Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to go out with my husband on Valentine's Day?

28 replies

gonaenodaethat · 24/01/2010 10:52

DH says it is too busy, overpriced and we should go out another night instead.

Now, DH is not the most demonstrative of men, he's not one for romantic gestures or compliments, but I'd like it if he would make an effort, just for this one day. We can afford it and babysitting is not a problem.

So, am I being pathetic?

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 24/01/2010 10:53

YANBU, or pathetic.

Are you married to my DHs twin brother?

compo · 24/01/2010 10:54

well personally I'd rather go out anther day because the sight of teens and other loved up couples gazing adoringly at each other makes me what to puke
valentines day is for the school yard isn't it?!! anonymous cards etc
I'd go out the night after and get him to amek a fuss

pointydug · 24/01/2010 10:55

I agree with your dh that it is too busy and overpriced on valentine's day. Mucvh nicer to cook a special meal at home and eat out on another day.

But if money and babysitting is not a problem, I don't see why he doesn't let go of his logic a little

TrillianAstra · 24/01/2010 10:56

YAB a bit U - it is an arbitrary date and you will have a much nicer evening out on any other day.

It's not just busy and overpriced, restaurants willl try to get you to order from the (crappy) 'Valentines Day menu', you wll be harrassed by men trying to sell you a single red rose when you are trying to have a conversation, and many of them will either rush you through your meal or try to get you to book late so they can fit in 2 sittings on every table. No lingering over coffee allowed.

londonmackem · 24/01/2010 10:57

We always go out another night to avoid the overpriced set menus! I would go out the Saturday night to my favourite restaurant.

Buda · 24/01/2010 11:09

Would so NOT go out on Valentine's night! The anniversary of when we got together is the 12th and we used to always go out on the 13th for both anniversary and Valentines!

On Valentine's night I used to do a nice dinner and have a nice bottle of wine and a movie.

mii · 24/01/2010 11:10

Valentines day is on par with New Years Eve for crappiness

go out another night

sorry

DecorHate · 24/01/2010 11:14

Agree with your dh - have a nice dinner and bottle of wine at home after the dcs have gone to bed. If you don't feel like cooking, go to M&S or get a takeaway

TrillianAstra · 24/01/2010 11:20

You can (and possibly must given that you can afford it and want to) have your proper evening out as well as the nice evening in on the 14th.

Original poster
gonaenodaethat · 31/01/2010 19:06

Thanks folks. You're right, of course. Think I was just feeling a bit sorry for myself, first Valentine's Day of my forties an'all.
We'll probably go another night. Have hinted HEAVILY that I'd like a prezzie this year tho and not just a slightly pornographic card like last year!

OP posts:
displayuntilbestbefore · 31/01/2010 19:11

YABU to even think Valentines day is anything significant
Valentines day is a marketing ploy to get everyone to make their partner feel guilty for not booking a table at a packed restaurant and having to sit amongst a load of teen couples ordering food to feed to each other
Go out another night, it will be much more pleasant in the restaurants.
Save your money and instead of getting presents, spend it on an extra nice bottle of wine when you do go out.

OrmRenewed · 31/01/2010 19:14

I don't know if you are being pathetic or not but I can't stand Valentine's Day. Why do we all have to be catapulted into romantic gestures on the 14th Feb? It's synthetic and crap.

I sort of agree with your DH actually.

rollerbaby · 31/01/2010 19:20

I don't know why everyone is so right on about Valentines Day. What's the harm in a little marketing propaganda to remind us to focus on one another now and again... If you fancy a night out and cash is not a problem, do it! You never know when you might not be able to for whatever reason so make the most of it say I.

Ilovemybed · 31/01/2010 19:20

I always think restaurants put more tables in on St Val's night as everyone is SO tightly packed. And everyone listens in to everyone else's conversations! I hate it.

And there's always a yukky snogging couple to make you feel like the sad marrieds.

So you are not BU but I'd prefer to go out on another night.

Ilovemybed · 31/01/2010 19:22

but just say 'I want a present or there will be BIG TROUBLE' and smile sweetly.

OrmRenewed · 31/01/2010 19:22

The whole idea of being in love to order, to having a romantic evening to order, and ... even shagging to order, is so revolting as to be totally unromantic.

IMO clearly...

fluffles · 31/01/2010 19:23

we NEVER go out on valentine's day. have a nice night in instead.. or go out on a weekend near the night, but the night itself is awful in most resturaunts... almost as bad as the last friday before christmas.

2rebecca · 31/01/2010 21:10

My kids are with me valentines weekend so we won't be going anywhere. (I'm divorced so only have them half the weekends, plus it's Sunday so will need to do handover)
The last time we went out on Valentine's day they hiked up the prices from those on the menu and I noticed when paying the bill and complained and they said "it's extra for Valentines day".
I was too angry to check the menu and complain officially but never went there again and prefer romantic dinners when the restaurants aren't packed and you don't have to wait ages for your food.

2rebecca · 31/01/2010 21:15

Don't do presents for Valentines day, too much hassle, a card is fine, if he gets flowers it's nice but I really don't care that much. I stopped getting excited about Valentines day when I was in my early 20s. I think it's mainly a thing for teenagers when sending a card to a boy you fancy but daren't tell is a big deal.
Jackie (70s comic) always had big Valentine's features, they always led me to believe every other girl got masses of cards whilst I got zilch, you get older and realise other schoolgirls got zilch unless they had a boyfriend as well. If you know who your card is from there's not the same degree of excitement really.

Linnet · 31/01/2010 21:23

Personally I prefer going out before or after valentines night, never on the actual night. It's always busy, restaurants pack you in like sardines and want you out pronto so that they can get more tables in to make lots of money and I'm not being cynical here I used to work in a restaurant where we would give tables a time limit for heavens sake!

I would agree with everyone else have a nice meal in the house then maybe go out another night.

5Foot5 · 01/02/2010 19:47

Our wedding anniversary is on Valentines Day but for some years now we have avoided going out to celebrate on the day itself. It is hard to get a table anywhere decent and baby sitting was always an issue. We used to be with a (very expensive) babysitting agency when DD was young and still we couldn't manage to get anyone unless we planned weeks ahead.

We both like cooking so we often just do something really nice at home - oh and now DD is older and appreciates her food it is more likely to be for three than a romatic meal for two!

He always gets me a dozen red roses though!

RonaldMcDonald · 01/02/2010 19:53

yabu
Valentine's Day is when everyone who doesn't go out for the rest of the year goes out to show how romantic they are
the restaurants are packed
the food sub standard
there is a deathly hush whilst it dawns on most couples that they have nothing in common and no longer fancy each other

go out on the 15th

flowerybeanbag · 01/02/2010 19:59

I can't remember the last time I went out for dinner with my DH, let alone for Valentine's Day.

[bitter and twisted emoticon]

YABU but just because it would be horrendous anyway, will be much nicer another night.

heQet · 01/02/2010 19:59

no, you feel how you feel. It's ok.

However, Valentine's Day is, imo, the most unromantic day of the year.

"Oh, look dear, it's 14th of Feb. The calender says it's time to be romantic. Hop to it."

imo, true romance isn't scheduled. You don't do it because it's the day for it.

Little like planning to have sex cos it's saturday night and you always do it on a saturday night. About as sexy as taking a cold shower with janet street porter and the bloke who says "wonga" in the cash for gold ad

thesecondcoming · 01/02/2010 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.