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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to leave the children home alone for 5 mins

117 replies

nancydrewrocks · 27/01/2010 15:16

DD is 5, DS is 3.10.

I am staying with my sister at the moment. The only arrangement for parking is using two hour visitor spaces at the bottom of her road (there is no access to the road either for pedestrians or cars at the other end - may or may by relevant depending on paranoia level)

So if we are in the house I have to move the car every two hours (so maybe twice in an afternoon).

AIBU to leave them unattended in the house for 5 mins whilst I move the car?

OP posts:

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 15:53

People including me, often wonder, what age will I be able to leave my children and for how long etc.

Well, when the time is right, you will know in your bones because it will feel safe. If you have doubts, listen to them.

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 15:53

if it was a baby - yes I'd do it definitely - epecially if a sleeping one (have often popped next door to get one of the DS's from school with a sleeping baby left in the house).

And yes I DO go to the bathroom for a sh*t (actually I sometimes go for a shower) and leave DS3 (2 3/4yrs old) in the living room.

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 15:56

"Well, when the time is right, you will know in your bones because it will feel safe. If you have doubts, listen to them."

sorry I have to disagree with that one. As parents I think it's totally normal to have doubts, that doesn't me we should always listen to them. Part of parenting is worrying about our children (I reckon 90% of the time unduly worrying). Often I've found it's bigger hurdle to cross for the parent when doing something for the first time than it is for the child.

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 15:56

nancy - if you feel it is safer to leave them than to take them, or safe to leave them, then YANBU!!

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 27/01/2010 15:57

Can't you put them both in a safe room that has a stairgate on it such as the playroom (if you have one) or a bedroom? Or at least put the youngest somewhere safe?

Mumcentreplus · 27/01/2010 15:57

If you think its ok and the house is unlikely explode into flames anytime soon then go!..and hurry up all this time posting you could have gone already!

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 15:57

Toccata - Listening to them and letting them take the lead are two different things. I merely meant one should take doubts into consideration. You may decide to ignore them if something else over rules them.

abride · 27/01/2010 15:58

I think it's fine, nancy. You know your children and if they're engrossed in a video five minutes will not be a problem.

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 15:59

a stairgate isnt going to work with a 5yr old surely - my DS's have all been able to open the stairgate by the time they were 4!

I would put Cbeebies/other children's programme they like

Hand large pack of crisps/handful of biscuits/other food likely to keep quiet for a few minutes

and go........I don't think the are essential things to do - but they do make it all the more likely they'll still be sat there in the same place 20 minutes later never mind the 5 that the op will take

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 16:00

I asked my dh what age he thought we might leave our children for 10 mins - he said, when they are at high school (shock horror). I said, really?? He thought about it and said, no when they are 5 perhaps.

The point I make is, unless its your kids and your situation, it is very difficult to pass judgement because you dont really know until the time is right for your situation and your children.

Original poster

nancydrewrocks · 27/01/2010 16:02

The breastmilk I assume you don't have an almost 4 year old DS? He can climb a tree and leap from that to the garden shed and shimmy down the other side if the mood takes - he would eat a stairgate for breakfast!

However putting cartoons on seems to act like the child equiv of valium and he is unlikely to move off the sofa if scooby doo is on which is what we settle for!

OP posts:

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 27/01/2010 16:02

I wouldn't give them any food to eat whilst not supervising in case one of them choked.

But I would put the youngest one somewhere safe, the 5yr old is more responsible and can be content with doing some colouring in etc.

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 16:02

ahh I'm with you now thought you meant always be led by your doubts

agree situations and children vary so greatly there is no standard "right" time

Original poster

nancydrewrocks · 27/01/2010 16:03

And thanks Tocatta I was missing the very obvious point that if we are at friends with a stairgate it is invariably DD or DS that I have to call to let me out!

OP posts:

MmeLindt · 27/01/2010 16:06

Yes, I would leave them.

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 16:06

Toccata -

When I was writing the comment, I thought about explaining myself further re not always following them, but didnt bother. I am typing one handed with babe asleep on shoulder so left it off!!!! Maybe I am, by nature, a little confusing because I assume people ALWAYS get what I am saying and read between the lines. But, I am learning that people see things that are seemingly the same from millions of different angles, making them appear very different.

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 16:07

hehe - you know all this time the OP has taken to start this thread and post/follow it while ignoring her children behind(?) her - she could have gone and moved the car and come back again lol

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 16:09

Ah, but..... what if etc..... he he.

PotPourri · 27/01/2010 16:11

I would, it's only 5 minutes. Not like you are going out shopping or something....

Nancy66 · 27/01/2010 16:16

When I was four my mum left me with my brother who would have been about 18 months to go and collect a service wash from the launderette - at end of road.

She came back to find me pushing lego bricks into my brothers mouth - he was bright red in the face and struggling to breathe.

So, at that age, no I probably wouldn't.

A baby in a cot - yes i probably would.

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 16:17

but surely at nearly 4 the young sibling could fight back if that happened (though in this house the younger the sibling the stronger they seem to fight back)

KnottyLocks · 27/01/2010 16:23

Could you and your sister swap cars while you are staying at hers? Would solve the problem.

Original poster

nancydrewrocks · 27/01/2010 16:28

tocatta same in our house! DS could definitely give DD a run for her money if she tried.

knotty sis and BF both drive sporty little numbers which would involve children in back seat without car seats so a far greater crime.

OP posts:

KnottyLocks · 27/01/2010 16:40

Dammit. Thought that was the answer.

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 16:59

knotty - it sounded good to me too, what a shame.

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