stick legally but that would have shut the bitch up.

I would quite happily see ALL smoking banned in public places, if you want to smoke, do it in your own home. Better still, ban the sale of cigarrettes. Don't even bother to say about the income generated via the tax - they probably have to pile that into the NHS to pay for the treatment of smoking related illnesses.

I actually feel so strongly about this that, i think that if an illness is 100% down to smoking and this can be proved, then the NHS should charge for treatment. I say this as someone who's father died from lung cancer as a result of smoking.

agree with LEM

Horrible inconsiderate woman. I get fed up that one of the side-effects of the smoking ban is that you now have to try to get away from smokers if you want to sit outside in a pub garden on a lovely sunny day. A lovely lunch in the sunshine can now be spoilt because the outdoor space is now regarded as the place to pollute the atmosphere. You can't sit outside a cafe and watch the world go by because you will be surrounded by people sucking on fags.
So no, you were perfectly justified.

She was a cow. I had the same the other day, except it was a woman who parked her car next to DS's buggy and left the engine running so the exhaust fumes were going into the his face She could have parked anywhere or turned the engine off.

I moved DS sharpish and glared. But she didn't notice/care

Amazes me how selfish some people are. Sucking a white stick more important than a child trying to breathe.

Don't the walking ashtrays care about other people?

I know what you mean about people holding cigarettes at exactly the same height as children's heads/faces. But the thing is people's hands are at the end of their arms and kids are shorter than adults... can't see a way round it short of banning smoking entirely. Which the government isn't about to do because they make too much money on fag duty (saw the figures once and it was about £11bn - and that's a couple of years ago). So, unless everyone votes to pay even more tax, on top of the massive amounts needed thanks to the bank bail-out, there's no easy way of sorting it out.

Id of took it out of her hand myself, what a bitch.

what an utter skank, her, not you of course, op!

You see this is why i don't 'do' buses, I'd be up on murder charges in a week!

What a knob. YADNBU.

Think everyone is overreacting a bit here. Smoking is legal, some people like to do it, she was doing it in a place where it's allowed. It's a bit rude of her not to have moved when your DC is having a reaction and you've asked nicely (assuming you did ask nicely, and explain why she had to move and not you) but the reactions here are a bit ridiculous to suggest that she shouldn't have been smoking there in the first place.

YANBU
I smoke and I would never light up next to the child- in fact if I wanted to smoke while waiting for the bus I would move away from everyone.

YANBU!!!! I hate people like that (i only hate them less than people who make their kids sit outside cafes in january just so they can smoke)

I was waiting to go into an outside performance when i was heavily pregnant with dd. The people next to us were smoking so I said to DH - shall we go and stand over there?. He replied umm why?? So I had to say outloud -because I don't want to be in the smoke. When we moved the girl smoking said to her friends really loudly 'oh honestly...you can't smoke ANYWHERE these days!' and gave me quite an evil look as if I was doing something offensive.

btw I think you were very calm - I would have punched the wall sitting smoking woman!!!

Seriously Pixie? You really think that if the OP rudely demanded that the woman move (which I don't think she did) then she should have? Don't be ridiculous.

If you ask someone to do something in a rude manner, even if it's a perfectly reasonable request, the best response you're likely to get is 'I'm allowed to be here doing this so you can move if you don't like it'.

I hate smoking and I also have asthma - but I still think some of the responses here are a bit hysterical.

I find it hard to believe that your daughter could get that wheezy from the passive smoke of one cigarette, smoked at a distance, outside on a windy day.

Hello!

Thanks for all your responses and I'm glad to see that the majority of you thought that I was being reasonable.

Trillian, I did ask politely (I remembered my pleases and thankyous and even offered to keep an eye on her bags if she wanted to go and stand on the corner of the street).

Nancy66, DD's asthma is brittle and she is extremely sensitive to cigarette smoke. She has been known to go from being perfectly healthy to needing oxygen in less than ten minutes after being in a smoky pub. She also has a cold at the moment which makes it worse. I'm sorry if you don't believe that she needed her inhaler.

Pixie, I could have swung for the woman after she'd refused to move, but thankfully the bus came along!

I think the lady was obviously being rude and unreasonable to not move.

However, some of the posters on here are taking this way too far.

Seriously suggesting that the lady deserved a punch in the face..in what way does that make you a better person than her, being violent in front of a child is fine in your world then I presume sungirl?

Yes people should have some common decency about where they smoke, but it's legal and that is that.

I'm an ex smoker by the way, I've been clean for 4 years and hate the smell it makes me feel sick.

YANBU, OP, but anyone who thinks the woman was BU to be smoking there in the first place is BU.

YANBU , vile woman

Yanbu at all.

Everyday I have to carry my baby ds throught a crowd of wrinkly hags 2nd hand smoke to take my dd to school.

I used to smoke, i'll even admit to liking the odd one pack one when ove had a drink but people who smoke around children are morons.smoking should be banned all together IMO.

No YANBU. How rude of the woman. Especially after you got your DD's inhaler out.

I used to smoke and I would never dream of lighting up next to a child. In fact I hated smoking whilst walking down the street so if I really wanted one I used to find a quiet bench tucked away somewhere and then have a cigarette.

What made me was when I had made the effort to find somewhere really quiet, no-one around then some woman comes over and sit's her young Ds next to me (4 other empty benches she could've choosen) and then cough cough's at me while giving me an evil look.

I was about to post that the lady was rude not to move away a bit. I certain would have as soon as I realised it was making someone uncomfortable.

However reading "why should we be hidden away inside because we chose not to smoke?" annoys me greatly. The reason smokers are outside is because people like you helped push through a law forcing them outside. If you now don't like it then tough.

LEMhasgonetothedogs you said "Don't even bother to say about the income generated via the tax - they probably have to pile that into the NHS to pay for the treatment of smoking related illnesses."

Wrong.

In fact it pays so much more into the NHS than even the most pessimistic estimate (by the NHS) that smokers are subsiding your treatment all the time. Think of that next time you need a doctor.

onagar in my opinion people should not be able to smoke indoors or outdoors in a public place. I would not come over to you and start spitting poison in your face indoors OR outdoors so why should we have to put up with it ANYWHERE?. I dont care what people do in their own homes but as soon as we go into public we have to modify our behaviour so that we can live in a decent society. What do you think about men pissing up a wall because to me this is no different to smoking all over someone.

I am not normally a person with very strong opnions on things I admit but in this case nothing will change my mind!