Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my DP sister is a loser?

62 replies

littlemissfixit · 26/01/2010 00:09

OK quick background. DP has 5 siblings 1 brother, 3 sisters. They all live at home and are all over 21. 1 sister is doing a law degree, other bit immature, The Brother saving up to move out.

But his sister in question is 27, with a full time job, well paid, has a boyfriend (30 who also lives with his mum!!) and has absolutly no plans to move out. Is it me or is she either a bit weird or a sponging git?
Its kind of irritates me that she pays £50 a months house keeping (reluctently) and could well afford to stand on her own two feet.

Her room is a bomb site (so much that the family jokes " dont let ds go into her room because we'l never find him hahaha"

I asked DP's mum today has she any plans to move, no she said, i think she's too comfortable!

Her other 2 sisters still share a room, (1 constantly complains to me about it) which i think is unfair. I cant help but think if you have the means to move out then you should..shouldn't you?

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemissfixit · 26/01/2010 13:05

for the 3rd and final time... i KNOW its none of my buisness, so because its none of my buisness i have no right to my own opinion?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 26/01/2010 13:08

I don't see how this is any of your business.

EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 26/01/2010 13:09

yes definitely none of your business [snurk]

Original poster
littlemissfixit · 26/01/2010 13:12
OP posts:
tialys · 26/01/2010 13:12

My dh was very close to his parents and lived with them til he was 30.
He paid fair housekeeping, his share of telephone bills/electric bills etc. Did his own washing.
He moved out when we saved enough to buy our house.
Is he a loser then?
(can't quite work up the energy to be too offended at this)

Each to their own. Keep out of it

bibbitybobbityhat · 26/01/2010 13:13

I agree with you op. I am always a little bit about perfectly well off and capable adults living at home with parents. Makes them seem so needy and immature.

No, its none of your business, yes, it does make you look a little bit judgey - but are you entitled to your opinion? Of course you are!

expatinscotland · 26/01/2010 13:15

I think anyone who has that much time on their hands to put their nose in someone else's business is a loser.

bibbitybobbityhat · 26/01/2010 13:20

What a load of tripe expat.

It doesn't take any time to have an opinion about other people.

My 30 year old brother who works full time still lives at home with my parents. My dad is 80. My stepmother does all his cooking and washing and ironing for him.

I wouldn't describe him as a loser (think thats a very unkind word, actually) but it takes me no time or effort to know that I think he should move on and become more independent from his parents.

messygarden · 26/01/2010 13:20

Sounds like a nice family. If I was in the position of either of the younger 2 sisters, I think I'd like living there - do you think each of them should come home to an empty 1 bed flat which costs a fortune to run instead? Why?

The elder sister - presumably her and her bf are saving for a deposit/planning to move out relatively soon. I'd prefer a bit of privacy in her position, but I have no problem with her living at home really.

Overall, I think it's nice that they're all together. It isn't always "immature" to live with your parents (sometimes it is), but in many cases, it is the optimal scenerio.

How would you like it if they came over to yours and criticised your chosen method of living. Would you like to be told to live in a flat/semi/detatched etc etc by an outsider or would you like to make the decision yourself? Would you like them to suggest to you whether you should rent/buy etc etc...

expatinscotland · 26/01/2010 13:22

Yeah, so, start a thread on a net forum about it, bibbity.

Original poster
littlemissfixit · 26/01/2010 13:23

sticking my nose in please explain? I have never said what i think about her to anyone, i asked on here because i no one i know in real life uses mn. So now having an opinion on something means i'm sticking my nose in, have you never had an opinion on something that doesnt concern you..oh what am i saying of course you haven't!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 26/01/2010 13:27

oh, got and get angry elsewhere! i can only imagine what the family thinks about you, the type of person who starts a thread on an open net forum about someone who's not harming anyone by living at home.

seriously, get a grip.

LoveInAColdClimate · 26/01/2010 13:30

I moved back in with my parents for six months or so when I was about 25 and loved it - they assure me the feeling was mutual. Was brilliant having all that time with them when we were all adults - we had (and have) some fantastic times and it was lovely to all cook and eat together as a family every night and talk for hours over long, boozy dinners. If I didn't live with DP, I would definitely consider moving back in. Mind you, it probably helped that they live in a big house in a really beautiful part of the country - might have been a different story if we'd been more on top of each other.

Original poster
littlemissfixit · 26/01/2010 13:31

i'm not angry expat, why would i be? dp's family and i really get on and at least 1 of them are round here once a week, mostly in the afternoon when dp's at work.

OP posts:
Original poster
littlemissfixit · 26/01/2010 13:33

or maybe i should be posting about serious matter in life like weather i prefer instant coffee or not eh?

OP posts:
EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 26/01/2010 13:35

jesus calm down, it has been established yabu. get over it.

spingspong · 26/01/2010 13:36

Expat, the only angry person I can see on this thread is you.

The OP has repeatedly said that she agrees it's not her business and hasn't put her beak in where it's not wanted - she's just expressing the opinion that she finds the situation a little odd. As do I...

expatinscotland · 26/01/2010 13:38

'Expat, the only angry person I can see on this thread is you.'

PMSL!

This is the funniest thing I've read all day besides a BBC headline that: Shock, horror! 1 in 4 adults has admitted using illegal drugs. Duh.

MaggieTaSeFuar · 26/01/2010 13:38

i don't see why you would judge her for living with her family. her mum sounds like she is happy with the arrangement. she'd be odd if she moved out because she realised other people thought it odd though.

AuntieMaggie · 26/01/2010 13:39

Sorry but it's none of your business. My sister is in a similar situation still living with my parents and I would be really angry if my DP were talking about her the way you're talking about your DPs sister.

She may have issues you know nothing about or reasons why she still lives at home. Just because you're with her brother doesn't mean you deserve any say in what she does with her life.

Original poster
littlemissfixit · 26/01/2010 13:51

spingspong i'm glad that i'm not the only 1 with this opinion!

OP posts:
typical · 26/01/2010 14:19

"DP has 5 siblings 1 brother, 3 sisters. They all live at home and are all over 21."

So does your dp live there as well?

Mumcentreplus · 26/01/2010 14:29

Hey i didn't technically leave home till i was 26!!..I actually got on with my parents (although we they didn't get on with each other hence the divorce)
I contributed to running the home and taking care of it..when things started to get on my tits too much and I got the oppotunity I moved out..mind ya own beeswax!

VinegarTits · 26/01/2010 14:35

YABU and a bit nasty to call her a loser, she is obviously on to a winner

I wish i still lived with my parents, you sound a bit jealous mate

Original poster
littlemissfixit · 26/01/2010 15:15

jelous god no. I love my parents but i also love that i'm too far away for them to pop round for a visit. i asked for my own flat for my 12th bitthday .

sorry for the mistake, i was severly craving for fags last night when i wrote this so my head was'nt all that clear and didn't notice the mistake until another poster pointed it out. infact it was like a cartoon where the little angel and devil are sitting on either sholder, only my little angel and devil was kicking lumps out of each other

OP posts: