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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Kisses on the end of text messages ?

101 replies

MillyMollyMoo · 21/01/2010 22:57

Is this the norm now to put x's on the end of messages to somebody's husband ?
There's more to it but this in particular is irritating me and I'm having to sit on my hands not to text her what the fuck are you playing at.

OP posts:

Longtalljosie · 22/01/2010 09:56

husband xxx
my family xxx
female friends x
male friends get a full stop!

verytellytubby · 22/01/2010 09:57

Oh god is it me! I put a x on most of my texts. I was mortified when I replied to a text from my boss and I automatically did it to him. Doh!

verytellytubby · 22/01/2010 10:00

Sorry I hadn't read all your post when I posted.

I'd be more suss about him staying out all night than a text with a x. Save your anger for your husband.

motherlovebone · 22/01/2010 10:07

i only put kisses in context.

sorry you are going through this xxx

your husband needs to stay away from this woman.

and at 32 she should know better.

FimbleHobbs · 22/01/2010 10:07

The cinema and staying all night would be ringing the world's most enormous alarm bell for me, I'm sorry to say.

I think you need to talk to your husband some more. Concentrate on the BIG problems. The texting is a more minor thing.

My husband works with a lot of single boyfriend-hunting Cheryl Cole wannabees women, x's on the end of texts seem to be the norm for them. He does occasionally end up with them pouring out their broken-again hearts when the latest date went wrong. If I feel one is getting a bit too needy I do sometimes ask him what its like being these girls' honorary Dad (dead subtle me) - not because I think he'll go off with them but because he ends up giving them his support/attention when I am His Wife and should have it above them!

RoseWater · 22/01/2010 10:26

Agree that the late night cinema and sleeping at services would be the things that concern me more for you going through this.

Both of those should actually be quite easy to verify - cinema opening times and also lots of service areas have a maximum stay time of a couple of hours which if you go over you get a parking ticket.

I like the change her number to your number idea - very clever

Re the x on the end of the text it could quite easily be habit

dignified · 22/01/2010 12:08

Who the fuck goes to the cinemas at 1am? Slept in the car? My arse!
Sorry to say but this sounds quite obvious doesnt it.When this happened to me i got sick of listening to exh shit and went to see her in person and said that H had told me everything ect which of course she beleived.

Theres no point asking your h any more about it, hes obviously already lied with the stupid story about staying in his car, id go and see her, or if you dont know where she lives id ring her saying the same.And no you wont look like a loon, shes clearly a intruder into your marriage and family and you have every right to question her involvement.
Ps are the cinemas really open at 1 am?

ChickensLoveMarmite · 22/01/2010 12:14

I think you're focusing your anger on the wrong thing/person, OP.

shockers · 22/01/2010 14:24

Are you ok MillyMM?

psychoveggie · 22/01/2010 17:15

I sign off most of my texts with kisses (6 for my dp, 3 for my best friends, 1 for other friends). I don't send kisses to work colleagues, acquaintances, or male friends unless I'm sure that they won't get the wrong idea, i.e. people I've known for years.

Depends on the context and the person. Some people are very kissy!

Original poster

MillyMollyMoo · 22/01/2010 17:27

I know I know I don't believe anyone spends the night - one of the coldest this year in the car in services - where as others have said there is a 2 hour maximum stay otherwise you usually get one of those parking companies write to you with a fine.
Who does that unless there's something in it for them ie they at least think they are going to get their leg over
The cinema times do check out, but again it's not right is it.

Have taken the advice ie the number - nothing as yet and he's had the opportunity today.

The thing is the moment kind of past with the cinema/services thing and he got off very lightly because it was literally Christmas eve, but I do wish she'd fuck off with her kisses and replying to his every comment on facebook.
I cannot see how I can make him stay away from her when they see each other once a week at Uni, I've said no socialising with the group though, no lifts.
I suppose i've just got to get on with it now and ignore the silly bitch and trust him. Not easy though

OP posts:

alicet · 22/01/2010 17:30

Only read op

I put kisses on the end of almost everyones text messages, married men or not. means nothing

clearly there is more to it - aibu by stealth which I guess i'll get by reading whole thread but while i was interested enough to read op not interested to read whole thread on xs on text messages sorry

MorrisZapp · 22/01/2010 17:32

With the very greatest respect OP - you let your DP off with spending the night with another woman at christmas while you are pregnant, but you think that she is the bad guy in this scenario?

I'm really sorry but your problems are much closer to home than that. So you let him off - now unlet him. His story was patently bullshit, and it isn't christmas now.

Demand to know what really happened - you have a right to this, don't you?

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 22/01/2010 17:32

I put kisses on texts to my husband and a couple of friends. The only other man I have ever out a kiss at the end of the text is an ex when we were talking again.

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 22/01/2010 17:39

Have you got his phone now?

LeQueen · 22/01/2010 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

junglist1 · 22/01/2010 17:51

Only read OP so far will read whole thing later. I had this problem with a neighbour sending x to my mans phone. It really kicked off to the point of police getting involved and everything, turned out she really does do it with everyone. I knew there was nothing going on but found it disrespectful and lost the plot. So IME don't overreact yet, some women just do that sort of thing without realising the problems it can cause.

junglist1 · 22/01/2010 18:04

Oh so he went to the cinema alone with her, not in a group? Not on, that's a date really isn't it. He should learn what a relationships about

JohnnyTwoHats · 22/01/2010 18:07

I am guilty of this
Unless you have other grounds for suspicion I would dismiss it out of hand, tbh.

troublewithtalk · 22/01/2010 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

MillyMollyMoo · 22/01/2010 18:44

Yes I'm on the phone now

OP posts:

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 22/01/2010 18:59

If you have his phone, why not reply as him and say something that will tell you what is going on if she answers.

AnyFucker · 22/01/2010 19:18

can we draw a line under the XX's on a text now and concentrate on the real issue here

this man is cheating, or very close to it

OP, if you want to turn a blind eye to his cheating...carry on getting worked up about about a couple of XX's on a text

whilst brushing obvious big red flags under the carpet....

Hedwood · 22/01/2010 19:22

Someone my DH went to school with FB'd him with a message and 5 kisses (!) at the end of it - I went bloody berserk at him. Went a bit FB stalker-y and found she does it on messages to everyone. I'm sure she had no idea of the hell she put my DH through trying to explain it

OP - it's about so much more than this though, isn't it?

blinder · 22/01/2010 19:43

I feel for you MillyMM. It sounds quite suspect to me. All night in the car? Has he slept in the car before? Some people treat them like mobile hotel rooms but if this is a first I'd be unimpressed.

Given that you are pregnant, are you sure you want to get to the bottom of what happened Xmas Eve? I'm not recommending that you brush it under the carpet OR that you have it out with him. But I think you should have some idea what you might DO with any more information at this stage.

Personally, I would have a plan of what I would say/do if I found out there was some infidelity, or if there wasn't. If I could take that action while pregnant, I'd find out what happened. But if not, in all honesty, I would put it on the back burner until I was sure I could act quickly. But that's me, not you.

I hope that your H was just being a prat on Xmas eve, (in some sort of sulk possibly?) and not a total sh*t.

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