My friend phoned out of the blue last week and asked if DH and I would like to join them to see a burlesque show in the London. I said yes, because
a) I like going out and don't get to go out often enough,
b) there was talk of dinner after,
c)I didn''t have the heart/guts to say 'Good God woman, what on eath do you want to sit through that cheesy tripe for?'
d) I was caught unawares and panicked.
Now I am not a prude, at least not where a consenting couple and a a bedroom are concerned. I have been known to be a bit inventive/naughty on occasion, and I have had a passing aquaintance with bumsex, bondage etc, so NOT a nun or a repressed saddo, and do I realise that burlesque is not full-on pornography, but I just find the thought of all that cheesy old fashioned titillation caberet-stylee excruciatingly embarrassing and cringey. I don't find it sexy, I find it a bit seedy and sad. I won't know where to look. I can't bear to think I'll be in a room with two hundred bald fat middle aged men who are all pretending to enjoy the 'art' and the music, and the spectacle, when actually their eyes are glazed over and they've got a hard-on under their popcorn. ICK!
I can't bear the chippendales, stripograms, hen-nights or lap-dancing or anything that's designed to get people horny whilst in a room full of strangers. Its all so undignified and cringey and desperate!
I googles the 'artiste' I'm going to have to sit through, and watched a video of her stripping (artistically) whilst singing some crap caberet style song, and I felt a sickeing feeling of impending doom. I'll be fidgeting in my seat all night, for all the wrong reasons and looking through gaps in my fingers.
Am I wrong?