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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave the children home alone for 5 mins

117 replies

nancydrewrocks · 27/01/2010 15:16

DD is 5, DS is 3.10.

I am staying with my sister at the moment. The only arrangement for parking is using two hour visitor spaces at the bottom of her road (there is no access to the road either for pedestrians or cars at the other end - may or may by relevant depending on paranoia level)

So if we are in the house I have to move the car every two hours (so maybe twice in an afternoon).

AIBU to leave them unattended in the house for 5 mins whilst I move the car?

OP posts:
apsie · 27/01/2010 19:44

My concern would not just be what if something happened to the kids in the house while you were out, but also what if something were to happen to you while you were out for those few minutes? If you were injured somehow it's possible you may not be able to let anyone know about the children - obviously this is an absolute worse case scenario!

luciemule · 27/01/2010 19:45

I would normally disagree with the scenario you're saying however, others are right in saying that there's not really any difference going down the garden to hang out the washing.
The only thing is, say if your car was hit into by another car for example, nobody would know that you had children in the house on their own. If you're only at your sister's all day, I would just take the kids with me every couple of hours, even if it takes 20mins. If they're only watching tv anyway it's not like they're missing something that can't be missed IYSWIM?
If it were my own children, I would have trusted a 5 yr old not to hurt a 3 yr old whilst I was away (not necessarily intentially but even by accident), epsecially if they were playfighting for example.

Northernlurker · 27/01/2010 19:51

Oh for heavens sake - people are out in gardens longer than this. It takes me longer to hang the washing out. Op - it's fine in my view.

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 19:54

"The only thing is, say if your car was hit into by another car for example, nobody would know that you had children in the house on their own"

If she fell down the stairs and knocked herself out same thing would apply (assuming that the 5yr old is one of many who wouldn't ring 999, even if they knew they should).

Northernlurker · 27/01/2010 19:56

And the wht if scenario is easily dealt with - text sister saying moving car. If no text saying car moved in 10 minutes then sister rings house, failing answer she rings for the calvary. End of problem!

lou031205 · 27/01/2010 19:59

i wouldn't.

FoShoSTFU · 27/01/2010 19:59

Message deleted

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 19:59

corrr Northern you're more organised than me - I'd never think of that - I'd go down the garden to have a fag hang the washing out, meteror would fall from the sky and flatten me and no-one would know my kids were in the house or that I was flattened in the garden

nappyaddict · 27/01/2010 20:07

eggontoast Would you be investigated for neglect if you something happened to them whilst you were putting the bins or washing out or unloading the car?

Wolliw · 27/01/2010 20:19

Park further away and get a cab bus walk back and no moving the car.

Did you not know this when you came to visit? It could be an emergency stay I guess.

YABU
Don't leave a 3 and 5 year old alone in the house. If one of them has an accident you would never forgive yourself.

Northernlurker · 27/01/2010 20:33

wolliw - that arguement is nonsense though - we all know we would never forgive ourselves if our children had any sort of serious accident at all, whether we were in or out of the house.

I think my grandmother still feels guilty that they didn't dissuade my uncle from taking a job which he travelled to on his mororbike. Commuting one morning he was killed. Feeling crap if something happens is a given, it doesn't mean there's a greater risk of x horrible thing happening!

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 20:43

nappy - I dont know. Thats what my dh said. I thought it was a bit strange. he does not work on public protection unit or anything, perhaps he is thinking a little too harshly.

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 20:46

something strange going on on this post.

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 20:54

nappy - did my post get deleted? Was I in the wrong to write that?? Please explain why if you know, I like to play by the rules and dont want to do it again -

activate · 27/01/2010 21:51

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) advises that:

  • babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Yourchildshealthandsafety/Yourchildssafetyinthehome/D G_070594

a pre-schooler is ceratainly a 'very young child'

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 22:02

yes of course they say they should be never left alone - but life doesn't work like that sometimes, you need to put the bin out, you need to hang the washing out, you need to get the shopping out the car, you need shit.............

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 22:05

and they recommend - it's not the law (although obviously if "flouted" badly and something happens then you can be investigated for neglect)

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 22:06

Toccata - do you know what I did wrong, I'm dying here!!

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 22:08

and you'll also note that they don't specify what a "long period" or indeed even "home alone" is............

"There is no legal age limit for leaving a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ?in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health? (Children and Young Person?s Act)."

Somehow I don't think 5 minutes quite falls under that

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 22:09

egg - which post of yours was deleted? can't se for looking - what time was it at?

smokinaces · 27/01/2010 22:11

i would say move your car. I leave my kids (3 & 2) alone when I go and shower (bathroom downstairs at back of house) and thats a lot longer than 5 minutes. Often I come out to find DS1 has got out of bed (I try and shower first thing in the morning) and sitting in the front room - but in that time "anything could happen" But what am I meant to do as a single parent?

on Sunday night I was putting the bins out (live on green, have to walk it all the way out to the road) Came back in to find out DS1 had got out of bed (he was asleep and well) and puked everywhere. But I had to leave him alone in the house for those few minutes or else the bins wouldnt go out.

Personally I would judge it on a time by time basis. Are you not itching to all get out the house every 2 hours anyway though? Like to the park/shops/out away from cbeebies? I go mad indoors all day!

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 22:14

smokinaces - he could quite have easily puked everywhere with you in the house and you not realise.

DS3 did it to me when I was a single parent, I woke up one morning to find him absolutely covered, I'd been asleep, he'd made no noise/fuss when he'd done it just gone back to sleep...........I didn't know because I was asleep.

Hell my kids have got up to ALL SORTS while I've been asleep at night, they (especially DS1) is very adept at sneaking around without a sound,

smokinaces · 27/01/2010 22:18

Toccata, I know. Its one of those things isnt it?

Our bathroom is downstairs at the back of the house. DS1 has learnt how to open the stairgate and take himself to the toilet in the night. Ace, apart from I rarely wake up with it at the moment (sheer exhaustion) and he could be doing anything down here - watching tv, make himself something to eat, hell even open the front door. Luckily he is normally so asleep still he staggers back up the stairs!

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 22:23

1959 - I assumed you knew as you talked about neglect. I dont want to write it again as it must have been wrong. nappyaddict must know what it said because she responded to it.

I just wrote what my hubby said about the matter. It wasnt mean or anything, just a point of view as far as I could tell. I am always careful not to hurt people.

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 22:23

thankfully we have an upstairs toilet as well as the bathroom (like yours downstairs at the back) so toilet isn't too much of an issue.

I know the feeling with the exhaustion - not now but when I was a single parent last time round. Was having trouble sleeping sometimes I wouldn't sleep at all for nights on end........then I would eventually crash, when I crashed NOTHING would wake me>

Ironicallyu the Dr wouldn't give me sleeping tablets because "I may not wake up in emergency"..........."no shit sherlock, only one problem when I fall asleep now I wouldn't wake up in an emergency either as I'm so bloody tired by the time I do sleep, and the rest of the time I'm a fucking moody shouting cow because I'm so tired"

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