to think my DP sister is a loser?

[littlemissfixit]

OK quick background. DP has 5 siblings 1 brother, 3 sisters. They all live at home and are all over 21. 1 sister is doing a law degree, other bit immature, The Brother saving up to move out.

But his sister in question is 27, with a full time job, well paid, has a boyfriend (30 who also lives with his mum!!) and has absolutly no plans to move out. Is it me or is she either a bit weird or a sponging git?
Its kind of irritates me that she pays £50 a months house keeping (reluctently) and could well afford to stand on her own two feet.

Her room is a bomb site (so much that the family jokes " dont let ds go into her room because we'l never find him hahaha"

I asked DP's mum today has she any plans to move, no she said, i think she's too comfortable!

Her other 2 sisters still share a room, (1 constantly complains to me about it) which i think is unfair. I cant help but think if you have the means to move out then you should..shouldn't you?

Loser is a bit strong. However, she is a well paid adult who bemoans having to pay her parents £50 rent and can't get herself out of bed in time to catch a flight. She sounds like she needs to grow up a bit to me.

Littlemiss, you are obviously a highly unreasonable person who should be flamed through the streets, if not publicly hanged, drawn and quartered, for daring to express an opinion on this subject.

Erm.... I mean:

Wot Bibbity said.

Expat - no need to get narked.

Its none of you business what goes on in your DPs family really is it.

I think you need to look at your self and see why it bothers you so much

I'm 48 and my DH, DS and I recently moved back in with my 81 year old mother. DH runs his own company. My bedroom has ALWAYS been a bombsite. Are we weird sponging gits?

Votes please!

Erm, no MrsF - you have obviously lived apart from your mother before.

Perhaps you have moved back because she needs you to look after her.

Perhaps you have moved back because you have fallen on hard times financially.

Perhaps you have moved back because you are between houses.

Perhaps you have moved back because you are saving up for one specific big thing.

The op's sil has none of these reasons. She is solvent, young (but not that young), fit and in a committed relationship. She is hitching a ride at home (ok, its not against the law) and the op thinks it wouldn't do her any harm to stand on her own two feet a bit.

Blimey, really surprised at all the YABUS here.

Grown ups who still want to live with their parents are weird. Sorry, but why would anyone over the age of 21 WANT to?

Love my family to bits, get on very well, but I wouldn't want to live with them - no way!

I also thought it was usual and quite common to want to move out and build your own, independent life. Most people I know feel the same way.

This thread is quite an eye opener.

Perhaps she doesn't want to move in with her boyfriend til they get married (which til recently was of course the norm) and is very sensibly saving as much deposit as she can.

I think YABabitU, though I do see where you're coming from.

I was just contemplating my life and I left home at 18 under a bit of a cloud and have since lived in at least 14 homes since(I've been trying to remember places and there could have been more). Since then, I've been ripped off my landlords (non-return of deposit) and co-tenants (bills in my name left unpaid, rent unpaid etc). It took me years to get myself sorted enough to get a joint mortgage.

I do think adult children need to live independently but I don't it works out well for many people. If I had stayed with my parents, it is likely I would have afforded a mortgage much sooner and maybe have afforded some other useful things (driving lessons, car...) I dunno, I sort of wish I hadn't left home so young as I may have actually learned how to save money and got myself afloat.

However, at 30 I do think your DP's sis needs to get her act together soon,

Oops lots of errors

married i know for sure thats not on the cards or children for that matter, dp jokingly said to her a xmas, so when are you two going to announce your engagement..they both looked at him as if he had got up and spat in their faces, then his sis replied we dont want to get married and mum can forget about me giving her any grand children..could think of nothing worse! These two have been together for nearly 2 years, and both still live with their parents.

I'm sorry but if my son is still living with me at that age and has no intention of moving, i would think i hadn't done a good job in giving the life skills or confidence he needs to be able to go it alone, i mean obvisouly there are certain circumstance that may prevent him from going, but if he didn't want to move out i'd be worried!

Yes. It is good to leave the parental home and enjoy an independent life. It is not so good, however, to bother your head about why other people's siblings are doing differently.

Unless you are prepared to admit, up front, that what you really want is a bitchfest. It's only fair to give notice that we need to get sat down comfortably with the Pringles before you get the first strike in.