to be very slightly put out that a relative said of dd "Of course she's not pretty!"

[nigelslaterfan]

"she's adorable but not pretty!"

as if 'prettiness' was a kind of scientific norm like brown eyes or hair.

Of course we are parentally blind and I was relieved to have a pleasant faced dd rather than a baby who looked like me when I was a baby (really scientifically unpretty)
So AIBU? You don't say that do you? You just say to all babies that they are adorable don't you?

You don't say a fat baby "Isn't thin" do you?

Weird... and yes I am extremely PM today, and have far more important stuff to do than rush about mumsnet with my sack of insecurity!

YANBU but from a close friend/rellie, I'm sure it wasn't meant maliciously so I would let it go. (Try to get something similar in when she has a baby ). Comments like that are back handed compliments.
Doesn't the saying go, that ugly babies become beautiful adults?
Character will get you further than beauty anyway.

Appreciate all these posts btw.

chegirlsgotheartburn my mother said something like that to me when I was about 12 and I'd answered the phone for my devastating big sister the 10th time in an evening!
Weirdly I quite liked that she said what she did, something about my 'personality', and it always meant a lot to me. I always felt 'odd' looking, certainly I was never a conventionally pretty. I don't know why I didn't find that damaging. Maybe because my mother was all about the inside and didn't ever seem to care about 'prettiness' as such. But in our society to pronounce on a woman's appearance feels very damning doesn't it? It's just too important.

It's just I would never pronounce about a child. It's just kind of not done imo. Also I think when this woman said what she said I suddenly felt anxious for dd in the future, would she be attractive (would she be all right?) sort of thing.

dd is 16 months btw.

YANBU - i would of said your right shes not pretty shes drop dead gorgeous!!